I should have started this before Halloween, but here it is anyway. I’m looking for a story that starts out as creepypasta, but turns out not to be. Its sort of a joke you see, you start telling a scary story and you screw everyone out of being scared, or something. I knew a few, but grandpa Arkcon has CRS…can’t remember … stuff.
Here’s one, I’ve shortened it.
A man enters a diner visibly shaken, he relates that his car broke down out in the fog, and tried to flag passing cars for help. One car came by, so slowly, but never stopping. Assuming they were either screwing with him, or helping in a non-helpful way, he jumped in. Only to discover the VEHICLE HAD NO DRIVER and was just rolling along unguided. Terrified, he stayed frozen in place until he saw the lights of the diner and jumped out. The shaken man tries to drink his coffee when two guys enter the diner. And one says to the other, “Look Joe, its that jerk who jumped in the car while we were pushing it and didn’t even offer to help.”
Heh.
I used to know another, and I just lost all recollection of it. Maybe someone can jog my memory. Also, I know the creepypasta that just recites the lyrics to “Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire” in a creepypasta/Holder of the End way. Also, I play Kingdom of Loathing, so I know these: http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Yuletide#Special_Adventures
Heh. Yeah. That’s a good one. I knew another old school one, but I’m just drawing a blank. Maybe it was something like the ghost hands pushing the car, or maybe even something like Slender-man, but rapidly non-spooky and instead funny. This was way, way before the Slender-man criminal case.
That parody pasta page has more recent ones. They don’t get to the point fast enough for a campfire telling. Sharp people even notice my ghost car parody pasta is possibly going to go funny before I get to it. Its important for them to be decent creepypasta to begin with, then rapidly twist to the punchline.
On the other hand, when someone goes:
You must hail a cab, the correct one will say FRESH on the license plate and there shall be dice in the mirror. Such cabs are rare, but if you execute the requirements properly, then your life, will be flipped. Turned upside down.
So, a few years ago I was walking home in the dark on the night of Halloween. It’s quite a rural neighbourhood without much street lighting, and so trick or treaters doing the rounds are rare, but not unheard of. As I crossed the road about half a mile from my house, I noticed someone about 50 yards behind me in full ‘Scream’ costume - the black cloak, white mask, even the sickle with fake blood daubed on it. They crossed the road too.
As I rounded the corner on to my block, they seemed to be hurrying to catch me up. I could see they were tall, too tall to be a kid out trick or treating. A bit unnerved, I sped up too.
The character behind me breaks into a jog, and full-on terrified by now, I sprint towards my front door, but I’m not going to make it in time, they’re faster than me. As I fumble for my keys and get ready to shout and/or fight, they get right up to me, tap me on the shoulder and yell “Tag! You’re it!” before running off into the night.
Back in high school, I went ghost watching with my friend Lee. We parked across the road from a church graveyard out in the sticks. We sat there quietly for about an hour, when Lee suddenly sucked in his breath.
“Did you see that?” he whispered.
I replied “Did it look like an old man with a top hat and cane?”
