Not in the mood for Christmas

It’s been a stressful year—more driving around, more things to take care of, my surgery, mom’s surgeries and cancer, remodeling chaos, etc. Those things are pretty much over but there is still residue/fatigue. And now Christmas is looming again and I am just in no mood to deal with the lights, tree, decorations, luncheons, gifts, cards, blah blah blah. I was taking a walk with a friend of mine, and she said she gets into the no-mood-for-Christmas feeling more and more every year. She probably can’t get out of it entirely because of her family, but I’m sure she’s going to scale it back quite a bit.
Anyway…I already got mom a new computer and she got me a drill and drill bits because we needed them as of a few weeks ago. As for everything else, we are considering blowing it off.
Anybody else feeling like skipping it this time or just reducing it a lot?

I do. My mom just passed away last month and Christmas is going to be terrible. I just want hibernate and sleep through it.

Although culturally Christian, my family doesn’t really celebrate Christmas. The previous generation is all gone at this point; my sister (with whom I’m close) loathes the holiday; my brother (with whom I’m not close) is married to a Jewish woman and is the father to two Jewish children, so it’s not a big deal there.

I’m doing the Secret Santa here, bought a present for a friend of mine because I saw the perfect thing on sale (don’t always exchange with this person, but gave him a heads up that I would be getting him something this year), will probably get something for my sister – and that’s about it for gifting. May attend a party or two, bought some peppermint ice cream at the supermarket today (Edy’s makes it only at this time of year), might bake cookies, but probably not – and that’s it for other frivolity. Oh, wait, there’s a Yo Yo Ma Christmas album I love, mostly because it’s not overly Christmassy – so I’ll listen to that and Amahl and the Night Visitors a bunch of times. And that will take care of miscellaneous celebrating.

Give yourself permission to sit it out – it’s very liberating.

Unfortunately, it’s always been a very big thing in my family and my dad would be devastated if I didn’t come home, as would my nephews. I just think it’s going to be very sad without Mom there with lots of tears.

I am way over christmas. I don’t know if we’re going to do anything at all. I have some grandkids so I suppose we’ll have to get them some crap toys that will end up in a corner of their bedroom, and something for their parents that may also end up in a corner of their bedrooms. As for hubby and I, we both think we need new bathroom towels :stuck_out_tongue:

The kids just had birthdays - Nov and Oct, and they live a mile away, so it’s not like we only see them on holidays.

We’ve had a chaotic year also (Hubby’s collapse and ICU stay, son’s near-fatal car wreck, son’s messy divorce, 16-yr-old neice attacked by her step-mom & the resulting upheaval of bringing neice into our home, registering her for school etc.).

It has also been an extremely lean year business-wise. I’m flat broke and out of energy for Christmas. So, yeah, I’m getting a very few gifts (one per neice/nephew), none for Hubby or the kids. I have decorated and will try to make my annual cookies (for giving to clients) but that’s probably going to be it.

I’d like to not have all the stress and fuss of Christmas.
I’d like to see cheery light displays, and go to a party or two; but I wish it was someone else’s responsibility.

I’ve been thinking off and on what would make Christmas more meaningful for me. The gifts don’t mean much (we’re all comfortably middle-class, and buy what we need throughout the year), I’m not religious so the birth of Christ thing doesn’t do it for me; I do like the celebration of the winter solstice thing, because the end of December is a very cold, dark time here, and a festival with lights and eating and drinking and renewal of life is welcome.

The thing about not having your expectations met is to lower your expectations - I guess if I expect some food and drinking, some socializing with family, a few presents, I won’t be disappointed. I’m not having any major emotional connection to the Christmas season, though - maybe I never will again. I remember how wonderful it was as a kid, though, and it feels like a loss to not feel that way any more.

I must be getting old because I’m starting to find the traveling stressful.

That’s what we Jews get to do. Putting up and lighting menorahs is way less work than a Christmas tree. I’ve done both, so I know.

You can all get back at me before Passover, when you can taunt me when I have to clean and kasher the kitchen.

Jump on a plane and get the hell out of Dodge!

Tell anyone who asks, it was an irresistible deal/it’s something you’ve always wanted to experience/it’s your gift(s) to each other/yourself. Tell them the non refundable tickets have been purchased. Leave no wiggle room, be excited. They’ll get over it, believe me.

Great deals are to be found this time of the year. You don’t have to go far, or you could go some place sunny. You’ll only have to participate as much, or as little, as you please in whatever the place is doing.

Buy a good book, and curl up on the beach. When people ask what you did for Christmas, say “I gave myself this year off and got a tan instead!”

They’ll be green with envy. And you’ll be lovely and tan - the best revenge!

By the time Christmas rolls around I’ll have earned exactly three pay cheques this calendar year. (I’m back to work after almost 11 months of looking.)

Also, things are very stressful in my marriage (loooong story).

So, yeah, I could easily skip Christmas this year. I just might have, if it wasn’t for the kids.

We are buying a house - close is any time in the next 7 days - and moving by Jan 10th, so will be mostly opting out of Christmas this year. We’ll have to put up a tree at the new house and do presents for the sake of the kids, but we are scaling way way back, because so much of our ready cash is going into the house and we aren’t even about to add consumer debt on top of a new mortgage.

I’m just not very engaged with the whole Christmas thing this year.

Give yourself permission to cry if you need to. It’s not a bad thing to remember your mom on a day that she would have celebrated. Just do the best you can, and if that means you only do parts of things, or the smile isn’t there all the time, that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself.

Don’t stress over not having that childlike awe every year when you’re busy and tired and stressed already. As with everything else in our emotional/spiritual lives, that periodically goes away and needs time and space to replenish itself. Relax and roll with it, and only do what you feel up to truly enjoying on its own terms. In a few years it typically gets better.

I don’t have that childlike awe ANY year - haven’t for years now. I think I do need to make some changes in our usual Christmas - {deleted a laundry list of family complaints}. Yeah, writing out all the family issues has clued me in to possible reasons why Christmas has zero magic for me.

Money was tight last year, so we gave only to each other and very little, at that. I decorated, we had a lovely dinner. It was ok.

This year is worse. We might lose the house. Hubby’s been sick more than he’s been well, although he’s good now.
There’s no way we can give anyone anything. I can’t even find room in the budget for stamps, much less cards.
Hubby loves the season. He likes driving around to see the lights. We watched them light the Macy’s Christmas Star on TV. He wanted to go fight the crowds. He loves to go downtown, ride the carousel, take a carriage ride, or just window shop.
I just don’t want to do any of it this year. I feel like the little orphan looking in the window at someone else’s Christmas. It not that I miss getting stuff, I could care less for me. But I loved watching his face when I’ve found just the right gift. It didn’t even have to be expensive, just him. I can’t do that this year. Damn. :frowning:

Maybe there’s something you could make or cook or fix up instead of purchasing…?
Just trying to think of a few options.
I managed to get the prelit tree put up–only took a few minutes–but did not trim it.

The only packages I’m mailing now are things I’ve sold online.

I agree with thirdwarning. The first Christmas after the death of a parent is very hard. Let the tears come. I bet there will be some laughter and sharing of funny stories, too, though. Just be together and love and support one another.

I was made redundant in November of *last *year, unemployed through that Christmas and this year has been a lot of looking for work and (fortunately) six months of contracting while my wife works 1/2 weeks. But I’ve finally found a new full time job (doesn’t start till mid-January though) so things are looking up there for us…

…and then last weekend my wife broke an ankle – she was in surgery today – and will be off work for 6-12 weeks… with her leg in a cast… right through summer.

Not perhaps the drama and crisis that some of your are having, but enough to put me off the whole festive season for another year.