Fuck you. I just spent a miserable evening trying to fill in the last few blanks in the tax worksheet our accountant sent us. The snatchsniffing thing is 23 fucking pages long. 23 pages. 23 pages so he can make sure we get all the little tax credits and writeoffs and breaks we deserve here in the Cranky household. And I do it, too. I hunch over the goddamned migraine-inducing thing and rifle through a million little receipts and 1099-DIVs and W-2s and I scratch in all those little numbers because by fucking god, we need all the help we can get.
Hello? Does it have to be this way? Yes, I understand it’s all well and good to write a special little law when you’ve judged that solar panels on yurts built in states that end in “a” are a good thing for this country and so anyone who invests in a solar-powered yurt built in a state that ends in “A” should get an incentive in the form of a writeoff. I am capable of understanding that this helps you all accomplish some things you want to happen in the economy. Reward homeownership. Encourage retirement savings. Pat people on the head for that united way contribution. But enough! By the time you write the loopholes and the extra regulations to close the loopholes and the little add ons for this thing and that thing, we’re sitting here with paperwork up to my clavicle! We’re fucking miserable over here! Christ, I think I’d gladly put up with a little unfairness (should I say, a little MORE unfairness) if you could just clean the process up. Fuck the yurts, fuck the solar panels, fuck the accountants, can’t you just make it make sense? I don’t think I’d give a rat’s ass if Warren Buffett and Bill fucking Gates didn’t pay a dime next year. Just make it so I can fill the goddamn form out.
Four days a week, I spend an hour in Income Tax class, going over the codes. I feel your pain. Tomorrow we start the section on capital gains. From what I’ve read already, it’s gonna be a royal pain in the ass.
Classmate asked me today if I’d signed up for the tax clinic in the fall. Oh, how I laughed…
Wow. I have a really hard time believing everyone spends so much time on their taxes. Takes me a couple hours, at the most. I write down my income for my job. I subtract my deductions. I look up what percentage I owe. I write down my capital gains, the computer figures out how much I owe on that and automatically subtracts my capital losses.
As long as all my stuff is organized, it’s easy as pie. Then again, I have no dependents, no spouse, no house or mortgage, no car, and no on-the-side heroin business.
If George wants to give us a tax break, I think he should do it in a way that makes it so we have less to fill out on our tax forms. They can stop taxing my saving account interest payments for a start. Damn greedy bastards.
And also I want to know exactly what my money bought. If my tax dollars bought a 2 inch section of titanium armored plate on an M1A3 tank I want little reports on how my tank is doing.
Get a CPA like absoul recommended. When hubby was self-employed, we used one and it was worth the $250 for her to do our taxes for us. Plus, we could write off her fee next year.
Use http://www.turbotax.com. I used it this year and last and you wouldn’t believe how idiot proof they make this. They do the figures for you; you just input the information. It’s great.
Hope you get money back to make up for all that work.
Great suggestions, folks. But note the opening sentence! We have a CPA. It’s not the fucking tax forms I have to deal with, it’s the numerous worksheets we fill out so his firm can process it correctly and get everything we have coming to us. We supply the numbers, he does the crunching to figure out what scenario is best.
And BTW, we have a dependent, child care costs, a mortgage, a home business, royalty income, investments that we sell to live off of… all that garbage. Believe me, I don’t care to do our taxes myself. My time is much better spent on other things. Dennis has been my husband’s accountant for years before we got married, and ours together ever since.
I’ve gotta admit. I’d pay more in taxes if the government threw in this service.
Cranky, I don’t think your accountant is taking care of you properly. Bill Seth, my accountant, doesn’t have me do all that. I simply take all the tax related mail I get, toss it in a box, when I’ve gotten all of it I mail the box to Bill. Some years I don’t even open the stuff. Bill has his little tax elves open, sort, and prepare everything. All he asks is that I notify him of major changes (new babies, houses, etc) during the course of the year.
When the elves are done I get my completed forms in the mail. All I ever have to do is sign and mail them. I also get my copy in a professional clear-plastic binder for my files.
All that for $250 and free advice during the year. Since I, too, have house, kids, cap gains, home business, etc…I think it’s money well spent.
Wow! My taxes just take me about 15 minutes. Of course, I only have one income, no investments, and take the standard deduction plus the student loan interest deduction, but…
It’s not that hard for me.
I don’t want to abolish it, I would like it to be made somewhat close to useful (ok, useful for me, if I must expand the sentence out.) The money it “saved” me is slightly less than two weeks’ interest on my loans. (Which, when compared to the money paid in interest, not to mention the money paid on principal, is negligible.) Basically, I’m pissed at them getting my hopes up with the words “Student Loan Interest Deduction” and then crushing them with the pathetic little amount.
I used Turbo Tax myself (online version), and I have to agree with BunnyGirl, it is indeed idiot proof. Of course, I couldn’t do the e-signature (had to send in a sig form instead). For that, they want your previous year’s tax info-- HA! Like I know where I “filed” it!
(Ok, I knew where it was supposed to be, but lo and behold, everything but my copy of my return was there… damned if I know where it went.)
What I like about Turbo Tax is that it screens your return for errors and potential audit triggers. Downside is I couldn’t claim my cat, my ferrets, or the three brine shrimp in my Ecosphere as dependents.