The young associate professor that works in my lab hasn’t been in today. He tends to keep odd hours, but we usually end up seeing him around noon for lunch.
“Does Dr. G have clinic today?”
“Nope. He sees patients on Thursdays. Maybe he went moonlighting last night and over slept.”
After lunch, I checked for new emails and there was one from Dr. G.
Hello All,
I am very sorry that I was a no-show this am. I am really embarrassed to admit this but I had a bit of a now funny health issue this morning. Went over a friends house early to help out with something and believe it or not accidentally sprayed myself in the face with mace!! Could hardly see or breathe for several hours (I have asthma). Pretty embarrassing. Anyway, I am better now (still a bit wheezy - but improving). I have a race later this afternoon so I am going to try to get ready for that. I have clinic tomorrow am but will be there in the afternoon
:eek:
This is the most unusual excuse I have ever laid eyes on. Did this “friend” expect him at their house early in the morning? How do you spray yourself in the face with mace? Should I keep him away from the nasty chemicals and radiation now?
He called in after I posted. Apparently, he was at this friend’s house and needed some light. Found what he thought was a flash light, turned one end toward his face, and hit the “switch.”
No clue why he’s sharing all of this. Its amusing as hell - and makes me wonder what the standards are for med school these days.
I once accidentally sprayed OVEN CLEANER in my face :eek: so I know how accidents like that can happen.
Also, my husband and his buddy were testing my pepper spray canister out on the deck. I walked out there a good 10 minutes later and it was still hanging in the air. That’s some nasty shit!
A former coworker called in sick because he had shot himself in the thigh with a crossbow while he was sleepwalking. Surely this had to be true. No one would make up a story like that.
My drunken buddy went to get the yard fogger from his storage shed to knock down some of the bugs at a party. Grabbed the wrong can, shot a woman right in the face with hornet spray (very tight, energetic, concentrated spray pattern). Repelled her, all right.
My brother is a chef. Once, I was visiting him at work and as we were talking in his office, the phone rang. Bro picked up, listened for a few minutes, said “We’ll have to talk when you’re back in town” and hung up.
The guy on the line was a waiter. He missed work that day because he drove to another state to see somebody. He got drunk and detained by the local police. The next morning, he called my brother, said he couldn’t make it into work and went back to his car. Turns out, his car had broken down! He bought the part he thought would fix it, but it didn’t work. In a fit of frustration, he tossed the useless part into the street and hit a police car! :eek: This guy was using his one phone call to tell my brother that he was going to miss work again and ask bro to call his mother.
Okay, I don’t know who’s made me laugh hardest: muldoonthief, pinkfreud, or Duke of Rat.
Duke, where does it go from there? How did she react physically? How did she react personally? Did she throw up? I would think that would make someone vomit. How did everyone else react?
pink, what the hell do you suppose he was dreaming?
muldoonthief, can I use that sometime? Not as a sig, but in my own stuff? It would be perfect for Rusty.
When I worked at the BU Theater in Boston, a BU cop told us one night he had seen a buddy of his that day leaned over a sink scrubbing his face vigrorously. When asked what happened, he turned his head, eyes swollen shut and said slowly, “My partner maced me”.
He and his partner had come across a suspicious individual on campus, and when the person began to act violently, the partner took out her mace and gave a nice long spray…
…neglecting to correct for the strong breezes blowing that day.
My mom tells a story about watching an idiot coworker spray himself in the face with mace. The best she could tell, he found it while rifling through another’s coworker’s purse and thought it was prefume. I have trouble feeling bad for him, given the circumstances.
Had a student last year throw his safety vest into the back of the pickup. I was standing beside said pickup putting everything in order before heading back home, when the vest caught on a shovel and wraped around the handle, a can of bear spray is ejected from the pocket of the vest and explodes upon impact with an axe directing a concentrated stream of nastiness which gets me right between the eyes. I know why it repells bears. :mad:
:eek:
