Non-Melting Chocolate

They claim to have developed a non-melting chocolate that tastes good.

It seems to me that I’ve heard this same announcement several times in recent years. And, back when I was a kid, I knew there was something called a Hershey’s Tropical Bar. Was the problem that all of these previous incarnations were just awful in taste and texture? Do these multiple announcements mean that they’re getting incrementally better? If so, how far do they have to go.?

Well, about the WW2 D-bar…

*One of the earliest of these culinary offensives occurred in the midst of World War II, when the U.S. Army commissioned research into the creation of a chocolate that soldiers could eat on the go.

The bar wasn’t set very high, though, and the army captain who oversaw the project had only four requirements for the military chocolate: that it weigh only about four ounces, be able to withstand high temperatures, have high food energy and taste “just a little better than a boiled potato.”*

This one seems to be better than that, at least.

IIRC the WW2 “tropical bars” were mostly dried fruit and nuts, with only a small amount of chocolate mixed in.

Tastes good is way different from being creamy in the mouth, because it melts in your mouth. I can’t eat a Hershey bar, it has an awful waxy texture.

That chocolate melts at a temperature just below blood heat isn’t an inconvenient failing - it is one of the most significant aspects of its allure; melting in the mouth to create the silky mouthfeel and release the sugars, aromas and buttery fats. Chocolate that doesn’t melt is a stupid, stupid, stupid, pointless idea, like… I dunno… alcohol-free vodka.

And wax.

I don’t know, but I did eat some “Desert Storm” Hershey’s bars at that time and they were unfortunate.

There must have been something else, because we got something called “Jungle chocolate.” These were small cubes about the hardness of a diamond. You could not bite a piece off at all, cut it, mash it or do anything else that would permit you to eat it.

The only thing we did was sort of gnaw at it like a rat, using our front teeth to shave off little flakes. Nobody would do this except it was the only chocolate we had, and even though it tasted horrible, it was better than nothing.

At least it met one criteria: it would not melt in anything cooler than a blast furnace.

The cheap bulk chocolates available for holidays is so bad. It resembles eating chocolate only in a few points. It’s dark brown, smells vaugly of cocoa, and is a solid. I figured out as a kid that they were only useful as a brown crayon, and not much good for that. I supose you could melt them down for making candles.

Bleh. Chocolate is supposed to melt. One of the best parts of eating chocolate is licking the melted chocolate off your fingers after. Or some incredibly hot guy’s fingers. Or his chest, or stomach, or…uh…what were we talking about again?

tried one once. Sandra hit it right on the nose. very waxy.

*“CHOCOLATE: The Consuming Passion” was published in 1982, and is worth trying to find. It is quite witty and rather informative.

I remember, about 12-14 years ago watching the Discovery channel(i think) which was showing a ‘Beyond 2000’* type show where they would showcase tomorrow inventions today. Anyway the woman host had a khaki coat and was in simulated desert, she reaches in her coat pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar, unfortunately it’s all goopy, damn you the sun! It’s a good thing she’s really thinking ahead as she reaches into the other pocket and pulls out another chocolate bar, perfectly fine in the mid-Sahara. This chocolate bar was special, as all of the cocoa butter was contained in tiny little spheres which allowed the butter to melt without making the bar lose its nice bar-ness. I wonder what ever happened to this modern marvel of cocoa bliss.

*I also remember the male and female hosts absolutely fawning over a device could record onto a CD, in real time, in your very own home no less. It was an unwieldy large box, think two large VCRs stacked on top of each other, but it could do what professionals could do for thousands less! Today it seems silly and commonplace, but at the time amazing! Price: a mere $5000