Oh good Lord... (Loony Tenant)

I was talking with some of the people at our apartment building today, and one of them told me he just joined a worldwide movement called the Realist’s Political Party. He told me he would email me more information.

I just got the email. I had to share this with you. Spelling and grammar are unchanged from the original.

He will be presenting this before the City Council next week, demanding they approve this agenda. I just may go to enjoy the hilarity.

Like, wow, man!
I may need to put on my tie-dyes and bell bottoms and move out where you live!

If money, drugs, and energy are all free, who gives a fuck if abundance is affordable. Everything is affordable, dumbass! Money is free, remember?

Unfortunately I can think of 3 people that are like that. Two of them went to jail a few months ago, and of course refused representation. They will be locked up for a while. The other one I haven’t seen for a few years and his business went under. I know I didn’t patronize the guy after I didn’t have to.

Hmmm? Only one hit on Google.

As the Nigerian scammers learned ages ago, writing in all caps increases effectiveness exponentially.

At least he’s not some sort of survivalist gun nut.

The first two are common to radical crazy people who have no concept of Economics mixed with a strong sense of Entitlement.

Had that discussion with someone I knew briefly several years ago. He thought that the Government should just GIVE everyone whatever money they thought they needed to live the lifestyle they wanted to live. That only people who really wanted to work should have to work. Everyone else should just take their free money and play all day.

:eek:

Well. Let us know how it all turns out! If computers still exist and the sun is allowed to rise, that is.

Yikes! you might have mentioned that the link includes loud, obnoxious music.

It’s like the Dr Bronner’s Soap Party.

ALL-ONE!

I shall grade these ten planks of the good party’s platform using purple “ink.” The grades are the quality of their idea along with the presentation IMHO, it’s not what I would expect in a poll.

REALISTS POLITICAL PARTY AGENDA:

  1. MONEY IS FREE! DRUGS ARE FREE! ENERGY IS FREE! WE ARE FREE!!!
    60% This might score higher if placed farther down on the list, but your going to lose some of your audience mentioning free drugs. I’d use “medicine” because it has a wider appeal. Otherwise, pretty cool sounding goals if you can make it happen. Sounds like you’re high on something other than happy thoughts.
  2. ABUNDANCE IS AFFORDABLE AND IS YOUR RIGHT!
    70% C’mon… who can’t get behind this? You have a right to life and liberty. Abundance is part of the “property” part, and you only have the right to pursue it. That means actual work of some kind. And you put it in all-caps, 10% deduction.
  3. A POLITICIANS ONLY JOB IS TO PLACE PUBLIC ISSUES UP FOR VOTE, ALL MUST AGREE OR NOTHING IS DONE ~they still only count for one vote!!!
    35% Fail. Some of the words make sense in small clusters here, but this makes no fucking sense. Plus “ALL MUST AGREE”? Have you even gotten a group larger than your family to agree on something? Saddam Hussein mandated a 100% victory at the polls.
  4. THE ELITIST WAR IS OVER! NO MORE PROFITEERING AT THE EXPENSE OF THE POOR!
    90% A simple, laudable goal. Can we stop with the ALL-CAPS already? 10% penalty
  5. PEOPLE ARE THE GOVERNMENT THAT RULES, NEVER FORGET, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS!
    60% Two good tenets, but don’t quite make the best sense put together like this, and the “NEVER FORGET” sounds belligerant. All this talk about “ruling” goes against the small government you seem to be suggesting.
  6. THE SUN WILL NOT RISE UNLESS THE PREVIOUS DAYS DEBTS HAVE BEEN PAID IN FULL!
    25% Fail. Living debt-free sounds good, but there is good debt and bad debt. The one thing I agree with Alexander Hamilton about is the need for a reasonable national debt. Plus, you don’t even get to the debt part of the sentence until you’ve got the image of the government declaring the sun will not rise the following day for whatever reason.
  7. POLITICIANS WILL BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR ALL PROMISES OR SAY NOTHING!
    85% In an ideal world they would be, huh? This sentence gets confusing at the end with an extra idea tacked on.
  8. MACHINES CAN NOT EXIST UNLESS THEY ARE SUSTAINABLE AND SELF SUFFICIENT!
    30% Fail. We have been reliant on “machines” since they were used to create the dawn of civilization. It’s not a good idea to even sound like you’re for destroying all machines. I think the second part means to say “evironmentally friendly,” but it sounds more like the bad guys in The Matrix. This is confusing. Stupid… and confusing.
  9. PEACE IS THE RULE OF THE DAY, EVERYONE IS WELCOME AT HOME!
    80% I deducted points first because it sounds kinda Hippie-ish, but still a nice idea. Second, what’s with all the Exclamation points? I think you used up you quota in Number 1 up there alone. -10%
  10. SPIRITUALITY OVER RULES RELIGION
    0% Fail. I have to grade using my personal political ideology, so I don’t want any God-damned talk of religion or anything remotely similar to religion anywhere near my government. Plus, I don’t think “Spirituality” is any better than “Religion” anyway.

PLEASE EXTEND YOUR SUPPORT! THE TIME IS NOW!!! GET USED TO IT OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES IMMEDIATELY!!!
Bonus Points?? NO!!! What the hell is this? A threat? Either way I’m going to deduct points here: [SIZE=4]-20%[/SIZE]

Final verdict: 53.5% Fail. Oh, so close to that coveted D- that’s required to become a national Third Party. Good or bad, all of these plank positions are pipe dreams, wishful thinking, and/or unattainable dreams. Some are rewordings of standard lofty-goal positions of existing politicians. On top of that it uses confusing wording and All-fucking-CAPS! Aaahh! :mad:
I see that other posters have discovered your whopping presence on the internet, with annoying graphics and music to boot. Music is the worst sin online, dude. Was this written while stoned, man?

Wait for, oh…15 minutes or so.

Better still-wait 14 minutes, then dive for hard cover.

What’s wrong with survivalist gun nuts? You trying to pick a fight with me? :stuck_out_tongue:

That reminds me…I haven’t been over to your guys’ boards in a while.

I’d just like to know what power they have to keep the sun from rising.

I have worked in rental property management for decades and one of my sayings is “Crazy people have to live somewhere too.”

He’s just mandated an end to all physical constraints in his very first plank. How much harder could it be to dump all of the Earth’s angular momentum and turn it into Pure Energy Hair Beads?

I think you should have that tenant’s room/apartment/house/whatever re-tested for lead.