I have a couple:
“Margaritaville”, by Jimmy Buffet
Correct lyric: “Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt”
What I hear: “Searchin’ for that outlaw shaker of salt”
“Tangled Up in Blue”, by Bob Dylan
Correct lyric: “We split up on a dark, sad night both agreeing it was best”
What I hear: “We split up on the docks that night both agreeing it was best”
mmm
Great. I’ve been mishearing one of my fave songs for 40 years
:smack:
Oh well, what else can you expect when it’s Bob Dylan.
“Singapore” by Tom Waits
What he says: “I’ve dangled from a rope of sand”
What I hear: “I’ve dangled from a rope of sin”
There are several places in this song where it’s easy to mishear what he’s saying, so I think he does it on purpose (tawny Moor/tawny whore, as well as the “jerk off to the Land of Nod”/plain old jerking off part). I really like “rope of sin” better than “rope of sand” though.
Shelter from the storm by Bob Dylan
His lyric: Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn
my lyrics: Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged to the core.
I don’t know if it makes it better or not…
but growing up I heard this line from Eye of the Tiger “Did my time, took my chances” as “took my dime, took my ten cents”
Which totally made sense to me… He was on the streets and completely penniless… they had taken literally everything. But he’s still there, and still fighting.
Dylan again, from “Jokerman”
His: Half asleep near the stars with a small dog licking your face
Mine: Half asleep near the stars with a small dark look on your face
Seriously, Dylan?
Nina Gordon “Tonight and the Rest of My Life”
Correct lyrics (chorus): “I feel so light”
What I thought I heard: “I feel so alive.”
crickets
Oh c’mon, cut me some slack, not all of us had Dylan when we were seventeen!
“Games People Play” – sorry, I don’t know the artist’s name offhand.
Actual:
Probably more pretentious than better, but made sense to me at the time in a too literal “guy’s holding himself down” kind of way: Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise
He sings: I’m an educated fool with money on my mind.
I hear: I’m an educated fool with my knee on my mind.
Kesha’s “Blow”:
Correct lyric: Let me see them hands
What I hear: Let me see them Hanes (as in Hanes underwear). I’m pretty certain she did this intentionally.
The one I always list is from Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose”:
Original lyric: “…a kiss from a rose on the gray.”
My version: “”…a kiss from a rose on the grave."
I think it’s at once more somber and more hopeful.
Blinded by the Light like a douche in the night.
douche being a jerk or unlikeable person. a douche bag. Not the more common medical meaning.
I thought that was the correct lyric for 20 years. I found out differently when the internet posted song lyrics. I’d sing douche, if I were to sing it at a party. Then tell anybody that asked I pronounced it deuce. 
Deuce is just an awkward word and hard to sing. Even Manfred Mann garbles the vowels and make it sound like douche. Some think they sing Whoosh. Deuce is just a terrible word to force somebody to sing.
Queen - We Will Rock You
second verse:
Their lyrics:
Buddy you’re a young man, hard man
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on your face, you big disgrace
Wavin’ your banner all over the place
What I hear:
Buddy you’re a young man, hard man
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on your face, you big disgrace
Wavin’ your pecker all over the place
Youngbloods - Get together
Original “We will surely pass…”
Mine “Evil surely pays…”
The way I understand Blinded:
Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night
As in Deuce coupe
Not that mysterious
Sure, If you know there once was a car called a deuce coup. There’s no problem. They haven’t existed since the early 1950’s.
I’m not entirely sure what they were. A homemade hot rod? They chopped the body of a Model A and swapped the motor, I think. Not sure and I grew up in the 70’s.
Little Deuce Coupe is a song by the Beach boys, even tho it was the B side of Surfer Girl, it independently got to #15 Billboard in 1963. It’s pretty well known.
From Bowie’s Suffragette City, I always heard
“This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place”
as
“This mellow fat chick just put my spine out of place”
which personally I like much better, I like the idea of the happy plump groupie squashing emaciated rock stars.
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”
“Let’s not bring the pasta anymore.”
“Want you to know: I love you, man.”
From the Boston song Rock n Roll Band:
“When I hear you on the car radio, you’ll be a sensation.”
I heard:
“When I hear you all in Carnegie Hall, you’ll be a sensation.”
I think mine is better if only because it rhymes internally.