I wonder if the results would be similar if the OP stipulated that you also had to answer any follow-ups, like “But Mommy and Daddy says God does exist.”
I mean, if nothing else, you might be concerned about what the parents would do to you, depending on what you think of people of that religion (or any religion, for that matter).
“They’re wrong. But don’t tell them you doubt God exists, or they’ll probably hate you and punish you.”
I think it would depend on the wording the child used, but it would be a combination of “I don’t believe in god”, “you should talk about this with your parents”(if I believed the parents were people who would discuss the issue fairly), “There is no evidence for the existence of a god, but many people believe different things, and what do you think/why do you ask?”
Sometimes kids just want to confirm something, like “true or false, some people don’t believe in god” and sometimes they need to discover/explore new ideas, so I’d gauge my response based on the way the question was asked and on the child’s response to my first answers.
“Look kid, they lied to you about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, remember?”
I am happy to enlighten your grasshopper. You are correct that deities are not of paramount importance in Buddhism. I’ve heard it phrased as 'They exist (or, they may exist) but they just aren’t that important".
My disclaimer was to address the word ‘Nonbeliever’ in the thread title. I am a technically a believer, in that I espouse a what many people consider a religion, although Buddhism lacks many of the attributes of most mainstream religions. I didn’t want Skald to release the acid-spitting bat-winged clone monkey army over a failure to disclose.
This is too much. Not all theistic parents get upset if their kids don’t believe. Mine didn’t. I’ve known plenty of atheists whose religious parents did not hate them or punish them for it.
There are obviously some who do, but I think those are the great exception.
This.
I work at a religious school and more often than not, the kids ask me about stuff where my personal view conflicts directly with the party line. Rather than saying a bunch of hooey I don’t believe, I usually engage the kids in discussion. “I dunno, what do you guys think about XYZ”.
For what it’s worth, kids are smart. Usually, if engaged in discussion, they come to the logical end themselves (whatever that might be).
I am a recently confessed atheist, but my wife and I are at peace with the issue. It’s already awkward though as my 4-year-old is starting to ask all sorts of questions. I find it rather anoying that people everywhere are teaching my kids that God and Santa are real. I will not teach the small children of believers that there is no God, and I’d appreciate if the believers would show the same respect.
Good answers, but my initial response would probably be “Why do you ask?” Partly because I’d be genuinely curious why any 9-year-old would ask me such a question, but also because his response might influence mine.
And I think that the ones who value their religion more than they value their child are the norm. I’m unwilling to lie to kids, but I’m also unwilling to send the child blind back to his parents, not realizing what he might be in for. What if it turns out his parents are the sort that send him off to one of those out-of-the-country religious camps where the kid will be starved and beaten until he praises Jesus?
Religion is barbaric, and it tends to produce barbaric behavior. That should always be kept in mind when dealing with believers.
For me it came up when I was taking my daughter, then about 9 or 10, and a friend trick or treating. The friend said something about being scared of the devil, and I blurted out that she shouldn’t worry, since there was no such thing. Then she asked about God.
I hope people realize that the parents have the kid all the time, and no assertion that no god exists, however emphatic, is going to be very useful. My answer - which is absolutely true - will do better in the long run.
The answer is totally different for my kids of course. My daughter’s opinion of her question was that it was sad that her friend still believed in fairy tales. But she was good about not giving the non-existence of Santa away also.
You really are giving us a bad name. First, even in the unlikely event that your ranting is going to have any effect on the kid (and religion is good at indoctrination at least) at the best you’d sentence him to an extra round of Sunday school and at worst the camp you mentioned - which is not exactly used by a majority of believers.
Second, you seem to be assuming that the parents are lying to the kid. They most likely truly believe what they are saying. They also very likely believe that religious indoctrination is in the kid’s best interest. They believe in the hellfire crap, we just believe that having religion is wasting a bunch of Sundays.
Third, and you don’t get this not being a parent, but when nothing directly harmful is going on it is not a good idea to get between a parent and a child. If any evangelists tried to push their crap on my kids before they were old enough to laugh in the faces of preachers they’d get serious shit from me. Let’s just give the kid a hint - there is plenty of time for him to find the facts later.
I’ve actually faced this exact situation, but I was teaching about Hinduism at the time, in particular their concept of avatars and Krishna. One of them asked me if Krishna actually existed. As I recall I replied that it was what Hindus believed.
My 10-year-old, who is currently an ostensible, batized, practicing Catholic going to a Catholic school, has in the last year or so become increasingly interested in Hinduism, Hindu deities, and Hindu mythology. I think she finds it more entertaining and engaging than Catholicism.
My brothers 4 year old daughter is asking about that at times. She asked if I believe in Jesus. When I said no she started talking about how only believers in Jesus get to go to heaven and what a nice guy Jesus is. I’m sure she’ll get the lecture about all non-christians and hell soon too.
So I don’t know how to handle it. Let my brothers kids be tormented with delusions of me going to hell, or lie and pretend to believe in Jesus so she doesn’t have to worry someone she cares about is going to be tortured.
I never really gave much of a damn about religion. But I know my brother’s kids are going to be told by religious figures that I (as a non-believer) am going to be tortured for all eternity for not believing in their religion if I talk about my non belief with them. Not letting me into heaven, I am ok with that. But they are going to be told that people like me (agnostics) are going to hell on top of it.
I’m with Daniel Dennett, we should mandate an objective study of all religions in schools. Explain what they believe, arguments, counterarguments, etc. This issue bothers me.
For under 10 yr olds, definitely “Discuss this with your parents.”
If they were in their early teens, then I’d encourage them to think for themselves, though in wishy washy terms that didn’t sound like I was pushing my own beliefs on them.
I’d ask them why they’re asking. If it’s not because someone just died/is dying, I’d tell them the truth.
I voted for the first one, although I wouldn’t be so pompous in my phrasing. I’d probably just stick with “God isn’t real, kid. Do you wanna know how I know?” and if he/she does, I’ll lay it all out for him, specially tailored for his parent’s faith, be that Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Shinto, New Age… I’m an equal-opportunity little anti-theist.
Who’s “us”? Not “atheists”, because that’s a set that includes me, and I don’t agree. So who?
I think you and **DT **may differ on what constitutes “direct harm”, no? I say this as a parent. One who’s going to answer his own daughter’s first God question exactly as he would a friend’s kid.
Lying or deluded, by definition. And they will lie, if it serves the faith. The typical believer has no principles at all on anything that serves the faith; look at all the parents who let Catholic priests get away with molesting their children. For most believers, the welfare of their children is a distant second to their religion; they’ll do much worse than lie.
Actually, no; once people are thoroughly religiously indoctrinated as a child their judgement is generally permanently crippled. That’s the whole point of indoctrinating them while young and defenseless, and shielding them from any hint that there is any other point of view; to warp them to the point they cannot unwarp themselves.
DT, I think maybe you should double-check the meanings of “typical” and “most”, or perhaps your blood sugar.
Also, don’t parent other peoples’ children. It’s rude.