Spanking is a viable means of delivering the message that you don’t approve of the child’s action.
I’m not sure it’s a viable means of discipline, all the kid learns is not to do the thing that led to the spanking when you’re around.
I would also like to hear the answer to this question from people who are pro-spanking.
I never really thought much about spanking. My parents did spank (including the occasional wooden spoon or hairbrush and once the dreaded "pick your own switch). I do think I turned out okay. Now, I have a 20 month old.
I am not allowed to spank my annoying coworker. I am not allowed to swat the annoying jerk talking in the theater. I’m not allowed to hit the person who cuts me off in traffic.
Why am I allowed, actually ENCOURAGED to hit a small defenseless child who loves me and trusts me implicitly?
I haven’t spanked him and hope never to do so. When he’s doing something naughty, I redirect or remove the temptation. Yesterday at the park, he didn’t want to hold my hand while going down the stairs. Fine, you don’t get to walk down the stairs by yourself, mommy carries you.
When you are around? Then you have not raised them correctly no matter your discipline method IMO. 
Question for all:
Anybody changed their mind about their behavior because of this thread. :rolleyes:
If my spouse kept doing something that I felt had a large probability in resulting in him getting badly physically hurt, and he didn’t seem to understand or follow what I said verbally to that effect, why yes, I’d resort to physical action.
…Most grownup infractions don’t fall into that category. The only thing I can think of is maybe if my husband were half asleep and not quite acting like himself?
(I would probably not actually spank my husband. But I would much rather spank a child than hit him or her forcefully on the arm or shove him/her in the shoulder, which is what I would do to an adult in that situation. I’d think there would be a FAR greater possibility of injury in doing that than in spanking the child in a “padded” region.)
I am in no way saying it’s okay to beat a child. When I say “spanking” I mean hard enough to sting, not hard enough to leave a mark or hurt more than ten seconds later. And I only sanction it as a last resort for a very young child that is repeatedly doing something physically dangerous that a) for some reason can’t be dealt with by removal or changing the situation (which most can), and b) is something the child knows not to do. (And, as I’ve said, I’ve never spanked my daughter and intend never to. But I still don’t have a problem with the entire concept of spanking.)
There is always hope…otherwise why does ANYONE post to any topic on this board?:dubious:
Now, the interesting thing is, I was spanked on occasion as a child, and I don’t particularly feel bad about that, or upset with my parents. What I remember very strongly and negatively from my childhood is being screamed at and being shamed.
THAT I am NOT a fan of doing to a poor little defenseless kid. (I wouldn’t do it to discipline my spouse or at work, either, to apply your metric.) I think it is far worse than spanking. ETA: especially the shaming part. A light smack on the butt is nothing compared to emotional shaming that still makes my stomach knot up as an adult.
I admit to my shame that I’ve yelled at my kid (though not shamed her) a couple of times, and bitterly regretted it each time.
I readily admit that screaming at a child, or belittling them, or emotionally manipulating them, is a lot more abusing than occasionally popping them one. Kids will get over an occasional smack, as long as the parents are otherwise loving.
Still, if I gave my wife an occasional smack–hard enough to sting but not hard enough to leave a bruise–she could get over that as well. But why should she have to?
I also wouldn’t scream at my wife, or shame her, or emotionally manipulate her, which in my mind would be worse than smacking her occasionally.
Throw a handful of water on the burner. It’s very dramatic.
Show him how it cooks meat, or melts plastic.
Take his hand and bring it slowly closer and closer. It will be uncomfortably hot before it is injury level hot.
Show him how to use it to cook. He probably doesn’t want to be cooked up for dinner.
If he can’t follow the kitchen safety rules, he can’t be in the kitchen.
Physically restraining someone is not the same as hitting them. I do think toddlers should be physically restrained (e.g. holding your hand) when walking near highways, crossing roads, in car parks and in other dangerous places.
I really hope she learned how to be an adult before you had to scorn her into it.
You didn’t know me and my cousins. 
Hell I’ll bite, I’m not pro spanking though however I do think in limited situations it is the only option.
I wouldn’t spank my wife because she knows better than to do risky potentially fatal things, there would be no point in spanking her because it isn’t needed. I don’t spank for disagreement or disobedience.
But after days of talking, instructing, cajoling, etc and I wake up and go pee and my wife is in the kitchen making coffee and I come back to the bedroom to find my two year old has ignored everything and leap up and moved a dresser, piece of plywood, removed bungee cords and opened a bay window and is leaning out of it trying to grab a tree branch with a 40 foot drop.
Yea that is spanking time.
What kills me is that so many people who say “Long-term emotional damage from being hit with a belt/switch/wooden spoon/other? Balderdash!” are the same ones who say “My child will be instantly and permanently damaged if they see a tasteful nude, or listen to certain kinds of music, or encounter a same-sex couple! Stop this corruption!”
This whole thread reminds me of the western horse trainer Dave Jones, who told an anecdote in one of his books about how hard it was to get his young cowboys to stop hitting and spurring the colts to make them do what they wanted, instead of developing a relationship based on trust. There was only only horse they wouldn’t do that to, this old horse who, if you hit him or spurred him, would whip his neck around and bite the shit out of your leg. For some reason the cowboys never mistreated this particular horse.
I have heard innumerable stories to the effect of, my old man stopped hitting me the day I realized I could hit back.
I guess that has nothing to do with hitting a toddler, does it.
Soul of graciousness, you are.
I think the point is that I wouldn’t have married someone who as an adult is so non-functional they try to touch moving cars in the street, so it is a nonsensical question.
I have very limited situations where I use spanking on my child, and they simply don’t apply to a spouse so the comparison is non-existant. I don’t hit my wife for “disobeying me” and I wouldn’t hit my child either.
However a toddler is not yet functional enough to know the consequences of such behavior.
I don’t think any of that is true, I don’t care if my son sees nude people or hears curse words of sees a same sex couple. I wouldn’t let him see violent or extreme porn, just because I don’t want him to think that is human sexuality in its normal state, but all the rest doesn’t bother me.
Fear works. Hitting your kid is just giving him something to be afraid of.
So he learns not to repeat that behavior because he’s afraid that you will hurt him. Even if you do it in such a way that it doesn’t actually hurt, the threat is that it will.
All this bulltish about ‘learning discipline’ is just that - it’s bullying. Does the kid also learn discipline from the school thug who punches him? Sure, he learns the discipline to give that kid his lunch money every day.
grude, if I’d meant any specific person in this thread, I would have used their name.
I didn’t think you meant me in particular, I was just offering a counter example to your statement that is all.
And before someone asks if I let my four year old watch non-violent or non-extreme porn, of course not. I was just saying that would be the only concern I’d have if he were accidentally exposed to some or nudity.