That right there was the moment you should have made a dive for the nearest window. Right between “Livingston” and “Seagull.”
What exactly is Jonathan Livingston Seagull? Is it one of those glurgy things like Chicken Soup for the Soul or Embraced by the Light?
Cheer up, Eve. Why not introduce her to Pwecious Pwincess? 
Hey, I have collectible Barbies!
Damn!
I guess I should be banished from Eve threads?
Wretched. Just wretched.
Now, I’m going to go out on a limb here, and tell you Eve, that you should really let the soul-sucking vampire latch on good and tight before hitting her with the holy water, jamming a clove of garlic in her mouth and then polishing her off with a crucifix shaped stake through the heart. This is the funniest damn thread I’ve read all day, and the Dope needs funny threads (and we’ll really need them the closer we get to November). So do your part.
Think of it as a real life version of My Fair Lady!
Message: Be what you think you were meant to be, and screw they naysayers of whatever caste you were born into, aka, “I’m a falcon trapped in a seagull’s body”.
Neil Diamond wrote the soundtrack to the movie. Title song: “Be”. That’s it. “Be.”
screech “deep, deep down, I’m a whooping crane” -owl
So’s that site you linked to, it kept trying to hijack my browser and make me pay attention to it and not my other windows. Bad, Otto! Bad! Bad!
Holy shit, that sucked.
I kept waiting for him to get sucked into a jet engine. Damn.
See, that makes up for the Collector’s Barbies.
No kidding. Somehow I avoided that piece of crap until now. When it said that he stalled out while flying (in the 3rd paragraph!) I found myself thinking “Good, fall into the ocean. DROWN! Put us both out of our misery!”
Damned if you haven’t hit upon the solution. Eve, you must bring Brandine up in the ways of the sophisticated. Start training her in art, literature, film, dress, and of course “decor.” In six months you take her to the Algonquin and pass her off as a genuine member of the round table.
So I guess now we know the airspeed velocity of an unladen seagull.
There’s got to be a bet with someone too, about if you can pull it off or not.
Okay, I didn’t see this post until I saw AngelicGemma quote it. First thought:
“It’ll be like My Fair Lady all over again!”
What does this mean? Only that I am NOT a totally uncultured hick.
I’m bettin’ she can’t! I’m bettin’ that with all her highfalutin’ edumacation and whatnot Eve won’t be able to stomach it for more than a month! 
(Is that how the bet’s supposed to go? It’s been a long time since I saw My Fair Lady.)
Wispers I’ve never actually seen it. I made that comment based on every other “lets educate/make pretty that girl!” film I’ve seen. Stops wispering
Erm… yeah! Thats exactly how the bet is supposed to go!
Here, Gemma, you dropped your ‘h’.
Rex Harrison as Henry Higgins
On second thought, Eve, if you just call her a squashed cabbage leaf, that ought to do the trick a lot faster.
I meant to do it. Honest!
I’m just teasing you. If you haven’t seen the movie, well, in it Eliza drops her H’s at the beginning when she has a horrible accent.
“Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait!”
Just a silly little joke.
sigh Sometimes I even whoosh myself.