Nocturne,
I’ll be coming back Sunday, July 8. Gotta be back in the cotton fields on Monday morning. We planning another BamaDope?
Please say ‘yes.’
Oh no, don’t get me wrong here, it is a fine addition to the Union. I just feel that I am not worthy to share in its treasures and benefits (read: you can keep it, because even though I am from New Jersey, I have seen far better and would rather live there).
It really is a fine addition, whether it’s North or South. 
Tripler
No comment.
I didn’t save the website I got this from, but I seem to remember that average grade school teachers’ salaries from like 1997 were something in the vicinity of $17,000 to $19,000.
A year.
And Nocturne, since the chief exports of Canada are cold, snow, and hockey players, and NoDak doesn’t have enough to sustain even itself . . .
Wait, wait, wait…we have NORTH Dakota now? How long has this been going on, and why wasn’t I informed?
North Dakota…new name…hmmm…what about ‘Kenneth’? It’s a strong name, but it can also be very familiar. I like that.
Maybe ‘Kyle’ or ‘Sammy’? Is North Dakota a masculine noun? If not, perhaps ‘Wendy’ or ‘Jessica’.
If we are looking for non-gender-specific names, maybe we could look at ‘Chris’ or ‘Pat’.
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*Originally posted by Tripler *
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Have you tried wiring a piece of cardboard between the grille and radiator?
Hey, North Dakota can call itself West Minnesota if it wants to. I don’t mind. Or probably East Montana, but you’d have to check with Lindy Hooper or Jodi about that.
If they really think that they need the name change as a serious “economic development initiative”, maybe they should seek a corporate sponsorship for the state, like sports stadia do.
Get ready for the state of…Dodge Dakota!
Or “Bob.” When Nunavut split from the Northwest Territories, there was some thought that the NWT should be re-named. They had a survey on the Internet. “Bob” (spelt and pronounced the same in both of Canada’s official languages) was a front-runner.
They kept with the “Northwest Territories.”
I wouldn’t go that far, Tripler. Sometimes I think it’s like living in the Third World, but it has a certain Cro-Magnon charm.
<<<Quote from Nocturne: “On the subject of North Dakota, though, couldn’t we just donate them to Canada?”
A Fargo accent mixed with a Canadian accent? Ufda, Eh?
I know that it’s part of the singlemost powerful Superpower on the planet, but why is it that every time I leave work for the day, someone plays the closing theme to “Little House on the Prairie”. It’s freaky I tell ya. . .
Tripler
Miles and miles of nuthin’. Absolutely nuthin’.
Oohhhh! I found a pretty cool picture of North Dakota in January: here.
Is my depth perception going whack???
OK, I fell for it.
You suck.
What about Cuba del Norte?
If North and South Dakota won’t go to war over this by themselves, then it’s up to us to instigate said war.
Tripler, I’m asking you to provide a first strike. Get a bunch of your fellow soldiers together, grab some Harleys, and tool on down to Sturgis. When you’re there, begin some covert ops – you know, paint “South Dakota sucks!” on a cow, leave some pamphlets of South Dakota jokes lying around, maybe leave a bag of flaming cow shit on the governor’s doorstep and ring the doorbell. And push over a few Harleys on your way out, just to rub their noses in it.
Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, and Montana will start the playground teasing. “Neener neener neener, you can’t beat North Dakota! You’re the LESSER Dakota!” Eventually, South Dakota will be goaded into attacking, at which point the already-prepared North Dakotans can easily win the war.
Then we can continue on our future goals of reuniting West Virginia with Real Virginia, and blend the Carolinas into one state. (Once we do that, we’re prepared for our final goal – cross-breeding Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond. American politics will never be the same.)
Don’t they only have to e-mail tubadiva and she will change their name? Didn’t they read the rules before entering statehood?
So maybe they can now be Chicken of Bristol.
What if they go the way of sports arenas and become
Pepsi Dakota or better yet Microsoft Dakota?
I would in a heartbeat! I also do like the numbers: With current projections, we’re outnumbered by 115 thousand. I know this doesn’t mean much, but considering the fact that we’re defending, current doctrine recommends a 3:1 advantage when attacking a prepared defense. Add to the fact that that I know we have nukes. . .
But you are asking me to stand up and take offensive action for a state that I don’t want to be in and/or around. It’s like me taking a stand for the New York Rangers - it ain’t gonna happen.
Tripler
I may be nuts, but I do have principles.
No, that’s the beauty of it! You can provoke the war and then flee to Minnesota before the exchange of nuclear weapons. South Dakota’s got their fair share of 'em too - and the end result? The great plains are now nuked down to bedrock. We send in the Marines to paint some parking stripes on them, and we’ve got a huge parking lot for the spillover from Vikings games.
That’s just a win-win situation, isn’t it?
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*Originally posted by LNO *
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Dude,
At those distances, I have almost a whole 4 minutes to evac. I’m crazy, but I’m not stupid. But on the other hand, a protracted war would be kinda cool. But that would mean Civil war, and I would be forced to take part in supressing it, or at least keeping it to a minimum. That means I’ll be at ground zero. But what the hell. If Jesse Ventura would egg South Dakota to take us on, I guess it would be worth it! 
Tripler
Let’s go SoDak! You all SUCK!!