My senior year of college I worked at the local McDonald’s, and then I unexpectedly got offered another job which was interesting and paid better.
I never called to quit or anything. I just stopped showing up. And one day a month or so later, I went to the drive through and handed my (ugly, lime green polyester) uniform to the very surprised person at at the booth.
I know that’s not illegal or anything, but it certainly was inexcusable. C’mon, how hard is it to pick up the phone and say “I won’t be showing up for work tomorrow, I quit?”
Well, this one’s pretty godawful: when I was in college as an undergrad, some friends of mine worked in the dorm mailroom. On one occasion (there may have been more than one, but I was only involved in one), they swiped an envelope containing a new credit card meant for someone else, and went on a shopping spree. I went along with them and picked up a computer game for myself. I still feel pretty guilty about it.
And you wonder why you have to call from your home phone to activate cards now…
Oh, and on the subject of computer games: another friend had a shrinkwrap machine. He (and occasionally I) would buy software, copy it, reseal it, and return it for full store credit. Much easier than downloading over a 14.4 modem. But, not nice.
I used to earn a few dollars in high school by writing essays for classmates. If we had, say, a history paper due, I’d take orders and write up to four or five papers for the class. I kept what I considered to be the best for myself, and distribute the others to my classmates who had ordered them. And collected their money, of course.
I also smoked some drugs in my teen years, but found that beer was much more to my liking.
A “friend” once figured out that every time he went over to his high school girlfriend’s house when her parents weren’t home, he was committing at least 3 felonies (burglary, defined as “entering any dwelling with intent to commit a felony,” statutory rape, and “deviant sexual acts.”) They were together for a little over two years, so he really racked up a crime spree.
I used to dial a number, the same telephone number, and let it ring once and hang up. Why? I have no idea. It was evil and annoying to the people whose number it was, I’m sure (I knew who it was) and I did it on and off from the time I was a kid until high school. I’m blushing this minute, just thinking of it. What a little shit I was, to do such a thing! :mad:
When I was in high school, some friends and I had the nicest crop of pot plants growing in a field not far from my house. They were well over 6 feet tall when we harvested them. The money made from selling it paid for my moped.
Boy. When I was a kid, for many years, our phone would ring once and because I thought it was a friend calling, or my girlfriend reaching out to me, I would leap for the phone but it only rang once, and there’d be nobody there when I picked up.
Wow. :eek:
Either a lot of posters are holding back a bit or I’m a very bad person. Hmmmm.
When I was in the third grade I shoved a girl who was standing near my desk as hard as I could. She stumbled backwards and just barely missed striking the back of her neck against the sharp metal edge of the chalk tray under the chalkboard.
My parents thought I went to my best friend’s house in 12th grade for the weekend but my g.f. and I went down the shore where we sunned, played in the surf and screwed nonstop for two days.
When I was 10 my sister and I wanted to play Old Maid, but we couldnt find the deck of cards. I had previously noticed that the local 7-11 store had them for sale, so I went down to buy a deck.
They were on the top shelf on an aisle out of view of the clerk (a guy named Dave who was going out with my best friend’s big sister). I climbed up the shelf to reach them (I didn’t think to ask for help). I needed my hands free to climb back down so I stuck them in my pocket–just for a moment.
Just then the clerk (who had been peeking around the end of the aisle) jumped out and triumphantly shouted, “Aha, caught ya!” He ordered me to come to the counter and stand behind it. He then called the cops. It wasn’t until hours later that I realized he must have been pretending to make the call (and years later that I found out that there is no crime unless you actually leave the store with the merchandise), but at the time I was sweating bullets thinking that I was going to jail or something.
Finally he said something like, “I’m going to give you a break…this time. But I’ll be watching you. Now get out before the cops get here,” and he turned his back on me. I grabbed my cards and lit out. Halfway home I realized that I hadn’t paid for the cards, but there was no way I was going back–the cops could be there by now! I avoided the 7-11 for some time after that and when I again began shopping there he didn’t seem to recognize me.
Now for the confession part: From that time on every single time I went to the 7-11 and he was on duty I stole something. It didn’t matter what it was or if I wanted or needed it–I took something even if I knew I would just throw it away later. This continued until the guy stopped working there about 4 years later. He never caught me because I made sure he wasn’t looking when I was actually stealing!
So, thanks Dave for starting me along on my life of crime!
My best friend and I were buds with a really nice gal (I’ll call her Sarah for this message, not her real name). We kind of adopted her as our “baby sister”. She got engaged to a real asshole and despite our warnings, she married him anyway. It took him about a week to hit her the first time.
She hid it from us for a while, but we eventually found out. We took the asshole out into the countryside and took turns whipping his butt. When we were too tired to continue, we told him in no uncertain terms that if he raised a hand to Sarah again, we would tear his arm off and beat his head in with it. And if he called the cops, he would vanish from the face of the earth.
About a month later, he packed up and moved out. They were divorced shortly after, and two years later, she married someone else. Last time I heard from her, the youngest kid had just graduated college, so things worked out well.
When I was about 6 years old I threw sand in the eyes of a kid who had thrown sand at me earlier. I aimed for his eyes. Obviously I didn’t know the damage it would do. Whoops.
My best friend and I used to shoplift quite a bit in high school. I had a fondness for crystals and cosmetics, she moved on up to stealing clothing and such. She got caught on a shoplifting spree and I quit shoplifting…for the most part. I was in a store and wanted some tea-tree oil and it was so outrageously priced I just put it in my pocket.
I got caught once stealing three sewing needles. It was Halloween, my boyfriend and I needed a sewing needle to fix our costumes, so we went to the store intending to buy one. Except they came in packages of like 50. And one was open, with needles missing from it. So we helped ourselves to a couple and walked out - only to be stopped by security. They demanded to see what we had up our sleeves and were completely disgusted when they realized we had shoplifted a grand total of about 30 cents worth of sewing needles. They said pay for it or put it back, and so we put the “stolen” ones back in the opened package, then I bought an unopened one. I still have the damn thing, with about 35 of them still unused.
When I was thirteen, I punched a ten year old in the face for spraying me with water after I had asked him to stop. I hadn’t hit anyone in at least six years before that and haven’t again since.
My father ran a barbershop that was one half of a building with the other half being a tobacco store. My cousin and I used to run a game on the tobacconist. When dad was out of the shop I would get the old guy into the back room by some pretext or other and my cousin would steal a couple packs of cigarettes.
I did something similar to an ex’s new boyfriend when he started in with same sort of behavior. Not that I really cared that she had gotten herself in that situation, but he threatened her little sisters and he would have done it too.
I just remembered another one. When I was in high school, the dinky phone company where we were living didn’t have automated equipment to tell what number you were calling from, so when you made a long distance call, an operator would come on the line and ask what number to bill it to. I started giving any old number – except our own, naturally – and had lots of lovely long conversations with old friends all over the country.
Actually, the statute hasn’t passed on that one. The FBI, Homeland Security, and The Knights Who Say “Ni” will all be knocking on your door within the week, now that they have your IP address thanks to the Reader. Good going.
NOooOOOooOoOOOoO! I knew it was a mistake to admit anything. Good thing I didn’t mention the time I coasted through a stop sign! Or when I slammed a bottle of Lord Calvert Canadian and … Wait a minute! Oho, almost got me there.
One time, when I was in high school, I killed a guy…
Not really…
But I did technically break into someone’s yard to have sex in their pool with an underage girl the day I turned 18. It was ridiculous and their security alarm went off when she went into the shed/poolhouse thing to turn the pool heater on. We watched the cops show up from the hill above it, hiding in the woods, and then they left. I went home and drank a bit…good times, good times…
When I was 14, in a creative writing class, one of the stories I wrote was a complete rip-off of an episode of a Garfield cartoon. I’m usually way more creative than that, and I have no idea what was going through my head when I did that. Thankfully no one noticed, but I still feel stupid for that one.
In high school there were many times when I lied about what grades I was getting when my parents asked. Not that I was failing, but I still wasn’t doing that great, and I didn’t need another lecture on study habits and whatnot.
