Last year a couple of those bastards decided to hatch eggs next to the front entrance at the building I work. They were attacking people who were going in and out of the building. If it were up to me, I would have fixed the problem using a Mossberg pump-action shotgun. But no… we weren’t allowed to touch them. They put up a barrier and routed people around the fucking geese. :rolleyes:
Are you trying to say “they’d just as soon not use”?
I dunno, I heard they can be greasy. Anyone confirm this?
Domestic geese are very greasy. Not sure about the wild ones.
presumably strung C G D A ? 
We need solutions, not bitterness and ridicule. The geese really aren’t to blame. They have no sense of moral values. They don’t know right from wrong. Why can’t we house them with the criminally insane?
Apparently the word is snarge. Interview with bird goo person here.
By the way, since the plane’s engines have apparently gone missing, who’s up for a conspiracy theory? The timing with Bush’s farewell address is suspicious. And those ferries got there awfully fast. I’m starting to think that the geese are being set up … if there was even a plane at all.
My municipality has folks in canoes herd the geese in the spring onto a shoreline corral, and then march them into a truck to take them away. As long as there are goslings, the geese stay together rather than fly away.
They need Phred Phelps to help them see the error of their ways!
Canada goose, you go home now. You’re supposed to be a migratory bird.
I’ve been closer to Canada then these fuckers. Next thing instead of calling them Canada Geese, we’ll be calling them Town Mall Geese.
What the hell does that string of words mean?
“they would just as soon not use”, perhaps?
I love that her last name is Dove.
Snarge. I wonder how often I can work that into an everyday conversation.
“Want some Domino’s Pizza?”
“Hell no! I ain’t eating that snarge!”
You could refer to McNuggets as chicken-fried snarge.
I’ll try to cover my butt by noting that I’m very glad no one, except the unfortunate geese, was seriously injured and that I do not endorse arbitrary fly-by goosings. However, this incident (and the over-sensitive woman in the OP) is as funny as setting someone’s hair afire.
Husband’s a truck driver and is quite hazardous to innocent animals (the livestock he hauls to slaughterhouses not included). I was on the road with him for two years and am amazed at how many animals he killed. To date: 1 buck, 1 fox, 1 snow rabbit, 10 + jack rabbits (gotta love NM), 1 coyote, 1 snow owl, 1 turkey, 1 goose, 3 ducks, 20 + pheasant (gotta love SD for the stupid pheasant), unknown # of other birds, frogs, lizards, turtles, and 1 armadillo*. That’s just when I rode with husband; his 20 yr career makes him PETA’s worst enemy.
Every time he hits an animal I’ll recite an orphaned baby/mama conversation:
“Mama, why didn’t daddy come home last night? Doesn’t he love us anymore?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t heard yet, son. It’s all over I-90. There was a hit and run accident. Daddy was minding his own business, just crossing the road, when a horrible truck driver mowed him over. You’re the mallard of the nest now.”
“Mama, won’t someone think of the ducklings?”
It’s a sad fact of life that animals get in the way of humans. Husband does his best to avoid all the animals, but I wonder if the gal in the OP would prefer him to jackknife 100k lbs of tractor, trailer and cattle just to avoid hitting Bambi. I’ll take deer slop any day over a human getting killed. And I’m pretty sure the families of the people on the plane are just tickled that the pilot didn’t swerve to miss a skein (hah!) of geese.
*In all our travels, I’d only seen armadillos sunbathing in the middle of the road (code for roadkill). I finally got to see a live one. For about six seconds. There wasn’t enough time for husband to miss the poor feller. It ripped off a mudflap and bent the metal flap holder. Husband wouldn’t go back and let me get the shell to make a soup bowl. Now my favorite song to sing when we see a sunbather is George Strait’s hit, “Armadillo By Morning.”
**Just have to tell the story of my friend’s son. Years ago we took him fishing at a busy park where there are also lots of geese. Upon seeing the many geese, the four yr old did the excited kid dance (like a seizure) and screamed at the top of his lungs, “EEEEE! MOMMY! Look at all the HONKIES!” It took us twenty minutes to stop laughing and explain that honky isn’t a word we scream in public.
bovine, does your husband paint little animal symbols on the side of his truck whenever he gets a new type (like a fighter pilot)?
(Your friend’s son’s story is hilarious! I can’t figure out if it’s funnier if the family is white or black!)
There are tons of geese at El Dorado Park in Long Beach, which has an extensive lake system. They waddle up to people in packs of four or five, honking threateningly. They remind me of a Mafia gang.
“You got da bread? Hand over da bread and nobody gets hurt.”
featherlou, that’s a grand idea.
Right now we just name the dents and broken pieces: Son of a buck! - bumper. Crap, coyote! - bumper lights. Oh shit, owl! - smokestack. Bastard bird! - sleeper roof. Retarded rabbits! - steer tires.
I have to give a shout out to one of my peeps, a dear departed friend called Duck, Duck, Goo. His buddies managed to miss us, but DDG flew smack into the side of the trailer (at least we didn’t end up in the pond). Since it’s a livestock trailer, it has holes. Feathers came out the other side for miles and other drivers thought we were hauling chickens. When we unloaded the cattle, about 300 miles later, a couple of cows had feathers in their mouths. Ewww. I guess it was a twofer at the slaughterhouse. Great times by almost all.
*Side note re: the friend’s kid. We’re all white. There was a black couple nearby, but they didn’t seem to notice. Or were too polite to point and laugh. On the same fishing trip I taught the kid how to pee outside on a tree (he couldn’t hold it for the walk to the bathroom). He was so proud. My bad that I neglected to tell him about wind direction. I plan to do right by my own son.
Canine mascot? Hmmmm…perhaps I could suggest it at the next meeting!
[off topic]Not only have I seen it, but my boss played the villain in the intro! :D[/off topic]