Three cars, three hit-and-runs on the street in three years. What the hell is the matter with people? You drive your car into someone else’s car, that’s not something that you don’t notice. You notice that you just drove your car into someone else’s car, you LEAVE A FRAKKING NOTE with your FRAKKING INSURANCE INFORMATION ON IT. I think you probably noticed the damage - the broken taillight was hanging off, and the rear quarter panel is bashed right in. Not a ding. But nobody was home, so our tough luck, eh? Shit-sucking bastard.
And the worst part - we could have moved the car to the back car pad while we were out of town for the weekend. Just didn’t think of it, so I guess it’s our own goddamned fault for thinking that we could safely park a car on the goddamned street for two days without some numbnuts running right into it.
I have been wanting to leave Calgary for the last year or so. This is really, really not helping.
Okay not as bad as that, but my parents had two cars totaled while parked in fron of their house and one smashed, but not totaled (becuase it was a van and the person only hit the rear bumper) then I had one car totaled in front of my house in a different county.
Well, to be realistic, they probably don’t have any insurance on their car. And may not have a currently valid drivers license, either. I don’t know about Calgary, but here in the US that’s true for around 25% of the vehicles on the road.
Yeah, I thought about that, after I cooled off a little bit. Chances are, it was a bunch of punk-ass kids stealing cars that just banged into ours and drove off into the night. Bastards. You know, I’m getting a whole new respect for the Amish who forgave the guy who slaughtered their children. I’m having a hard time forgiving people who just dent my cars.
How about a magnetic sign on the side of our car that says, “PLEASE DON’T HIT THIS CAR?”
A favourite prank of mine back when I was young and silly was to leave a note like Rico’s on a friend’s undamaged car, then watch from a safe distance as they go nuts trying to find the damage.
Oh, man. I have this hilarious image of featherlou setting up a badly-painted wooden car and crouching in the bushes making the soft “tick-tick-tick” of a cooling engine. (Otherwise known as the “Midsize Sedan Mating Call”.)
All of a sudden, our Hunter sees them: the car bashers. They’re careening merrily down the road, bashing between the two opposing lines of parked cars like a pinball. The Smashers spot featherlou’s decoy and howl in Satanic glee: “Fresh car! Fresh car!” They swerve toward it only to shriek in fear as featherlou leaps from the shrubbery, Samurai sword in hand and murder in his eye. . .
One week 8-10 years ago my grandmother and mother both had cars crash into their yard. My grandmother lives on a quiet dead-end street, and in the middle of the night a drunk driver came crashing probably 100 feet through her yard, somehow avoiding most of the trees and flower beds.
My mother’s visitor a few days later somehow got her Volvo into the yard over or through a 3 foot tall chain-link fence, leaving the fence perfectly intact. Either she drove through the fence and it popped perfectly back into place, or the lady somehow hit the curb just right to jump OVER the fence. Of course they had to dismantle part of the fence to tow the car out, it was weird. No damage except a scraped front sidewalk.
I like the idea of a decoy car. Go to the junkyard and get something suitably nice looking, but with nothing else going for it. Have it towed to a spot just up the street from where you usually park. Fill the tires with cement. Reinforce the bumpers with steel. Any time it gets hit just have it towed to a shop where they can bang out the dents, repaint it, and put it back.
Hmm, all good ideas. I like the idea of putting the sign on a neighbour’s car. Heck, I like the idea of parking in front of a neighbour’s house. Or maybe on a neighbour’s front yard (they won’t find my car there, right?) I don’t know what I’d say to someone I caught trying to run away after hitting my car; I’d like to think I’d be coherent and rational, but there might be a few four-letter friend-getters slipping out.
Hey, instead of the decoy, how about an armoured shield for the car on three sides? One that retracts into the road when not in use. Yeah, baby. What the city doesn’t know won’t harm them. We’ll dig at night.
