Not Coming To A Theater Near You -- Revival

Cafe Society
1

As I was looking through some old threads just now, Not Coming To A Theater Near You (which was started by **Malleus, Incus, Stapes! ** and got 896 posts between 11-07-2009 and 08-20-2010) made me debate bumping it or starting this thread. As so often happens, in spite of the PTB’s preference for this approach, such “revivals” tend to lie there unanswered.

Even if all you do is read some of the marvelous creations in that oldie, I think you’d enjoy the trip. But since new movies have arrived since those days, maybe there’s some unplowed field still left.

2

I think I used up all my ideas in the previous thread.

3

That’s a great point. In fact, 85% of the posts came from these 14:



Johnny Q                   208 
Hypno-Toad                 108 
furryman                   101 
ministryman                 83 
wedgehed                    68 
Elendil's Heir              35 
Lumpy                       30 
Shot From Guns              28 
Sampiro                     28 
descamisado                 21 
Intergalactic Gladiator     14 
Malleus, Incus, Stapes!     13 
Really Not All That Bright  13 
Serenata67                  10
4

Ozzy: The Great and Powerful– A rock musician is called upon to save a strange land, but spends most of his time getting stoned on the Magic Poppies.

5

The Goats Who Stare at Men – is there an evil force directing them, or are they just bored and stupid?

Lard of the Rinds – everyone who’s anyone tries to fill their hands and mouths with the power of deep fried pork fat.

6

Overhang: Hilarious comedy abut buddies overly worried about whether a nearby overhang is going to fall down,

Cloud Strife Atlas: Romantic movie about Cloud Strife and Tifa’s relationship.

The Curious Button of Benjamin Case: Most Boring Movie Ever

7

The Bobbitt trilogy: An Unexpected Journey to the Backyard, The Desolation of John, and Sewn on Back Again.

8

We Bought a Zune- when his wife dies, a man played by Matt Damon uses her insurance money to ruin the Christmas of his kids who wanted iPods.

Shakespeare in Love Canal- a spell by three pissed off witches sends Will Shakespeare hurtling through time until he lands in the in a radioactive 1970s Niagara Falls suburb.

9

The Loan Arranger: A banker and his Indian IRS agent sidekick ruin the credit of the people who killed his family.

10

Lite Shadows: Half the vampires, Twice the comedy.

The Great Gasbag: Story of the world’s greatest filibuster.

11

I saw that their bringing back a British series called The Tomorrow People made me think of this:
The Forever People: 60’s hippies use futuristic technology to bring peace to the world.

12

Iron Mandingo. In 1859, iron worker Robert Downey Jr. is captured by a gang of escaped slaves who force him to build them a suit made of iron, whereupon the leader of the gang (Richard Ward) hunts down the plantation owner (James Mason in an Oscar-winning performance) who sentenced Ward’s wife to a life of prostitution.

13

Sheer Luck Holmes: While working a completely different case, the famous detective manages to derail Moriarty’s greatest scheme purely by accident. Holmes never realizes this and the Pplot is only ever shown from Moriarty’s point of view.

14

Man of Low Grade Steel- a baby is launched from Krypton shortly before it is destroyed by a mother who is sending it out less to save it than the fact she gave birth at her prom and doesn’t want anybody to know. He arrives on Earth, is raised by a Midwestern couple and doesn’t have so much super human strength and speed as “above average”, making him a hit on reality shows and for people who can’t afford Superman’s outrageous personal appearance fees.

The Help 2: Help Yourself!- Aibilene and Minnie are back. It’s later in the '60s, LSD and Civil War reenactment have come to Mississippi, and Aibi and Minnie and some hippie friends decide to get into the spirit by sacking and burning plantations up and down the river.

15

Hooper: A time traveling assassin becomes a New York storekeeper in the past. Only a large yellow bird knows his secret.

16

Star Trek into Dorkness: J J Abrams purposely makes a Star Trek movie where every scene and character is completely counter to 50 years worth of franchise history in order to rankle all of the fans.

Carts 2: The sequel of the original Carts! Shopping carts are alive and talk to each other in a grocery store parking lot. Not much else really happens.

The Gate Gatsby: Set in the summer of 1922, high society partygoers wonder out loud to each other What is the deal with that guy at the gate?

17

Django Unplugged: An acoustic concert by legendary jazz guitarist Jean Reinhardt.

18

Olympus Has Pollen: Zeus’s allergies are acting up, and the only cure is sex with mortals. At least that’s what he tells Hera.

19

Slow and Calm 6:
Another movie starring Rick Gervaise.

20

GI Joe: Resection: The life and times of a busy gastrointestinal surgeon and his friendly rivalry with his colleague, the Colostomy Commander.