The thread about songs glorifying rotten behaviour made me realize I’d been mishearing Bruce Springsteen for years.
“Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack” I’d heard for years as
“Got a wife and kids, were holding me back.”
Shrug No daddy of the year award, either way.
[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry]
My sister: “Baldheaded woman…”
The Bee Gees: “More than a woman…”
[/QUOTE]
Coffeespouse: "Potato woman . . . "
also: “Can’t find the butterman . . . "
Pearl Jam: Can’t find a better man . . .”
I think potato woman and butterman should get together; it’s a match made in heaven.
[QUOTE=Justin Credible]
Gina works a diner all day?
[/QUOTE]
I always thought this was “Gina wants to die of old age”, which somehow seemed in keeping with the song.
I also thought “Tommy used to work on the docks” was “Tommy gets to work on the dot”. You know, like he’s really punctual. That one I knew couldn’t be right!
[QUOTE=SlickRoenick]
I just found out last year that Pearl’s Jam song “Jeremy” does not go:
Jeremy’s smo-king graaaass t’daaaayy
(it really goes: Jeremy spoke in claaaass t’daaaayy)
. . .Dammit Vedder, would it kill you sing clearer?
[/QUOTE]
Seriously. I used to think that “Even Flow” was “Even Though.”
For years I thought Whitney Houston was singing “Climb every woman” instead of “I’m every woman.” In my defense, I usually heard this song at the dyke bar and it made contextual sense.
A guy I knew in high school told me he embarrassed himself badly at a pep rally one Friday while singing along with the band, which was playing “Hot Stuff” (by Donna Summer).
He was singing along enthusiastically, “Sittin’ here gettin’ a hard-on, baby…” when some girls turned to stare. He was pretty embarrassed to find out that the lyrics are really, “Sittin’ here eatin’ my heart out waitin’…” :o
I suppose it didn’t help that I fell apart laughing the moment he told me the words he’d sung. 
[QUOTE=Jenny Haniver]
So does anyone else tend to like their own lyrics better than the real ones?
[/QUOTE]
I was sad when my husband told me the real line in “Wonderful World” was * “Bright blessed day, dark sacred night.”* Instead of * “Bright blessed day, dogs say goodnight.”* My version depicts a world that’s just a little bit more wonderful.
My brother Sam heard a line in Eric Clapton’s “Change the World” as “I will be the sunlight in your uterus.”
And speaking of “Across the Universe,” I’m surely not the only one who wondered why the Beatles were singing about an Australian cowboy (“Jackaroo Dave”).
[QUOTE=Dr. Rieux]
My brother Sam heard a line in Eric Clapton’s “Change the World” as “I will be the sunlight in your uterus.”
[/QUOTE]
Good god, talk about the “Sunshine of Your Love”!