Since my wife and kids are Quaker, I pretty much AM paying lip service to it; except I’m not. I do respect their values and their take on the whole thing and I truly wish more flavors of Christianity could be more like them. The whole Evangelical thing makes me want to bomb megachurches.
I’d pick scientology, it’ has alien spaceships and shit.
Yeah, I’ve heard from some Methodists that my experience is atypical. I come from an extended family full of Methodist ministers, and they’re basically all super-progressive feminist community activists who believe that gay marriage should be accepted by the church, and would be loath to tell anyone else that their religion is not the path to God, because there are likely many paths. (My mom, on the other hand… well. Let’s just say she was definitely on the other hand.)
Plus, in contrast to the devout Polish Catholics on my dad’s side, they’re practically neo-pagans. But they do definitely believe that there *is *a God, just one, and I’m pretty sure they think Jesus was more than just a nice guy with some interesting ideas. That said, it’s never actually come up.
I’ve never known any Baha’is that well, so I actually have no mileage, varying or otherwise, but if that’s the case, then they’re off my list. You hear that Bahai’s? If you’re homophobic, then you’re no longer a contender on the list of religions I would join rather than face death in this completely imaginary scenario. I’m taking my hypothetical worship elsewhere! So there!
Of course I’d go with Hinduism - it really wouldn’t be that hard to step back into it, and there’s a local temple and everything. When you mean services, though, OP, what do you mean? How often? Once a week I can do. No more.
Hinduism. It’d make my mother happy and it’s the only religion (other than Unitarian Christianity) which has respect for other faiths as a basic tenet.
To clarify (in case any Baha’i are reading): I wasn’t suggesting all Baha’i are homophobic, just the ones I happened to meet.
http://images.google.com/images?q=Baha'i+temples&oe=utf-8&rls=com.google:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=u4jUSpCNKovClAejpsipCg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CCAQsAQwAw
We have cool temples all over the world! 
Wow! No kidding!
So, if I may ask (as per my earlier comments), in your experience, how does the Baha’i faith deal with homosexuality in practice? I certainly don’t think, and didn’t mean to imply, that E. Thorp’s experiences are representative of the general sentiment of most Bahai’s or the actual tenets of the religion.
But if they are…! [waggles finger menacingly] Off the list!
OK, I’m sufficiently menaced! I henceforth renounce my homophobia! (J/K! I am not a homophobe!)
There are two schools of thought I have on this: (but first, let me say that while I’ve met thousands of other Baha’is at Summer Schools and such, I’ve never met one that was openly homophobic).
One: only Baha’is are bound by the laws of the faith. We don’t expect non-Baha’is to obey our laws any more than orthodox Jews expect Christians to keep kosher!
Two: I often say (only half-jokingly) that I call myself ‘a practicing Baha’i’ because I’m not very good at it yet! . There’s all kinds of stuff that the laws prescribe that I don’t do. I drink alcohol. I gossip. Sometimes I backbite. Some days I don’t wash my feet! (Yeah, it’s a real law, in the Holy Book; Baha-u-llah seemed to have a cleanliness fixation. . .). But it’s OK. For one thing, the God I believe in is merciful and forgiving. For another thing, I’ll get more opportunity to perfect myself spiritually in the next world.
I don’t know how an openly practicing homosexual would be perceived by any given Baha’i community. The widespread legalization of gay marriage may help, as the laws about sex outside of marriage seem to have much stricter penalties than the practice of homosexuality. I know a lot of Baha’is right now who say “If gay marriage were legal, I wouldn’t have any problem with an openly gay couple joining our community. If they’re legally married, well, what’s the problem?”
OK, I could go all philosophical on you here, but I’m loath to hijack the thread more.
In fact, I sent you a PM about all this, so I wouldn’t hijack the thread to begin with.
Fail.
Liberal Christianity. United Church of Christ.
Assuming I completely chicken out and apostatize my atheism (and if I didn’t, I’d be pulling a mean dodge on the thread premise), I think I’d be least likely to want to punch out Quakers. From everything I’ve heard, they’re pretty tolerant, caring people.
Hey, they let atheists in NOW.
Either Shinto or UU, depending on how goofy I felt that day.
Which reminds that I really should take a comparative religion class that isn’t sponsored by a church. (Christian comparative religion = this is what they do that isn’t Christian and thus they’re WRONG and going to hell. =e.e= Even when I was Christian I thought that was stupid, which I suppose is yet more proof that I was never a devoted Christian)
I had a couple of comparative or otherwise non-Christian religion or philosophy courses in high school and college (both Catholic), and I never saw that attitude.
Guess I’d molder away in prison. Maybe people could protest on my behalf?
On the other hand, from what the 2nd of the 3 loves of my life told me, they’re less accepting of gays than some.
Catholicism. Gotta go with the classics.
Fool of a Took! “Going with the classics” would clearly mean you were worshipping Zeus & company!
I’m looking for something big on holidays and gifts, not so much attendance.
You’d have to put me down as Taoist as well. It’s the closest thing I can find to a real Jedi relilgion.
See post 69 for my own (Baha’i) perspective on this.