Funnier response IMHO, when the clerk says they have it, you say they better let him out, the Queen wants to see him.
I heard this the day after the Challenger blew up. Did you hear they found part of the black astronaut on the beach? Turned out to be an old radiator hose.
I’m going to hell for that one.
Hey, if someone wanted to compare my penis with a radiator hose, I’d be flattered.
The young boy asks his Rabbi for Fifty dollars. The Rabbi says Forty dollars…what do you need Thirty dollars for.
I may be very wrong, but I don’t think the “in the ashtray” joke is a reference to the Pepsi hair burning incident. The joke refers to the Jackson 5, and at the time of the Jackson 5, Micheal was a small child-- small for his age, in fact, and passed off as younger, often referred to as “little Micheal”, etc. I think the gag is just that he was a little, little dude compared to his brothers.
And yeesh, y’all are a bunch of sheltered folk if a mere PA is that mindblowing to yous. 
Don’t google subincinsion!
I disagree. I first heard the MJ/ashtray joke after MJ’s head caught on fire. That was funny. Making fun of him being a child isn’t.
I agree, that interpretation lacks any real oomph due to lack of cruelty. But the Jackson 5 was past history by the time he caught fire. The anachronistic reference in a now-outdated joke is what’s throwing me; if it was “how do you fit Madonna, Tina Turner, Prince, Boy George, and Michael Jackson in a four seater”, then it’d make sense and be funny.
I wear a watch. My choir teacher in high school pulled out his cell phone to check the time. My brother in law’s brother just doesn’t have the time.
Yep, as was the story of the terrible disaster at the LBJ ranch. Someone left the gate open and all the cows went home…
This one’s only been obsolete for 3 years.
The bird watchers say, you have to take the twitter with the tweet.
What’s black and white and red all over?
It sure as hell ain’t a newspaper.
I thought the point of the Michael Jackson joke was that it is actually no longer obsolete.
You know–dead–cremation–ashes in the ashtray?
“Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”
Apparently Mrs. Lincoln had a husband named Abraham, who was famous at the time, who got shot during a play during the mid 1800s. I’m not sure of the specifics, I think they may have mentioned him in history class once or twice but I can’t recall.
Well anyway it would make sense.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a cold one. As he opens it up he says to the bartender, “Hey, I heard a great new Aggie joke, wanta hear it?”
The bartender leans in and says, “Hey, I’m an Aggie. That guy down there who’s 6’3’’ and weighs 300 pounds? He’s an Aggie football player! That guy over at the table? He’s the champ of the Aggie’s boxing team. Still wanta tell that joke?”
“Well, no. Not if I’m going to have to tell it three times.”
(Probably not obsolete.)
The “Guess who just quit smoking?” joke. Variously: David Koresh, Ted Bundy, etc. Will still work for those who die in a fire, but not for capital punishment, due to lethal injection. I guess there’s nothing funny about lethal injection.
Hmmm. In the version I heard, this turned out to be the priest’s mnemonic device for remembering the order in which he made the sign of the cross before blessing stuff.
“When a Jew gets a boil, he doesn’t have an onion. When a Jew gets an onion, he doesn’t have a boil.”
My favorite catagory of obsolete humor is Soviet Russia jokes. Is it just what I’ve come across, or do most Russian dissident jokes involve Jews?
I thought it was Richard Pryor who set his head on fire?
In 1980 Richard Pryor was burned over half of his body after he accidentally set himself on fire while freebasing cocaine while drinking 151-proof rum.
In 1984 Michael Jackson’s hair was set afire by pyrotechnics during the filming of a Pepsi commercial, causing 2nd degree burns to his scalp.
Y’know, if you just switch the punchlines, they’re topical again.