Now I just shit my pants.

Yesterday I was travelling from San Jose California back home to South Florida. While in the Houston airport, I’m suddenly strunk with very strong nausea while waiting for a lunch order. I have make apologies, barely able to talk without spewing, drop some money for the drink I sipped and scoot out. The nausea passed, but returned while on the flight to West Palm Beach. I barely made it to the bathroom where I thought I was going to hork up my asshole.

Now, I realize projectile vomiting isn’t just a myth. If I hadn’t made it to the bathroom, I could have arced my spew over three or four rows and drenched the people in 1st class. My gut spasmed so hard I think I became an “inny”.

When I got home last night I projectiled some more, then tried to sleep while fever hallucinating. What a fucking night. The best I can say about it is that remember little but for the suffering.

I’m feeling much better today. In fact, today would be a pretty good day if I hadn’t just lost the “fart or not?” wheel-of-misfortune spin. Yes, I shit my pants. Good thing I’m home.

Fart Or Not Wheel of Fortune… tonight on Fox!

One morning I woke up with a bit of gassy pressure on the old chocolate donut. I was sleeping in, and wasn’t quite ready to get up, and it felt safe, so I just let it go.

And filled my whitey tighties with a hot soup.

Thank God I was sleeping on my stomach, and not wearing boxers, with their more liberal entrance and exit policy. I threw the blankets off, got up on all fours, and managed to keep it off the bedclothes.

I then crabwalked to the bathroom, thankful that my roommate was still asleep.

I feel for you.

Just…not right at the moment…



Ummm . . .

Well . . .

So, how 'bout them Mariners? Hoo-boy.

I did that in the car once. Thank god I was alone.

One time in high school, I was ditching class to hang out all day with my boyfriend (who was not in high school) when we heard the door. His mom was home, unexpectedly! Fortunately she wasn’t mad. She was laughing hysterically… she went to her room then came out a few minutes later saying “I was driving to work and I thought I had to fart and I shit my pants!”

Yeah, but when a girl does it, rosebuds come out, so it’s okay.

May I request, “Saturday Night Live’s” – ‘Oops! I Crapped my Pants’ ?

I had a mate in college who had IBS really bad. We had a night class (ended at 10pm) together and one night she wasn’t feeling to well. We came out of class (in an annex apart from the main building) and she said ‘pardon me but I gotta fart so bad’… I walked a bit off to give her some breathing room - and privacy - when this most liquidy sounding raspberry filled the air. I turned around to laugh at her when I saw the shock of horror on her face… it wasn’t just air… :eek:

Due to the late hour the college was locked up - no access to the toilets. I raided my truck for as many napkins as I could find to let her clean herself up.

I never let her live that one down…


Pardon my ignorance: IBS?

Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

I am ‘blessed’ with this condition. It occasionally leads to faeces-oriented japes.

Thanks. I think. :slight_smile:

I had a bad dose of tummy rot over the last wkend.

Anything I say about it would be TMI IMO so I’m not going there :wink:

Please, tell me you changed your pants before posting.

I can’t imagine having to projectile vomit into an airplane’s honey pot. What about that trap door thing? The poor sap that followed me would probably start sympathy chucking after my unattended firehose approach.

It’s amazing you didn’t crap your pants right then. What if you didn’t have the aisle seat? Can you imagine having to shuffle past someone to get to a window seat with a warm spent cartridge in your pants?

Fortunately for the next guy, I was close enough to the pot (not that you can get very far) so that it all went where it should, and I just flushed it. With the engine noise covering the sound of me yakking, probably no one even knew I wasn’t just pinching loaf.

I wonder if you had eaten anything with Olestra in it? It affects my son that way: first nausea, then butt tsunamis.

Nah, Olestra gave me the squats once, but never vomiting or a fever. This was probably a short flu.

I hate white castle earlier and almost shit in my pants tonight. You have my sympathies

Thanks for putting me off everything ever.