it’s a pity you couldn’t just say that certain foods don’t agree with you every time your IBS comes up instead of giving us the gory details. different strokes i suppose.
re picky eaters, they really come across as childish to me. i don’t mean people who just don’t like a certain food, and i’m far from a foodie myself. but if your pickiness is so bad that you can’t ever find a restaurant to eat at, or you can’t attend a dinner party or a business lunch without there being a possible issue, that’s a problem.
someone said it upthread- what may be precious and cute and quirky when you’re 6 is not so when you’re 25. everyone has foods they don’t like, and that’s fine. if, however, your eating habits are causing you to have to rearrange your life to accommodate them, you may want to try broadening your horizons a bit. i like chicken nuggets just as much as the next doper, but they’re on the kids menu for a reason.
I’m not sure what the difference is to you. Why would it be okay for me to refuse to go out for pizza because I don’t want hives from eating the sauce (this is unfortunately true, ftr) but would not be okay if instead I just thought tomatoes were really gross? Either way I wouldn’t be eating the pizza no matter how many times you suggested it, and in my case I won’t eat anything else made at a pizza shop either, because contact with the slightest trace of sauce is enough to produce hives, so that’s even more restictive than your average picky eater. I just don’t see why a person you eat with is obliged to give you a good enough reason to turn something down.
My theory: because if you can’t eat it, you’re not insulting the cook. If you don’t want to eat it, you are insulting the cook. I think many people/circles expect you to eat what you are given and at least pretend to like it, even if you don’t.
It’s a pity you can’t write like an adult when so many people have mentioned how annoying it is. Perhaps you should worry about what you do that annoys people rather than worry about how other people annoy you.
let it go. really. i think my writing style is more palatable than explosive diarrhea, but i’m willing to accept i may be alone in that assessment. just put me on ignore like you said you were going to do when i first joined and we’ll both be happier. take care.
If I say, “No, thanks” I’m not obligated to say why. Actually, whenever I hear an explanation for why a person doesn’t want to eat something, I instantly think, “Oh goodness. WHO THE FUCK CARES?”
I don’t have any allergies, tolerances, or religious beliefs about food. And I’m not a picky eater either. But I’m not going to do anything too many times that I don’t want to do, just to fit in. Too many people do crap just so as not to be the odd man out, and then they later regret it. It’s a sign of immaturity to go along with the crowd. It takes guts to say “no, thanks” and stick to it. People should try new things, sure. But having tried it, they should be free to turn it down without people sniffing their noses at them. There’s nothing more annoying than someone who insists and won’t take no for an answer.
Getting bent out of shape because person doesn’t like the same things as you is immature, too. The name-calling can go both ways, if we want to play that game.
Part of the reason for my divorce was his picky eating habits. I’ve always enjoyed trying new foods and restaurants and after 5 years of marriage I couldn’t take it anymore. Of course there were many other reasons for the split, but we were just incompatible in too many ways. His whole family was the same way. Meat and potatoes, that’s it. I really enjoy cooking, but I stopped since he had an issue with every dish I made.
To the OP, I already sense resentment starting to build with this girl you’re seeing. She won’t change. Her rules about food are ridiculous. I’d quit while you’re ahead. You can invite me over for dinner anytime. A home cooked meal is always appreciated.
The fact is that part of social interaction is eating with people, and part of it is sometimes keeping your personal preferences about food to yourself so that others in your group can make free decisions without having to be concerned about that one person in the group whose tastes are so restricted that he or she constantly has to be worked around.
It’s not a matter of getting bent out of shape because a person doesn’t like the same things as me. It’s a matter of a person having such immaturely narrow tastes in food that it affects the decisions of the people in his or her social circle. If you’re not that kind of person, then you needn’t worry about defending that position.
It doesn’t matter what you like or what you don’t like, so long as scores of people don’t have to keep track of those preferences. And if you’re the person always eating bread and water, because you don’t like anything except macaroni and cheese and chicken strips, then it’s not just a matter of “I like what I like.”
Does she have any health issues that contribute to her fussiness? I ask because, like Lynn, I’ve had IBS, I’ve been stubborn and fearful of trying new things, I’ve had a lot of ingredients I won’t eat at all costs, and - most relevantly - I’ve had frustrated friends and family dismiss me as “picky” and the IBS as “an excuse”. Unlike Lynn, I’ve recovered from the IBS and a whole new world has opened before me. Finally I can “just try a little” without the fear that I’ll suffer for weeks, finally I can go out for a meal without experiencing crippling social humiliation as I exclude half a dozen eateries and 90% of a menu, finally I can eat food I haven’t prepared myself and not have to worry about my body wreaking retribution on me. It’s awesome! And without IBS making me fearful and timid, I’ve discovered I’m not actually all that fussy. I always thought it was part IBS, part character flaw but take away the IBS and, yeah, I’ll give that a go. Hallalujah! Life is good!
Perhaps she’s purely fussy. But if she does have an invisible condition like IBS, try to have a little compassion. You’d be hesitant to try new things too if you experienced debilitating stomach cramps (and worse) for days or weeks afterward.
You can easily remedy your annoying attribute. I can feel sorry for someone with horrible digestive problems. I don’t feel sorry for someone who chooses to appear semi-illiterate.
When you said saying “no, thanks” too many times is a sign of immaturity, I thought you were saying a person shouldn’t say “no, thanks” too many times in general. I wasn’t thinking of a person who makes such a big deal of their dislikes that they become a pain in the neck.
I can think of plenty cases where saying “no, thank you” all the time could paint someone as the weirdo, but not an immature weirdo. Like, if the gang always wants to hang out at the smoke-filled bar, I’m gonna be the “no, thanks” person. I don’t care what kind of drip that makes me. Chances are those aren’t my kind of people anyway and I don’t care what they think.
If you’re talking about a person who draws lots of attention to their lack of partaking and doesn’t even try to experience new things, I totally agree with you. But that’s a little different from just saying “no, thanks” IMHO.
Unless the gal in the OP has an actual medical issue (allergies, IBS, whatever) she does seem to be incredibly picky and rude.
Hell, I do in fact have a medical issue that limits my diet but I still try new foods and keep trying to expand my palate to the extent I’m able to do so.
The problem with having a legit medical problem, though, is as follows:
The people who don’t believe you.
The people who attempt to prove you wrong by deliberately hiding problem foods in with everything else (Thank you for the trip to the ER… NOT!)
The people for whom stating “I’m sorry, I have X” is not sufficient, they actually DO want the gory details.
I’m currently struggling a bit with this at work, with a very nice boss who apparently lives largely on pizza and Mexican-American food. With an allergy to tomatoes that can send me to the hospital and an intolerance to corn that … well, Lynn Bodoni’s description of IBS symptoms is somewhat on target, even if it’s not IBS. She just can not wrap her head around the fact that, for me, her favorite foods might as well be poison.
On the other hand, given that my skin was in vivid “bloom” when she hired me she doesn’t doubt I’m allergic… it’s just I don’t think she’s spent much time around someone who really, absolutely, can NOT eat certain foods without drastic consequences.
On the other hand, I try to be as polite as possible when dealing with social meals, going so far as to offer to cook meals for my mother-in-law that we both could eat and enjoy (she was vegetarian). My spouse helped me locate a Mexican restaurant that had choices that were safe for me so when he had a hankering for Mexican we could go to the restaurant together. There are polite ways to deal with a highly restricted diet. It doesn’t sound like that’s happening in the OP.
first of all, i was being sincere when i responded to your comment and was trying to be polite, so the sarcasm is unnecessary. second of all, i don’t write in leet/chat/text speak, so i’m not sure who you’re parodying here. third of all, i’ll respond to no more comments regarding my writing here as to not derail yet another thread over a writing style that other posters use, but that only i get comments on. if you want to make a thing about it, start your own thread. otherwise, let it go.
I haven’t given the gory details in this thread. I have given the very basic details.
And the reason I say that I have a specific symptom is because many people think that if I say that a food doesn’t agree with me, that I mean that I’ll experience a bit of heartburn for half an hour. It’s nothing that mild, and it’s nothing that short. It’s not a matter of me not liking a food. I’ve been served food that had grated raw onion in it, and because I had a cold and couldn’t taste it, I ate it. With explosive results. The person that gave me that stuff always thought that I was just a picky eater, and that she was going to show me how foolish I was. Instead, she was appalled to find out that I had to live on oatmeal for a couple of weeks because of her little joke on me.
I wish that I COULD experiment with new foods. However, bitter experience has taught me otherwise.
It’s a bigger pity people can’t accept that someone doesn’t eat certain things without it turning into a discussion of what’s wrong with that person and turn not liking the same things they do into some sort of personality flaw/moral failing. Sometimes you have to go into graphic detail to make people understand that you’re not being petty/silly/childish/insert insult found in this thread to not eat something they offer.
And sometimes, after years and years of having the same goddamn conversation ad infinitum, you start cutting out the middle man and go straight to the endpoint. I’ve gotten to that point with cilantro, because I’ve found that unless I’m very graphic about just how disgusting it tastes people will persist in chucking the foul shit all over the communal serving dish. If I’m graphic, most folks will at least try to take me out a portion before they befoul the rest. Otherwise I gag down a little for politeness, and then get fast food or make a sandwich later.
(Mind, I save this for appropriate venues like general cooking discussions or when someone is rudely giving me the the third degree about why I’m not eating much.)
As for continuing to eat something you’re “meh” or “blech” about in hopes of developing a taste for it, I think that’s really only a reasonable expectation if someone’s diet is SERIOUSLY limited. If someone has a moderately wide range of things they truly enjoy, it makes no sense for them to keep wasting their time, energy, and calorie allotment on things they don’t like. If they choose to do so to please you, that’s awesome and you should be appropriately appreciative. If they don’t choose to do so, that’s a reasonable and respectable choice and you should treat it as such.
I’d never had them served with the heads. If I had been prepared for it I like to think I could have gone on with the meal but it was just too much of a shock.
take care.
tAk3 kaIr LOLzzz