Oh, sweet karma.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

On my way to work each morning, the tram stops at a ‘super stop’, where a mad old bloke from the tram company does an entertaining job of directing the commuters onto said tram. He’s an old wog with a big voice who likes to tell people off who are getting in the wrong doors, and especially enjoys berating people for clogging up the entrances when there’s plenty of room in the aisles. People take his admonishment with grace and mumbled apologies and big smiles, and mostly do as they’re told (unless the tram is packed, and then some give him as much mouth back as he gives them…)

Anyway, he was in fine form this morning (Mondays are his most theatrical days) and he started in on some dumb chick who was standing in the doorway. There WAS heaps of room up the tram, but she decided to be an ignorant and haughty sluzza, and did a marvellous sniffing routine, implying that such requests were so far beneath her dignity that they didn’t warrant complying with. I mean, here was HE, a lowly guard, and she, prolly a junior clerical assistant or something, was naturally his social superior. She did sniff with conviction, I must say.

So she didn’t move, and all of us on the tram sucked in our breaths and gave her seriously disapproving stares over our morning papers. You just don’t diss the old mad wog at the tram stop. He’s ours and we love him.

At the next stop there was the usual mass exodus of suits, but Ms MyShitDon’tStink was still standing by the doorway sorta blocking the exit. And as they poured out the door, there reverberated through the tram, the most BLOOD-CURDLING GIRLIE-SCREAM I have ever heard.

She was moaning and groaning and holding her foot in her hands, some crocodile tears were squeezing their way out, and it was a wonderful sight to behold. Someone behind me tittered, then another, and before long half the tram was desperately trying to hold back the tears too…of laughter.

I dunno whether somebody had accidently stepped on her toes (she was in the way afterall) or whether somebody had decided to re-educate our young madam in the finer points of social and commuter politeness, but whatever the case it was divine justice.

Hope her pinkies hurt all bloody day. :smiley:

2

Oh yeah, its sweet when stuff like that happens. Especially when it doesn’t happen to me. :slight_smile:

3

In my home town, there’s a retired railway man who likes to go to the train station when the big trains are coming. He looks at people’s tickets and tells them where their car will stop, more or less. He’s well dressed, clean, spry.

I’ve seen some people who thought there was not reason to do what the old geezer said and haul their asses some 70 yards outside the covered area. He’ll repeat “you’re on 2, that’s the first car, you have to go all the way to the end” and they’ll just look blankly at him. Some will grab their handbags closer. He just shakes his head, shrugs and goes on giving indications.

The train arrives and yes, car #2 is aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way down. And there goes this family, leeeediez an’ yent’lmen, running as if the Station Chef would let the train go without them, will they make it? Will they make it? Yes! They made it! Attention, lediez an’ yent’lmen, while they load everything onto the train in a huffin’, puffin’ hurry! Hooray, they made it!

And the people leaving the station give the old guy a nod and a smile, and a look toward the spot where car #2 stops, and he smiles and shrugs and rolls his eyes heavenward.

Silly out-of-towners, mistaking their guardian angel for some sort of bum.

4

Karma is kind of nifty that way.

My boyfriend almost got run off the road by some bitch driving a Mustang one day, going at least twice the (65 mph) speed limit. The boy was muttering under his breath about how she was going to cause an accident if she kept up like that.

About five minutes later traffic slows to a crawl, and he sees why - the Mustang got into a single-car accident, wrapping itself around a light pole of some sort, because it was going too fast. The woman was injured but alive.

Now, I’m sorry, but InstantKarma ™ is the best. I hope she learned her lesson and drives more carefully.

~Tasha

5

I luvs me some instant karma. Yesterday at work, a customer was yelling at a guy working in sporting goods. He called the clerk an idiot, and walked off, leaving his credit card behind!

Who’s the idiot now!

6

I have another InstantKarma ™ moment.

Once, when I was in Rhode Island seeing a friend, some guy started flipping out at me in downtown Providence. To the best of my knowledge he was not drunk, just stupid or nutty (or both). So he’s screaming all kinds of obscinities to my friend (nothing that impressed us; we have the mouths of sailors) and then turns around and storms right into a lightpole.

I thought shit like that only happened in cartoons, but apparently…I was wrong. :smiley: Oh, how I wish I’d had a video camera that day.

~Tasha

7

My husband works for the state. A few years back, an asshole co-worker of his sauntered out of his office bragging. It seems he had been cut off in traffic by a girl driving a state car and he had used the car assignment database to find out where she worked. He proceeded to call her up and abuse her in the vilest terms imaginable. He was very pleased with himself for making the girl cry. He thought his revenge" story was hilarious and told it to everyone.

A few hours later, the boss came to the asshole co-worker’s office looking like he’d just seen a ghost. He said he’d just got a call from the governor who was righteously pissed that someone from this office had made an abusive and profane phone call. The reciepient happened to be his niece, but frankly, he was more pissed off the guy had treated a fellow state employee in that manner and wanted him disciplined.

On top of that, what he had done was a gross misuse of the database. The guy was in a world of shit by the time it was over.

8

I love this story, but unfortunately it’s second-hand. Nobody was really angry, but it’s cute, anyway.

Scene: boy eating banana, loving every bite.

Action: Mischeivous friend walks up and starts shaking the arm of the boy holding the banana, causing him to drop the last bite. Rascal begins to run away comically slowly.

Reaction: banana-eating boy grabs the peel and tosses over the rascal’s shoulder. Rascal slips on it and slides into a wall. Much laughter.

9

When I was a kid in the dark ages known as the 70’s, the local pasttime for a lot of the college students in my town was to drive through our neighborhood and yell the “N-Word” at us. Yeah, of course it pissed everyone off, but they always did it while cruising through at top speed, and its not like we were going to chase them. Hell, I was only 12. I think it must have been a dare of some kind for these guys. Well, that and that they were just mean racist jerks.

The spot where this happened a lot was right near the local bar where a lot of…well, the term today would be ‘gangstas’ hung out. Usually outside, especially in the summer. It also happened to be near an intersection where there normally was not a lot of traffic. For some reason there was a lot of traffic this day. My cousin and I were riding our bikes when the this car full of hooligans speeds by and the occupants were yelling “Hey N-bombs, you fucking N-words, go back to Africa, N-words!” and the like. there were about 4 college age guys in the car, and as I said I was 12. My cousin was only 10. This kind of happened a lot, to the point that even as a 12 year old, I would try to ignore it. I mean, I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t make them stop doing it, and even if they dared to stop the car, heck, I was only 12. These guys were at least 18 to 21 or older. But this day something happened.

The light turned red at the intersection. And there was too much traffic for these guys to try to run it. And the “gangstas” at the club had seen and heard the whole thing.

I witnessed the most awesome beat down i had ever seen at the point in my life. There were brothers I swear I had never seen in the neighborhood before that materialized like Star trek around that car. The driver even whimpered as they yanked him out of the open window “We were only kiddin’ man!”. (At least he had the presence of mind to put the car in park, 'cuz it wasn’t going nowhere for awhile.

Every older person in my old neighborhood was called Aunt this or Uncle that or at the least, Mister or Mrs. by us kids. I only tell you that so you’ll understand Aunt Myrt wasn’t really my aunt, but she lived by the intersection. she ran outside and made my cousin and I go in her backyard so we wouldn’t witness the brothers getting medieval on the asses of these guys. By the time she let us out the police and an ambulance were there. No one that actually took part of the ass kicking was there. (aside from the victims and these guys got fucked up.) I saw it happen. My cousin saw it happen. A few other people in the vicinity saw it happen. But when the cops asked everyone said “Hey, the were screaming “N-word” and then I didn’t see nothin!”.

I’m pretty sure each one of those jerks had at least one broken bone somewhere. there was a lot of blood on the ground.

The drive by N-word shoutings dropped in regularity after that day.