[QUOTE=mobo85]
I don’t get this. Is this a Holocaust joke? Like the Helen Keller joke, those don’t really age (Who’s the most famous Jewish baker? Hitler!)
[/QUOTE]
Well, Hitler jokes don’t age, but the one I posted was more for the sake of an obsolete prejudice against Germans in general rather than Hitler specifically – he’s always been a seminal target.
From a recently discovered Victorian joke book:
Cracks me up every time. They didn’t always go down that well though. Apparently, when Queen Victoria was told the following:
she is reputed to have said when told this, “OMFG we are not ROTFLOAO”.
How do you get the Jackson Five in a mini?
Two in the front, two in the back, and Michael in the ashtray.
(Substitute “Indians” for “the Jackson Five” for use with Indira Gandhi if required.)
[QUOTE=Mindfield]
Well, Hitler jokes don’t age, but the one I posted was more for the sake of an obsolete prejudice against Germans in general rather than Hitler specifically – he’s always been a seminal target.
[/QUOTE]
He would be quite fetching in a pearl necklace.
This was popular when I was a kid:
What will it take to reunite The Beatles?
Another three bullets!
[QUOTE=trublmakr]
Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” all the time. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete?
[/QUOTE]
I live in Wi where there are a lot of Polish names also. I haven’t heard any in a long time, this is the only one I can think of right now.
What did the Polish mother and Mexican father name thier child?
Retardo
[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
I thought Johnny was asking for jokes that depend on technology or conventions that no longer exist. Hence the “himicaines” joke being obsolete, because 50% of hurricanes are now named after men.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, that was my intention. (I was even going to post the reason the hurricane joke was obsolete, but I changed my mind.)
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
There used to be a joke going around like this:
Q. Why is Nixon such a terrible poker player?
A. Because he can’t stand Pat!
[/QUOTE]
Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty.
[QUOTE=freckafree]
What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes?
Sammy Davis, Jr. and Moishe Dyan.
[/QUOTE]
I’m giggling like a madwoman here.
Back when Gary Hart was running for the democratic presidential bid…
Who did Donna Rice want for president?
In her heart she wanted Bush, but in her bush she wanted Hart
[QUOTE=Otto]
Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty.
[/QUOTE]
A naughtier joke, then, with a similar punch line: Nixon attended a screening of Deep Throat…afterwards, he wanted to try it himself, but he couldn’t get it down Pat.
[QUOTE=BlackKnight]
This is more a riddle than a joke. I don’t know when I first heard it, but it was obsolete even then.
Little Jonny gets injured and is rushed to the ER. The doctor takes one look at him and says, “I can’t operate on this patient - he’s my son.” But the doctor is not Jonny’s father. Who is it?
The answer, of course, is that it is his mother. Apparantly, this was once a trick answer, since who could imagine a woman as a doctor?
[/QUOTE]
Even in the 21st century, it still reels in its victims - including women.
Another that was funny some 36 years ago:
A guy falls off a ladder in 1959, hits his head, and goes into a coma for ten years. When he wakes up in 1969, the first thing he sees out the window is the flagpole in front of the hospital. He asks a nurse why the flag is at half mast, and she replies, “Oh, that’s because Eisenhower has died.” The guy bolts upright in bed and exclaims, “What!!! You mean that bastard Nixon is president?”
My fave:
Q: What’s the difference between OJ and Christopher Reeve?
A: OJ’s gonna walk!
[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
Got Prince Albert in a tin?
Better let him out, or he’ll suffocate!
[/QUOTE]
please will someone explain this to me?
I’ve heard it several times before but I don’t get it…
Obviously I understand that if Prince Albert was in a tin he would suffocate but… is this the name of a product or something? I feel like I’m missing a double meaning here.
[QUOTE=The Why Bird]
please will someone explain this to me?
I’ve heard it several times before but I don’t get it…
Obviously I understand that if Prince Albert was in a tin he would suffocate but… is this the name of a product or something? I feel like I’m missing a double meaning here.
[/QUOTE]
I was going to google up a picture of the tin.
Lesson learned.
Never google “Prince Albert.”
So here’s its Wiki instead.
[QUOTE=trublmakr]
Growing up in rural Michigan with a lot of people with Polish surnames, I heard “Pollack jokes” all the time. I haven’t heard a single one since I moved away years and years ago. Does anyone still tell Pollack jokes, or have they become obsolete?
[/QUOTE]
Been a long time since I’ve heard one. Some of them were really hilarious, but in repeating them, for the sake of PC (long before it was invented), I’d substitute “Ethnic.”
As in, How many Ethnics does it take to change a light bulb?
[QUOTE=Otto]
Nixon was actually quite a good poker player and in fact financed his first Congressional race with poker winnings. So not only is the joke obsolete the setup is faulty.
[/QUOTE]
“The setup is faulty” usually means “the joke’s internal structure is faulty.” The gag doesn’t actually depend on Nixon’s real-life poker acumen (although I’m still slightly tempted to “Cite?” you on that).
You’re still pissed because I said The Wizard of Oz was a metaphor for 1930s escapism, aren’t you? 
The punchline I heard for the hurricane joke is “Because if they were named for men they’d never make it past the Virgin Islands.”
How about
Q: “What are 3 forms of communication that begin with ‘T’?”
A: Telephone, Telegram, Tell a woman
I guess the middle one has to be Television now.
[QUOTE=davmilasav]
Q: “What are 3 forms of communication that begin with ‘T’?”
A: Telephone, Telegram, Tell a woman
[/QUOTE]
Hey, I actually repeated that joke no more than a year ago in an otherwise all-female office.
AND came away unscathed.