Normal amount of wine for an afternoon....

In My Humble Opinion
21

The normal amount is somewhere in the vicinity of one drink a day, or less. 3-4 is certainly enough to take notice of. That said, though, response to alcohol can vary widely from person to person, depending on body weight, accumulated tolerance, and just plain random chance. So it’s possible that, for him, that amount isn’t excessive.

The real question is, is it causing him any problems? It’s as simple as that: Problem drinking is drinking that causes problems, no matter how much it is. His health is apparently still good, and he’s not driving anyway, so those are two potential problems ruled out. How does he treat his loved ones? Is he in control of his emotions?

22

Generally, yes, excessive. But if it’s not a school night and one wants to get shitfaced, then they are on their way.

I also think 3-4 drinks on an average day is excessive. I think an overall average of 0.25 a day is normal for me.

I am 55 and in my college days could drink 10+ before considering not driving, and still be safe. One has to know their limits. 3 drinks for one is not the same for another. Must be the
Russian side of my blood.

23

He’s 80 and in fairly good health? Then nothing is going to change.

My father is 83. He lives on his own, after his second wife died a couple of years ago. His first wife also died, nearly 30 years ago (that’s gotta be tough, losing two spouses).

He has some mobility problems, but, aside from some trouble with short-term memory, is in pretty good mental health. He reads and understands complex issues, keeps up with the news, and the family. His heart and lungs, according to his doctor, are in pretty good shape for a man his age.

He doesn’t drive (never has - he’s never had a driver’s license in his life).

He has two drinks a night. Big drinks, bigger than I’d be comfortable with. His two drinks would definitely be three for me, maybe four. He never drinks before 5:00. He never drinks anything but those two drinks. No wine, no beer, just the two whiskies. If I’m at his place, I’ll join him for one drink, but mine are quite a bit smaller than his.

It doesn’t have much of anything in the way of noticeable effect on him. Maybe he gets a bit sleepy by the end of the night, that’s all.

Am I going to take that away from him? It doesn’t seem to have done, or be doing, him any harm. It makes him feel better. What’s the point in giving him a hard time about it?

If someone is over 80, and it’s working for him, and he’s not getting incoherent, or unpleasant, or falling down, leave it alone, that’s my advice. Of course, everyone’s situation is different.

24

Someone better do an intervention or he’ll never make the Olympic track team!

25

That was my thought. It’s not like he’s going to drink himself into an early grave. Unless he gets abusive or puts other people in danger, it sounds like a golden opportunity to MYOB.

26

I would call it a little excessive but since its his home and I presume he wasn’t driving later in the day, not horribly so.

27

This. ^^^

Are there problems? Then he should cut back. Are there no problems? Carry on as you were.

28

He’s 80. Are you worried he’s going to ruin the rest of his life or something?

29

Incomplete. He conveniently left out “…or die trying”, which seems ever more…funny. :smiley:

30

I kind of forgot about this part. Anybody with eight decades behind them is NOT going to change their habits. If he’s not the kind of person who turns into an asshole when he drinks, then count your blessings and let him do his thing.

31

Stop there. No, definitely not excessive.

32

I would be extremely concerned about someone documenting the intake of another adult at a holiday gathering.

33

To answer some of the comments. My wife and her sister (sister spent Easter out of town) always wonder how much their father will drink, and if he’ll embarrass them.

No, his drinking has not caused any problems with driving or his job (when he worked). But like I said, you never know when he will say something to embarrass them (buzzed or sober). He has absolutely no filter. A boring, self absorbed narcissist. They consider it almost torturous visiting him.

My wife even used the word alcoholic after spending a week with him on a Christmas getaway vacation. So, yes, it bothers them and don’t like being around it. That’s why, when they visit, it’s at lunch time and not later in the afternoon.

Just explaining.

34

A bottle a day is too much. But he’s 80 and so it matters not one whit. His personality is a different matter.

35

I agree with those who say that if it’s normal for him and it’s not causing problems, it’s fine. My father is also 80 and has had a glass or two of wine every night for as long as I can remember (I’m 44). On a holiday, he cooks a big meal, with four or five courses, often for 10-15 people. We’ll sit at the table for four to five hours, lingering over those courses, then dessert and coffee. In those hours, he will definitely have more than a couple glasses of wine. Worst case scenario, he nods off a bit toward the end of the day. Which, honestly, I think might happen even without the wine, after all that cooking and company.

36

Sounds like it is a bit of a problem. Probably one you can do nothing about, except, as they are doing. I made it a habit to never call my father after about 7:00 p.m. if I wanted a normal conversation or one that he would remember. (and before 6:00 p.m. he was often obnoxious and sober. You have to aim to hit that sweet spot after his first martini,but before his third.)

37

in vino [del]veritas[/del] inheritas