Missy (aka “The Countess”) was a gnarly tabby cat that I shared my home with for nearly 18 years. She had total and utter disdain for all other mammals, other than myself or my daughter Chrissy. She was the epitome of ‘cattitude’.
Missy was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure over a year ago, and fought bravely and diligently against the disease. She did her best, but succumbed on Monday, November 12.
And so it goes…
November 23, 2001
Well, old girl, it’s the day after Thanksgiving. You died on November 12, and I picked up your ashes at the Vet Clinic today after work. I had managed to go four days without crying; but when the vet tech handed me the gold foil box (which contained your ashes), I burst into tears again.
You died at 3:50am a week ago last Monday. I held you all that night as you snuggled under my chin. You weren’t suffering, or in pain; you were just tired of all the pills, needles and procedures. I felt the life force leave your body, and heard your death rales. Your final physical act was to pee on me. And I knew, at that moment, that you had left my life for good. I cried for over a week. I thought I didn’t have any tears left to shed, but I was wrong. That’s how much I miss you. That’s how much you meant to me.
My home isn’t the same. I come home from work, and you’re not here. I look for you on the VCR, or your favorite chair; and you’re not here. Please, please tell me you’re still here, it’s just that I can’t see you anymore. I need to know that you will always be near, and it’s OK. I worry now that you didn’t realize how much I loved you. I let you sleep on top of me every night for the last eight months, because I loved you. I let you sit in my lap at the computer desk, and walk all over the keyboard, because I loved you. I forced pills down your throat twice a day, because I loved you. You had carte blanche to do anything you wanted, because I loved you.
I’ve been crying the whole time I wrote this, because I love you and miss you so. The gold foil box (containing your ashes) I put on the VCR seems like a poor substitute for your regal presence, Dear Countess.
In loving memory of Missy
?/?/1983 - 11/12/2001
