If your child (either real or hypothetical) became religious later in his/her life would you disown him/her? Would you only disown your child if your child was a religious fundamentalist or if they were verbally abusive with their religion or if they actually used violence?
This is inspired by the real life case of Madalyn Murray O’Hair who disowned her son after he became a Christian calling him “beyond human forgiveness” and “a post-natal abortion”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madalyn_Murray_O%27Hair
By “disown” do you mean literally disown, i.e. cut out of the will, or metaphorically disown, i.e., cut off contact with/withdraw affection from? Because while I don’t ever see myself metaphorically disowning my child, I might literally disown them if I had reason to believe that my money would be turned over to an organization I disliked intensely. This would not include all churches, but it would include some, for sure. I can also imagine a few non-churches that would make the list. I would not feel obligated to tell a child about this.
When I said “people I know” I meant as in people that I actually know personally. There are people in my family who would disown me if they knew I was an atheist, for example. As if it matters, they’re all like great-grandparents by marriage or whatever so it isn’t like they owned me to begin with. I don’t find it hard to believe that an atheist might disown a religious child. Assholes exist across all peoples.
I meant the latter since some parents may not decide to give money to their child in order for them to work hard and succeed by themselves or because they think the child is financially irresponsible while still loving them.
I voted yes but misunderstood the question. I want to change my vote to “Yes, but only if they became violent”. Actually religious wouldn’t be a dis-qualifier. Joining any type of violent organization would do.
The important aspect is often not “what do you believe”, but “how do you believe it”.
Not that I have any kids or anything, but if I did, I suspect their religion wopuldn’t matter, but their behaviour would. If they tried to hurt people, that would be a problem, no matter what their religion.
(This is why I wish dating sides could sort members’ religious aspects by enthusiasm rather than creed…)
I have no children and don’t plan to have any, but if my child became Fundamentalist in any religion, I would feel deeply disappointed if they started just believing and stopped thinking, and lost all tolerance for other people’s beliefs.
No. I’m a hard atheist, and my 12 year-old goes to church and I support him in it. This makes me happy, that makes him happy. I’ve seen my oldest boys go from child believers to young adult agnostics, though, so I do hold out hope for him to become a heathen.
I rather suspect that if my hypothetical child became severely religious,* they* would cut off contact with me; I’d have no say in it.
I have friends and family of all sorts of religious persuasions and I’m fine with all of them, but only the one who’s joined the Assemblies of God mega-church thinks less of me for my views and acts like I’m somehow slightly less clean. (Even my Jehovah’s Witness family member doesn’t think that I’m innately immoral just because I’m atheist… though she does fear deeply for my soul and occasionally tries to ‘reason’ with me.)
Funnily enough, I have no problems with the rest of my friends - and they really do represent a *very *wide range of religious beliefs … but the fundamentalist Christians definitely have trouble tolerating the existence of atheists - even quiet, non-militant atheists. And they’re incredibly cliquey - it’s like anyone outside their church is less worthy of their time. It’s actually a very arrogant and prideful attitude, which would be kind of funny if it wasn’t so disappointing when it comes from a friend.
I was torn between “Yes But Only If They Became Violent (ie Christian militia or Al Qaeda)” and “No” so I picked “Unsure”.
I don’t know how things will go if/when I have kids, but I predict that their growth will be typical, and when they start getting curious about religion (because let’s face it: It’s shoved in their face a bit no matter what country they’ll be living in) I’ll be honest with them. I’ll tell them what I am (Atheist). I’ll tell them why I am what I am. I’ll tell them why I believe quite strongly that there is no such thing as god. If they openly refuse to believe me I’ll respect that, and suggest to them that we should agree to disagree without it hurting our relationship.
That would pretty fucked up, I would not disown my children even they turned into ax murderers. One of my sons is a Christian, we don’t sit around and make fun of him just because he is making a stupid choice.
No, but I would make my decisions regarding the amount of contact i would want with them accordingly. If they can keep the god out of the conversation then i see no reason to limit or exclude them from contact in my life. If they can’t then I’ll have to content myself with the occasional letter or some such, I suppose. Of course I might literally write them out of a will to prevent money from going to an unworthy cause.
My kids are already baptized, church-going, Catholic school believers. They don’t know I’m an atheist, but I tell them frequently that they’re allowed to believe whatever they want, question whatever they want and change their minds whenever they want. I also encourage them to learn about other religions (my oldest is very intrigued by Hindu polytheism) and seek as much information as they can. It’s all about how they treat people, not what they believe metaphysically. Those beliefs will probably change throughout their lives anyway.
My son told me from the backseat once that God created people and loves them. When I asked him where he heard that, he said he’d known it since he was born. Who am I to question something that at 4 year old, he’d known since birth? ;p
I suspect Bites is correct, anyway- as has been my experience with my staunch Baptist relatives, I am the one viewed with the distate rather than the other way around. I couldn’t care less what someone chooses to believe.
Even if he were a violent, murdering, judgemental fundamentalist, my kid would still be my kid. To “disown” someone may be an emotionally significant act but I will ultimately always be that child’s mother whether I deny it or not. And I hope I will never want to deny it. I think I would view that as a failure on my part in many ways, independent of religion.
On reading the wiki article linked in the OP, I think that Murray-O’Hair does not in any way typify a normal parent.
No, they are my theoretical child, and I love them enough to want them to be happy. I don’t believe in a single diety, but if they do, that is fine with me. I would be a tad upset if they turned fundie anything, or one of the cults where they brainwash one like Khoresh, or those alien cults, or Jim Jones.
I don’t find it hard to believe that an atheist might disown a religious child. Assholes exist across all peoples.