Whistle Yourself Thin.
It’ll work as long as you don’t stop whistling.
Bacon, Whiskey, Cigarette Diet
Before every meal, eat 3 rocks - the largest you can swallow. Not only does it fill you up and keep you feeling full longer, but in time you won’t be able to ingest any more rocks and, by the rules of the diet, can no longer have food! Winner, winner, can’t eat no dinner!
I can do one better. Whittle Yourself Thin.
When I made 6 gallons of banana wine a few years back, step one involved buying a shopping cart full of bananas. Just for fun I bought a box of cereal as well.
We have a customer who would come in almost every single day and buy an entire basket of bananas, sometimes he’d come back later in the day and do it again. If you’d ask him about it, he’d make some joke about being a monkey (or an Eskimo).
A few months ago I finally asked one of his kids about it. He said that he really did eat all of those and if he didn’t they’d find him on the floor since his legs would cramp up without because his potassium levels were so low. I think he’s also one of those types of people that gets, when he finds something he likes, he likes it a lot. Right now he comes in two or three times a week and buys six or eight of out spinach salads. He’s been doing that for about two years.
The no-cut economy lap band diet: Get a metal belt with a strong clasp. Put it on and make it just a little tight. As it becomes looser, take it in a notch until desired waist size is achieved. You can eat anything you want but you cannot loosen that belt so be careful!
Once I lost 165 pounds in one day.
I kicked my bf out.
The Ranchoth Diet: You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but only while you read through a book of antique crime scene photos.
Guaranteed to either make you lose weight, or become a sociopath within six months!
I was on the Ranchoth diet. I used to try and watch Criminal Minds over breakfast. Big mistake.
It’s your own damn fault diet: Live on sponge cake, boiled shrimp and margaritas.