"Oh, waiter! What's this tiger urine doing in my donkey?"

[Eve]

SHANGHAI, China (AP) – A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling donkey flesh - marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported Thursday. The Hufulou restaurant, located beside the Heidaohezi tiger reserve near the city of Hailin, had advertised stir-fried tiger meat with chilies for $98 as well as liquor flavored with tiger bone for $74 a bottle, the China Daily reported. The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a “special” tang, the newspaper said. The report didn’t say how the urine was obtained.

“Ma Shikun’s—Come for the Donkey Meat, Stay for the Tiger Pee!”

[Phlosphr]

Heeeere kitty kitty kitty kitty…

[Ethilrist]

A longer version of the story here indicates that the restaurauter was fined $296. So, as long as he sold at least four servings, he came out ahead of the game…

[NurseCarmen]

That’s not tiger urine. That’s essence of tiger. With some MSG.

[lieu]

[Astronaut]
Mmmmmm… “Special Tang”
[/Astronaut]

[Kalhoun]

Tiger piss: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

[lieu]

Back in college, a friend from the department had to do some community service out at our local zoo. I went out to visit him there and the two of us were standing by the tiger exhibit chatting. I remember the tiger turning his back toward us, shuddering, and this dedgum pungent stream of tiger urine and marking juice flying by between us, barely missing us both. We burst out laughing but only because, as mentioned, it actually missed… the point being though that the likelyhood of encountering a jackass covered with tiger urine is actually greater than one might think.

[danceswithcats]

Squirt
Squirt
Squirt
Pissin’ is what tiggers do best!
Squirt
Squirt

Oh my!, said Pooh and Piglet.

[ftg]

Okay, I’ll finish it:

“Oh, waiter! What’s this tiger urine doing in my donkey?”

“Drat, very sorry. The tiger urine is only supposed to go in the monkey brains.”

[OtakuLoki]

Eve, I don’t know if you meant to, but your thread title scared me more than Hal’s recent adventure with sheep.

And now that I’ve read your post… I’m even more scared.

[asterion]

“You got donkey in my tiger urine!” “You got tiger urine in my donkey!”

Donkey and tiger urine. Two tastes that have the Western world going WTF?

[lieu]

Not to mention WWF.

[Eve]

@danceswithcats

Squirt
Squirt
Squirt
Pissin’ is what tiggers do best!
Squirt
Squirt

Oh my!, said Pooh and Piglet.

“Bother,” said Pooh. “This isn’t Tigger meat. It’s Eeyore meat.”
“But Pooh,” said Piglet helpfully, “Tigger did pee on it.”
“Bother,” said Pooh.

[Otto]

Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

[PapSett]

@lieu

Back in college, a friend from the department had to do some community service out at our local zoo. I went out to visit him there and the two of us were standing by the tiger exhibit chatting. I remember the tiger turning his back toward us, shuddering, and this dedgum pungent stream of tiger urine and marking juice flying by between us, barely missing us both. We burst out laughing but only because, as mentioned, it actually missed… the point being though that the likelyhood of encountering a jackass covered with tiger urine is actually greater than one might think.

I can go you one better.

Back in March , my friend flew in from Virginia, and I took her to The Exotic Feline Rescue Center in Terre Haute IN. It is a sanctuary that houses abutn140 big cats of all kinds , and some are extremely friendly, coming right up to the fence to ‘chat’ with you. We even got to pet a few tigers. But there was a family there at the same tiome as us that obviously had NO animal sense whatsoever, and were doing all the wrong things - yelling , growling, pounding on the fencing, the boy was running up and down , and when a lioness charged at him , his mother laughed and said “Oh , look , it wants to play!” (To which Pat replied “No , she wants to EAT him.”). We had gotten ahead of them and were off to one side talking to a tiger who was rubbing his face on the fence , doing the tiger version of purring , called chuffing. He liked us , we were talking quietly, making no sudden moves, etc. Then the Family From Hell chargerd up and the father pounded on the fence and growled at the tiger. You could just see the expression on the cat’s face change , they eyes went cold & hard. Pat & I backed off right away , but didn’t get QUITE far enough away. Mr. Tiger turned around , tail went up , and he sprayed urine. A direct hit on the ass that was tormenting him , and a few drops on Pat & me.

Well, let me tell you , a few drops of tiger piss goes a loonnnnng way.

It is a 2 hour drive home from Terre Haute . And to make matters worse , my father was in the hospital and we had to run something up to him on the way home. People were backing away from us in the hallways. We fought over who was gona get the shower first.

We still laugh hysterically over this. How many friends can say they got pissed on by a tiger ??

[pinkfreud]

“What’s this tiger urine doing in my donkey?”

I can’t help being reminded of an old commercial:

“Hey, you got peanut butter on my chocolate.” “Well, you got chocolate on my peanut butter.”

[ZebraShaSha]

(This is way too easy.)

“It’s greeeeeeat.”

[CalMeacham]

The real horror , as is obvious from the OP and from other sources like this:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CHINA_PHONY_TIGER?SITE=MOSTP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2005-09-08-18-58-55

is that this is false advertising. The people thought they were getting tiger meat. They were really getting donkey meat marinated in tiger urine, apparently on the theory that matrinating donkey meat in tiger urine makes it taste like tiger.
Boy, I’ll bet the people who got that dish are embarrassed now!

[CalMeacham]

Oh, yes, and I love this line:

Authorities confiscated the restaurant’s profits and fined Ma $296 it said. It wasn’t clear what Ma was fined for. Selling donkey meat is not illegal in China and it is widely consumed in the northeast.

“It wasn’t clear what Ma was fined for”. Evidently there’s no law covering selling meat under false pretenses, or for selling meat marinated in tiger piss. Or maybe they’re just saying they don’t know which it was.

[Tentacle_Monster]

@PapSett

I can go you one better.

Back in March , my friend flew in from Virginia, and I took her to The Exotic Feline Rescue Center in Terre Haute IN. It is a sanctuary that houses abutn140 big cats of all kinds , and some are extremely friendly, coming right up to the fence to ‘chat’ with you. We even got to pet a few tigers. But there was a family there at the same tiome as us that obviously had NO animal sense whatsoever, and were doing all the wrong things - yelling , growling, pounding on the fencing, the boy was running up and down , and when a lioness charged at him , his mother laughed and said “Oh , look , it wants to play!” (To which Pat replied “No , she wants to EAT him.”). We had gotten ahead of them and were off to one side talking to a tiger who was rubbing his face on the fence , doing the tiger version of purring , called chuffing. He liked us , we were talking quietly, making no sudden moves, etc. Then the Family From Hell chargerd up and the father pounded on the fence and growled at the tiger. You could just see the expression on the cat’s face change , they eyes went cold & hard. Pat & I backed off right away , but didn’t get QUITE far enough away. Mr. Tiger turned around , tail went up , and he sprayed urine. A direct hit on the ass that was tormenting him , and a few drops on Pat & me.

Well, let me tell you , a few drops of tiger piss goes a loonnnnng way.

It is a 2 hour drive home from Terre Haute . And to make matters worse , my father was in the hospital and we had to run something up to him on the way home. People were backing away from us in the hallways. We fought over who was gona get the shower first.

We still laugh hysterically over this. How many friends can say they got pissed on by a tiger ??

Beautiful.

It’s just a shame that the tiger couldn’t havesprayed that entire family. I bet they’d never get that smell out of the car.