Offbeat haiku

So, I’m taking this week off. Got some idle time to do some laundry, clean the apartment, and write some haiku:

Cleaning the apartment,
that damned son of a bitch
never will I sublet again, I say!
Thank God I have this week off. :cool:

Oy vey, so much clutter!!

Tripler is bummed out
His apartment is a mess
Good luck with cleaning

In The Manner of/
The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy/
‘Worst Haiku Ever!’.

If you please,
I have no haiku style here,
I just have lots of free time.

I once was never from Nantucket. . .

I burning your dog./
Straight Dope Message Board cliche./
When come back, bring pie.

I like this game.

Leave my dog alone
And stop eating my damn pie
Instead have cookies.

It’s like those stories,
where each person adds a bit-
with funny results.

There’s more to Haiku than 5/7/5, though.

hamsters of the dope
my last haiku was sublime
why do you mock me?

If you must sublet
You need to spell out the rules:
“Please, don’t shit on floor.”

“And, if you would stop
Wiping boogers on the wall
That would be super.”

I knew there was a format
just not so rigid .
Who cares? I have beer.

Laundry done, bathroom clean
I leave the kitchen for Tuesday.

This haiku crap,
is harder than I thought,
thank God it doesn’t rhyme.

I cleaned my place too
What happened to the remote?
Did I throw it out?

Rain shrouds the lotus.
Or is it the beer? Patience.
You may write one yet.

Church sign says, “What have you done
With God’s Son?” I say
“He was that way when I found Him.”

I know not haiku.
The next 2 days, I know:
sunshine, barbecue, beer.

Plenty of beer, lots of food
come haiku with me
We’ll call it redneck poetry.

Boob tube: Olympics
Thorpe Phelps Gymnastics, uh-huh
yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn

(way not up to the haiku at my friend’s blog: )

Arose this morning,
made an omelet, had a beer.
Just because I could.

[sub]Okay, that wasn’t in proper haiku format, but what the heck. I’ll call it Trip-ku[/sub]

G’head, gimme your mundane monstrosities put into prose.

Mushrooms are good,
so is the cheese.
Good coffee too.