Not the smartest thing I did, but I succeeded. Kids, don’t try this at home

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

I dont know as much about succeeded as survived but here’s a few :roll_eyes:

When I was a toddler dad bought me one of those fisher-price sets that’s pretty much a car dashboard with steering a “radio” that played pop goes the weasel when you turned the knob… Well, I also had a set of pedals from something and used then as the gas and brakes so id set in my little chair and play "race car " harmless right?

Well dad was picking me up for my weekend visit we went out to the car and he started it and left me in and then remembered he had to go back in the house for something …

Dad took way too long and after I turned the radio on started to play with the steering wheel and remembered the pedals … I slid down enough to hit the gas and turned the wheel to go straight through the HS schools parking lot fence that was diagonal from my house… luckily it was the weekend … they had to get a new fence so the kids made a sign proclaiming it the “my full name” memorial; fence …dad wanted to kill me grandma said it was his fault …

another one around the same age …mom had my cousins staying over for the day … … went to the movies watched star wars got bored at home… decided to play star wars Now how we did so was dad had an old tv antenna that had many metal rods in it in the back yard … cousins decided we could break them off tor guns and sabers … so there are about 8 or so kids running around with sharp pieces of metal …guess who trips and stabs himself with one?

mom thought I slit my chest open… grandma was calmer and realized I just slashed my chest just enough to bleed badly … she did pull out the point and just put a huge bandage on my chest after spraying it with first aid spray …I still have the scar tho you cant see it these days

Oh and the biggie … I sort of accidentally whet to HS high as a kite and drunk off my ass …tho I didn’t know it at first

ok there was a law in the 90s in California that says if you miss 15 days of one class the teacher can fail you no questions asked (I don’t know if that’s still true maybe @silenus who an HS teacher knows) and there was a class I went to that enforced it (although after this incident the school suspended it for me )

Now a lot of you know I have cerebral palsy that mainly affects my legs very painfully sometimes, especially when its cold out

Now one cold winter morning I wasn’t having a good day and I was hurting like hell but had to go to school long enough to go to that class so I find the narcotic muscle relaxers/pain med pills … and well I took 3 or 4 which was dumb in the first place cause that was 2400 mg of yeah …

Now here’s the worse part of It and was moms fault … with these pills if you didn’t drink a certain amount with them you’d get seriously queasy …so I pored something like a 32-ox glass of what I thought just shitty tasting generic orange juice popped the pills in my mouth and downed the juice as fast as I could and went out to meet the bus
ok school started about 7:30 the class was at something like 9:15

It all hit me about 8:30 ish …all of a sudden I couldn’t feel a damn thing and was toddling along looking like I was more lost than usual luckily one of the younger security people found me and asked what was up and I dumped the crappy morning on her and she sighed but inquired about the juice drank and such and helped me to the class I needed to stay for and had a chat with the teacher and since it was an art class sat me down with my paint set and some paper … then she called my mom who wasn’t happy … then the discussion about the juice

mom asked which pitcher did I get it from … I told her and much swearing was heard on the phone …
See she and her friends had card night and proceeded to make a big thing of a screwdriver using some homemade vodka that someone’s relatives sent her … it was estimated that it was 90-95 proof …

So I could have went to jail for oh about 24-36 months for that one … luckily I just painted in class mom came in the back teacher’s entrance and took me home and the security girl just slipped on a freshly backdated form saying I was out for a dr appointment and art teacher threatened anyone in the class who said otherwise or mentioned it ever again with class expulsion …and several of my peers offered me money for those pills over the next month or two

102

Most of the stupid things I’ve done were just inexplicable lapses, usually driving. I’m a cautious driver, I take it dead serious, I have social anxiety and was in a car accident in my teens so I’m hyper-vigilant both about actual collisions and pissing other drivers off. But every once in a while my brain exits my body and I do some dumb fucking shit. It’s usually anxiety related.

Some time ago I was turning left onto a two-lane road (I hate making left turns) that I have driven on countless times before, but for some reason I just took off… on the wrong side of the road. At the moment I had convinced myself it was a second lane. My brain processed the yellow dotted line as a white dotted line. There was no oncoming traffic to tip me off, but how the holy fuck does that happen? I swerved back into the correct lane and I can only imagine what the cars behind me were thinking.

I guess ADHD and anxiety are not a good mix.

I thought it might be medication related because when I was taking Wellbutrin I would suddenly forget where I was in the middle of a drive. One time I damn near had a panic attack and had to pull over because I believed I had forgotten how to drive. Well then I started having seizures. So no more Wellbutrin for me. I have no idea exactly if the seizures were caused by Wellbutrin because I now take an anti-convulsant. But so far so good!

I guess what I’m saying is I do stupid things on accident. Which is far more embarrassing, honestly.

Something similar happened to my Mom and her siblings when she was four and she ended up under the wheel of the car, non-responsive, with no heartbeat and a crushed ribcage. She survived** in fact she made a pretty fast recovery. Kids are resilient.

ETA: **Haha obviously

103

all i did was bump my head

104

Heh, children operating cars:

When I was young, 3-4 or so, I wasn’t in kindergarten yet, my mom left me in the front seat of the car (without the engine running) while she was talking to another mom in the parking lot of my sister’s elementary school. I decided to hop in the driver’s seat and pretend I was driving (basically just wrenching the wheel back and forth). I’d done it before, she thought nothing of it. But this time I reached up, grabbed the column shift lever, and threw the auto into neutral (60s Ford, no brake interlock).

My mom was leaning against the car, and felt it roll away behind her. I still remember her face while I rolled back down the hill, that ended in a relatively busy street. Lucky for me, my troubleshooting skills were at least at the “What was the last thing you did? Un-do that!” level, so I plopped it back into park, and the pawl ground me to a halt. Not great for the transmission, but better than my alternatives.

Hehehe, before that happened, I’d always get to “steer” my dads VW Beetle home while sitting on his lap as a reward for when we left the barber shop (I still am not fond of haircuts). After that, nope!