I’m not sure I’d consider this a hijack at all. It’s all part of the machine called bureaucracy. But I think in our case it’s a slightly different thing than just trying to bleed the folks dry. You see, the part of the city I’m in is just starting to be commercially developed. A big supermarket and about five little stores have just gone in two blocks down from me (oh, and a Chik-fil-A, too). Our attorney says the city’s been going after a lot of folks from my area who have minor infracitons; his guess is that the city wants to buy these houses up for development. Of course, a one thousand dollar property code violation turns into a lien against the house, which makes it cheaper for the city to buy it when the time comes. It’s just his guess, but given the fuss made in the past couple of years over some peeling paint that can’t be seen from the street, the number of times we’ve been cited for high weeds the minute the ones against the house reach 12", etc. makes me feel like it might be true. I told hubby if he really wants to drive Fucky Chucky crazy, he should go out every three days, and keep the weeds on the side trimmed to between 11" and 11.5". Anything under 12" is not a code violation! 
Now things make a touch more sense. You’ll always have asshat inspectors who love to focus on minutae because they can, but adding the scent of money to the equation tends to kick it up a notch or two.
Maybe we can all line up next month, drop trou, and create a Dopermoon Rises over Cumberland moment. Mail a picture of that to your friends at City Hall. 
Is there a minimum length? Cuz if not, what’s to prevent you from mowing the shit down to an inch every time it gets to about 11.75"? “Ooh, yes, tomorrow I get to write them up!” ::comes back the next day:: ::sees 1" weeds:: “Screw you guys, I’m going home!”
Immediate family have neighbors similar to your dilemna. They are evidently sufficiently bored that they will call the town if we don’t mow our lawn often enough for their tastes. We’ve actually been threatened with “We’ll come mow it for you and charge” before. Their lawn, of course, makes Better Homes and Gardens look lazy. Some day maybe they will discover the joy of Not Bothering Other People; until then, the lawn is mowed at least as often as the Town Council calls and threatens to come with their Lawn Mower of Doom.
Yet another wonderful idea! Because, no, there is no minimum height for weeds (but, they could add one at any minute :rolleyes: ). There is, believe it or not, a trash can rule. Your trash can(s) cannot go out before 9PM the night of pickup, and must be brought back in before 9AM. People all up and down my street violate this one all the time, but as it carries a very small fine, I don’t think the city bothers.
danceswithcats, so far, your idea is the one that brings me the most joy! Unfortunately, the police in this sleepy little burg do have the time to track down the folks who do such things, and will do so! I’m afraid I’d find myself back in court! Aaaaagggghhhh!
What? They have an ordinance prohibiting moonery? Possession of a hiney with intent to flaunt? :eek: Hmmm. So the police would try to track everybody down, eh? [Sgt. Friday voice] Recognize any of the fannies, Ma’am? Take your time. [/voice] Cue the music: Bum, bum bum bum.
The previous post had me laughing at the thought of the photo caption: L to R front row-norinew, ultrafilter, Opal Cat, danceswithcats, nyctea scandiaca, iampunha
What surprises me, norinew, is that a relatively small burg like Cumberland would have such convoluted (and harrassing) bureaucracy. It can’t take that many votes to get elected to City Council (or whatever they have there), and it sounds like they’re unintentionally greasing the skids for somebody’s “throw the bastards out” campaign.
Hey, it could even be your campaign!
It surprises me that they could get away with not telling you it was the back porch until at the hearing. I would expect they’ve got at least some obligation to tell you what you were being charged with, when they told you that there was going to be a hearing. Might be worth your while to see what notification is required, and see if it’s not too late to demand a new hearing on those grounds. An hour’s worth of research might get your $250 back, who knows?
I have lived in Maryland my whole life and I have never heard of such a thing. I realize Cumberland has fallen on hard times over the last couple of decades with Kelly, Fairchild, etc leaving but to stoop so low as to do something like what happened to you is mind boggling.
Oh wait! Ehrlich promised he wouldn’t raise taxes.
What, you want me to STAY STILL with my ass nekkid? Nah, dude. You need two pictures: one with me on one side, other with me on the opposite side. Running in both of them.
[sub]Didn’t develop the running nekkid skill for nuthin…[/sub]
Get ready for “Eminent Domain”
Wait a doggone minute.
You were fined $250 because your back porch needed painting? I would have told them to buy the paint and the rollers and knock themselves out. Unless it’s a health hazard (is your porch painted with lead paint?) they could go hang. My house, my mortgage, I decide when and if it’s painted. That is ridiculous nickel- and-diming bullshit that should not be tolerated.
If you want to move, we don’t have such silly laws in my neck of the woods. YMMV, of course.
Hey, you don’t want me running for office. . .I’m a conservative! 
Anyway, I’ve seen the job, and I don’t want it! But the thing is, I don’t think the people behind the city ordinances are bastards. I think they’re well-intentioned, but misguided. The thinking goes like this: in all the prosperous cities, the houses look good, neat, well-maintained. If we want to attract high-class populace and industry, we’d better look like the prosperous cities! Of course, it doesn’t work that way. The only high-paid professionals in Cumberland, for the most part, are the doctors and lawyers, they live on the north end of town where the houses already look good. What you have here on the south end of town is folks like us who wouldn’t mind fixing up the place but don’t have the money, and renters whose landlords live out of town and don’t give a damn. Hubby’s got a line on a good-paying job (hoping it will start around Nov. 1), and as soon as we can afford to get out of here, we’re doing it! This is because hubby figures that if he has to commute to work out of town anyway, he might as well commute from someplace where he can live the way he wants, not kiss the ass of some building code inspector!
Don’t worry, 'punha. You keep right on running; we’ll just photo-shop you in!
Well, the deal is, if we don’t take care of it (and no, it’s not lead paint), they will, and then they’ll bill us for the work! Sucks, don’t it?
Not me, babe. You folks have too many freakin’ hurricanes!!
Yes, but then you don’t have to worry about some twit in a suit bitching about your unpainted back porch. The oak tree that’s landed smack dab in the middle of your living room will have priority. And you don’t even get a fined for that, either!!
Hell, he doesn’t even wear a suit! He’s not even a full-time employee. He works 30 hours a week! Problem is, he’s as addicted as the heroin addicts up on the avenue; difference is, he joneses for power!
If he’s going behind your house to inspect your porch, isn’t he trespassing? I mean, he’s not a meter reader and he’s not coming to deliver a warrant. He’s coming to inspect something that is not easily seen from the street. Is he even allowed to do that?
Having spent 5 years in the area I used to know Cumberland relatively well. I still miss that dirty book store near the good will downtown.
Heh.
Have you considered writing to the Cumberland Times-News?
No, because he’s the housing code inspector. It’s his job to make sure the houses inside city limits are up to code. It’s quite possible that our nutball neighbor actually reported us for the paint on the back porch, since it’s visible from her house.
Oh, you mean Kline’s? They also sell “adult novelties” and have a pawn shop right next door. Personally, I’d never buy a vibrator from someone who owns a pawn shop, too; you could never tell where it’s been! (All together, now: eeeewwwww!)
Y’know, if he doesn’t lay off soon, it may be an option.
As a hijack, I think things on this board are screwy with the new servers and stuff (I’m not complaining, just commenting). One of my posts shows that it was posted at 9:08 PM. I dunno, maybe the new servers are just so fast they’re actually posting things in the freakin’ future
I’m sorry for my denseness, but this doesn’t make any sense. “Up to code” means not a health hazard, right? Not falling apart, with water and electricty and flush toilets? How is a back porch that needs a coat of paint not “up to code?”
As for the nutball neighbor, start planting some tall hedges. Unless, of course, they’re the wrong color of green or they get too many yellow leaves on them in the summer, in which case you may face another fine. And Og forbid the wrong butterfly comes by to pollinate the flowers. :rolleyes: