Which was why I proposed moving it to the Pit, because I knew better. 
On the lighter side of Elmo’s hellsite, here’s a Youtuber performing dramatic readings of Twitter comment threads initiated by bot accounts and entirely carried on with by more bot accounts.
I suppose there’s something relieving in knowing that, even if humanity dies off tomorrow, whatever visitors this planet receives from elsewhere in the cosmos will find our culture and history intact by means of non-sapient computer programs chattering on endlessly about pop singers and coconuts.
There will come soft rains.
honestly wtf
It’s our bright cyberpunk future. Brain implants, cybertrucks and in the near future we colonize Mars, all thanks to our lord and savior of the white race, Elmo.
Oh wait, cyberpunk is a dystopian genre. Um, I mean forget what I just said.
-pauses current playthrough of Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom liberty-
I endorse @Dissonance’s take, and should I eventually develop powers to melt the minds of others through my internal cyberdeck, I look forward to uploading a Contagion quickhack to Eloon when next our paths cross.
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I hope Sam is doing well, but it would explain the spike in typos lately.
My first thought was that this might be the first the FDA has heard about this.
And I had a wild idea about Musk this weekend - he’s basically Dabney Coleman’s character from 9 to 5. The one repeatedly described as a lying hypocritical sexist egotistical bigot.
Elmo sez:
The first human received an implant from @Neuralink yesterday and is recovering well. Initial results show promising neuron spike detection.
In an unexpected confluence of technologies, this cyborg will eventually be used as proof that Elmo has finally achieved Full Self-Driving. The cyborg will be an optional extra on Teslas.
Not for everyone. All the stories were told from the perspective of the bottom-dwellers and outsiders, but there were always the top people at the megacorps enjoying being the .1%.
Guess where Elmo envisions his role in this future?
Elmo wants his serfs to live and sleep on Tesla assembly lines.
https://www.mysanantonio.com/business/article/tesla-workers-sleep-at-gigafactory-austin-18629731.php
Gee, I can’t imagine why the entirety of Scandinavia is on strike against him.
How it started / How it’s going
Huh, I thought content moderation was part of the woke mind virus that Elmo is fighting with his free speech absolutism and that’s why he got rid of it.
Agile absolutism from 20,000 feet sure is complicated, good thing we have a genius like Elmo in charge!
It turns out that the likelihood of a lawsuit from a fellow billionaire with a lot of experience protecting her image has actually caused him to do something. Though, barn door, horse, etc.
I bet if Swift told people to stop using Twi… uh, whatever its called, it would fold in a week.
It would fold swiftly!
a Taylor-made campaign could have a huge impact on Twitter
lol yes
TBF I am rooting for Neuralink’s experiments to be successful here, and I’m not without hopes that they might be.
Because
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AFAICT the test subjects are disabled volunteers desperate for increased physical function and mobility, and it’s not their fault that Elon Musk is a megalomanaical loon; and
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Brain-computer interface implant trials are not just a loony Musk idea; apparently significant progress has been made in this area by responsible researchers in the field, so I hope Musk’s company has had the sense to copy what’s working.