How do you plan to view Lars von Trier’s new cinematic masterpiece?
This film is the final film of von Trier’s “Depression Trilogy” which consists of Antichrist, Melancholia and the just completed Nymphomaniac.
You forgot: “Who is Lars von Trier?”
Will credit you that your comment makes a better question than “Who is John Galt?”, which is quite repetitive and mostly quoted by people who haven’t the faintest idea who either of them is. 
Credit for take a stab at the Poll.
If I were to recommend one of von Trier’s trilogies for someone who is not already a fan, I think I would recommend the Golden Heart trilogy which included “Dancer in the Dark” that you might have heard of, or either of the first two of his “America” trilogy: “Dogville” or “Manderlay”. The third of that set, “Wasington”, has not been filmed yet so you could catch up.
It’s Danish Dogme 95 film, very minimalist, almost like a stage play.
How? I imagine the only way I would view a Lars von Trier film, is via the Ludovico technique.
Probably a good choice. Although the apparatus to viddy welly welly well might not be so horrorshow. Well, it’s von Trier. It might be a plus.
I probably won’t see it because I didn’t think Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was all that funny.
I might watch it on TV if I was in the mood (which is not a choice).
Having seen Antichrist, I can’t help but see Trier as a massive troll.
I plan on downloading the scenes featuring female nudity, and ignoring the rest.
“To produce scenes of unsimulated sex, Von Trier is having the genitals of porn actors digitally composited onto the bodies of the film’s cast.[13]”
So its CGI porn ?
More like Photoshop porn. You know how they take the head of one actress and attach it to the body of another? This is the same thing, only with cocks.
He attached cocks to actresses? Gross!
Your poll choice of “Not at all. I would never watch a Lars von Trier film” precludes a more general response of “Not at all.” As I would and have watched a Lars von Trier film, but I would not watch this one. 
You left out “Collection of ‘Best of’ .GIFs, late at night, in a ‘Private Mode’ browser window”.
Moving from IMHO to Cafe Society.
If I watch it at all, it will probably be in 5 minute spurts.
It’s a movie about sex, and Shia LaBeouf is in it. No thanks.
I am done with Lars von Trier. Life is too short and I just won’t do unrelentingly bleak anymore ( and in von Trier’s case, also vaguely nasty ).
A family member really liked Melancholia. I hadn’t associated any names with it until this thread.
I keep thinking I should at least give that movie a try. However… I have pretty much come to the conclusion that anything this family friend likes will be something that either annoys or bores me. So put me down for “probably won’t see.”