I remember being a little kid and waiting for the Rapture. I always tried to be a good, non-sinning kid so that I could get into Heaven. After awhile I just got bored and said screw it. I’ve sinned like crazy since then and Jesus still hasn’t showed up.
But Jesus will only return when nobody expects it. So, if they expect it, he won’t return. The more they prophecy that he is returning now, the more that keeps him away. Don’t they see? It has to be a surprise!
That reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw:
JESUS IS COMING (Look busy!)
I meant for the second time.
The full verse is Matthew 16:28 “Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.”
Yeah, CRorex, but then He went to heaven, promising that He would return (from heaven) someday. Presumably at that point this earth will either end, or endure for 1000 years and then end, or whatever theory you want to cook up from Revelation. I’m not sure how the grocery stores fit into this, though. 
Velma, that’s my theory exactly.
But wouldn’t a while(0) loop terminate immediately? (I’m assuming you wanted a forever loop.)
Well, I don’t know about you guys, but until someone starts trying to tatoo foreheads and hands, I’m saying the times are not upon us…
If you want to follow new-age concepts, then how about the Nostradamus one? He predicted two more popes, so we’ve got at least that long, LOL.
"Okay, Jesus, it’s Monday, and you’re not here, so I expect you to come Tuesday. But if I expect you to come Tuesday, then you won’t come tomorrow, because it wouldn’t be a surprise. So you must be coming on Wednesday. But tomorrow, when you aren’t here, I’ll expecting you the next day, so you can’t come that day.
“Aw, shit, man, just execute me and get it over with.”
“Yes, that’s just what the Hebrews thought.”
So, basically the End Times scholars just want to make money in God’s name. Is greed God’s plan?
Man, it sounds like Jesus and my plumber have a lot in common. You never know when either of them will get here.
Alright, get it while its hot!
**End of the World Betting Pool **
Pick your square, lay down your bet.
Winner closest to the actual EOTW will win the pool ( house taking ten percent.)
HAH and Double HAR-DEE HAR HAR.
You must make this a bumper sticker.
Have all y’all read Heinlein’s Job: A Comedy of Justice? This kind of stuff actually scares me, thinking that we’re all going to live in a world where fun is a sin. “Putting the “fun” back in “fundamentalist””. Ha.
I like the way the guy in the margin art is looking up at the “Manage My Account” button with an expression of befuddled dread.
Maybe it was about Hitler-think about it!
He had people forcibily tattooed-the JEWS, and like, he was evil and stuff. And he tried to take over the world.
So like Hitler was the Antichrist.
I had to sign up. The end times are here. I see the signs everywhere. There are only heels in my bag of Wonder bread. I bought a pack of Newports and there were only butts in it. It snowed in April in New York. My cat is right now sleeping with my dog. My husband found a parking spot right outside the front door of our apartment building.
Oh, crap.
I’m going to Hell for laughing at this thread, aren’t I?
Oh, crap.
I’m going to Hell for laughing at this thread, aren’t I? No Rapture for me!
I think that this gif is the appropriate response.
