I’m protesting this riot.
LEGALIZE GRASS YOU CONSERVATIST FASCIST BULLY PIG NAZIS!!
Slings bricks at policemen
(How am I doing so far?)
So THAT’S where’s it’s been!!!
[speaking to bottle]
Oh, sweet bringer of oblivion, how I’ve longed for thee! I live through the day only by the grace of thine divine buzz. Never let us part again, sweet nectar.
[/speaking to bottle]
Thanks for the save, Sledman, I’ll get you some ointment for those burns.
Taking a deep swig from the bottle
Allright, now I’m ready to RIOT
Hey, why does this Everclear taste like fish?
No?
Okay. Let’s go loot the liquor store!
Oh, cool…maybe I can meet some of those “Riot Grrrls” I’ve read so much about. I hope they look like Bif Naked.
“White riot, wanna riot white riot a riot of my own”
The Clash
Odieman chants “Hey hey, ho, ho we won’t go.
He picks up a rock and throws it through a radio playing DR Laura. He runs as the teargas rains down thinking"I’m too old for this stuff”.
Keith
Alright, dears, if we’re throwing a riot, has anyone called the caterers? Sent out invitations? I mean, I don’t even know if this is a formal or casual event! It would be horrifying if Techchick and I showed up in cocktail dresses, and there was SaxFace and Shayna in jeans.
Really, people, get ORGANIZED.
Eve let me help you.
Its potluck (the best meals happen that way)
Word of mouth
And its whatever you feel like throwing on today. (Though I don’t think a cocktail dress and heels would work unless your gonna walk over some people in your stilettos)
Look, Eve, I don’t know how they define “riot” in Mayberry or wherever you are, but where I come from, everyone knows it’s not a formal affair. Usually jackets are required, but it’s not black tie or anything.
And wear whatever you like. I’m sure you look stunning in a cocktail dress, although you may want to wear something a little more suited for running from police, and the smell of the tear gas is gonna be a bitch to get out of anything nice.
Come on we haven’t even flipped and torched a car yet.(Which is the sign of any good riot.)
What happened to Shadowfox…let’s roll that car and burn it!!!
And Eve please don’t wear the cocktail dress. It really slows down a riot when we all have to stop an ogle!!!
(grabs tear gas canister and throws it back at the police.)
Now where is that bullhorn I know we have at least three of them now.
writhing in pain
I think I pulled something trying to flip a Monte Carlo. Next time I’ll start light, an Escort or Neon or something.
I’ll be with you guys in a minute. I’ve got some more bricks to throw and I’ve brewed up some Molotov cocktails, but until the pain goes away, I’m in no shape to hurl anything through windows.
Any medical people here? I’ve never seen a hernia before what does one look like?
Yeeeee-hoooooo! Finally a cause I can embrace! Where’s the bricks? Where’s the stones?
:: frantically looking to Eve for guidance ::
(Attempts to topple Cecil statue in the middle of SDMB Park, giving it a shove. After a couple lame attempts where it doesn’t even budge, walks away.)
Sorry. I’m just not as emotionally invested in this riot as I should be.
(Glances around to see if anyone is looking, grabs a boom box from the broken-out display window at Zotti’s Appliance and slinks away …)
Here, Ellen, dear—I piled the bricks on this side (red) and the stones over here (beige). Even if this IS pot-luck, there’s no reason why we can’t be color coordinated.
If we’re looting, can someone drive me over to Lord & Taylor’s? I MUST get something nice from the Liz Claiborne section!
Where’s DreamWorks? Shouldn’t he be riding through the crowd on his police horse by now?
There aren’t enough rocks for all the Starbucks windows. Who organized this riot? We need more rocks!
Senseless violence! WooHoo!
::Kicks small car, car explodes in flames::
KILL ALL PINTOS!
::Grabs brick, throws it at statue of Cecil. Statue rings like a brass bell, sound hits the resonant frequency of a nearby brick wall. Wall collapses into dust.::
YEAH!
::Paints face with wet brick dust, charcoal. Grabs a stick nearby, sharpens it with pocketknife. Hardens it in fire. Waves it around like madman.::
KILL THE PIG! DRINK ITS BLOOD!
::Steals stereo system, cranks up a Pink Floyd album.::
THE LUNATIC IS ON THE GRASS!
::Runs around breaking windows with homemade spear.::
This FUN! Next I make shield to beat with spear!
::Screams incoherently, begins to go after small birds. They all escape.::
AAAARRRGHHHH!
::At this point the tape became clogged with various…debris. Some of it looks like blood. Tests on blood have proven inconclusive, as it was apparently mixed with various solvents. Once the tape clears up, Dr. Derleth can be heard running into the Red Shark, yelling incoherently about ‘American Dream’ and ‘ether-induced insanity’, although his actions bespeak a psychotropic instead of a depressant.::
Senseless violence! WooHoo!
::Kicks small car, car explodes in flames::
KILL ALL PINTOS!
::Grabs brick, throws it at statue of Cecil. Statue rings like a brass bell, sound hits the resonant frequency of a nearby brick wall. Wall collapses into dust.::
YEAH!
::Paints face with wet brick dust, charcoal. Grabs a stick nearby, sharpens it with pocketknife. Hardens it in fire. Waves it around like madman.::
KILL THE PIG! DRINK ITS BLOOD!
::Steals stereo system, cranks up a Pink Floyd album.::
THE LUNATIC IS ON THE GRASS!
::Runs around breaking windows with homemade spear.::
This FUN! Next I make shield to beat with spear!
::Screams incoherently, begins to go after small birds. They all escape.::
AAAARRRGHHHH!
::At this point the tape became clogged with various…debris. Some of it looks like blood. Tests on blood have proven inconclusive, as it was apparently mixed with various solvents. Once the tape clears up, Dr. Derleth can be heard running into the Red Shark, yelling incoherently about ‘American Dream’ and ‘ether-induced insanity’, although his actions bespeak a psychotropic instead of a depressant.::
EVERYBODY OUTTA THA WAY!
I’m a doctor, says so right in my screen name. Lemme through to Bratman!
Does it hurt when I do this?
:: A screaming Bratman levitates 8 feet into the air and hits the ground with a thud ::
Hmm, medically speaking, we call that a “yes”.
The good news is it’s not a hernia. The bad news is it’s a bad groin pull. Not bad as in severe, but bad as in I’m gonna hafta put you on the DL for the post riot orgy. Sorry, Brat, looks like you’re a martyr now. I’ll send you my bill.
You quack. I want a second opinion! Where’s Shayna? Where’s Ultress? Where’s the chicks in the cocktail dresses? Someone come here and test my groin and prove to the doctor that I’m good to go as far as the post riot orgies are concerned!
:: Steps out onto balcony - grabs microphone ::
Attention SDMB members. You are supposed to be storming the Winter Palace. This is the local Sizzlers. Go down about two blocks and it should be on your left.
:: turns off microphone ::
Now where did I put my machette?