Ok Dopers, help me run away from home.

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
So here’s a US specific question - how difficult is it for a person in my particular circumstances to get a green card in the US?
[/QUOTE]
It’s easy. It just takes forty-seven years to get through the process.

[QUOTE=Cervaise]
It’s easy. It just takes forty-seven years to get through the process.
[/QUOTE]

Right. And there’s no way to expidite it, short of marrying some fella from them there parts. Correct?

Dunno. I’m not allowed to marry a fella. :wink:

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
Sure - your hired.

But be forwarned, I require lots and lots of sex from my manservant. I mean, like LOTS!
[/QUOTE]

Straigtht sex or kinky sex?

[QUOTE=Zebra]
Straigtht sex or kinky sex?
[/QUOTE]

I don’t know - do you consider a trapeze kinky?

[QUOTE=Robot Arm]
I may be in Barbados in a couple months. I’ll check it out and report back.
[/QUOTE]

Barbados is very expensive. I would suggest St. Kitts & Nevis, St. Vincent & the Grenadines, Grenada, Dominica (not white beaches, but beautiful mountains), St. Lucia or Trinidad & Tobago if you’re considering the Caribbean. Jamaica is beautiful, but can be a challenging place to live for a variety of reasons.

I have a cousin who owns an island off the coast of Belize. He seems to like employing women (you haven’t actually mentioned gender now that I think of it, but with the big boods I’m going to take a shot) with big boobs and an comparable sexual appetite. (You can keep your money, he has plenty). I could ask him about hiring you.

[QUOTE=SandyHook]
I have a cousin who owns an island off the coast of Belize. He seems to like employing women (you haven’t actually mentioned gender now that I think of it, but with the big boods I’m going to take a shot) with big boobs and an comparable sexual appetite. (You can keep your money, he has plenty). I could ask him about hiring you.
[/QUOTE]

Sweet.

Like I said, I could be the Flipper Girl. I’m excellent with flippers. :slight_smile:

[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
I would recommend Costa Rica as well. I have been there and it has a beach culture, good weather with several subclimates, gorgeous scenery, no unrest, it is pretty cheap, and it is very friendly to Americans/Canadians. Even though the official language is Spanish, a large portion of the population speaks some English and those involved in the service industries tend to speak English very well. The tourism trade is huge so there are always Americans, Europeans, and Canadians around. Costa Rica has no military, fairly low crime, and an excellent health care system. About 1% of the population is expats and there are sizable English speaking enclaves. Costa Rica borders both the Caribbean and the Pacific. The country is small enough to drive to either coast in an afternoon. Even though the standard of living is rather high for Latin America, the average income is only about $200 a month so your money will go far.
[/QUOTE]

Been there and done that. Loved it!

We went on my honeymoon. The only problem is you really need to like rain during the rainy season.

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
I don’t know - do you consider a trapeze kinky?
[/QUOTE]

We’ll be dressed as superheros, right?

[QUOTE=Zebra]
We’ll be dressed as superheros, right?
[/QUOTE]

Well Duh.

OK, count me in.
You do offer dental, mental and vision?

[QUOTE=Zebra]
You do offer dental, mental and vision?
[/QUOTE]

Dental for sure, but mental and vision your on your own - I like my manservants to be slightly crazy, and far sighted.

'cus then I look super-hot, ALL the time…

I just think that it’s neat as hell that you are going to move to the kind of place you want to live and let life unfold for you there!

[QUOTE=Zoe]
I just think that it’s neat as hell that you are going to move to the kind of place you want to live and let life unfold for you there!
[/QUOTE]

It’s an opportunity that not many people get. I’m single, I have no dependants, I have enough money that if I plan right I can live off of the interest.

I’d be stupid not to do it.

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
It’s an opportunity that not many people get. I’m single, I have no dependants, I have enough money that if I plan right I can live off of the interest.

I’d be stupid not to do it.
[/QUOTE]

Hey! You calling me stupid? grumble grumble grumble So what if I’m too chicken to run away from home grumble grumble grumble.

Go for it alice_in_wonderland that is damn cool.

[QUOTE=Gut]
Hey! You calling me stupid? grumble grumble grumble So what if I’m too chicken to run away from home grumble grumble grumble.
[/QUOTE]

You’re welcome to tag along. I can always use another man servant…:smiley:

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
You’re welcome to tag along. I can always use another man servant…:smiley:
[/QUOTE]

I’d have to be the indoor only man servant. I can’t take too much heat from that big shiny yellow thing in the sky. I can be in charge of cold drinks and a/c settings upon your return from the beach. I suppose sand removal could also be one of my duties.

[QUOTE=Gut]
I’d have to be the indoor only man servant. I can’t take too much heat from that big shiny yellow thing in the sky. I can be in charge of cold drinks and a/c settings upon your return from the beach. I suppose sand removal could also be one of my duties.
[/QUOTE]

Great! Your hired. I may also need assistance with the application of sun-tan type products and lotions.

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
Great! Your hired. I may also need assistance with the application of sun-tan type products and lotions.
[/QUOTE]

Certainly, I can apply said lotions prior to your departure into the sun zone. I could probably even handle brief exposure long enough to reapply lotion as needed. I think the key would be applying moisturizers and other skin products after you are done bronzing yourself each day. Baby oil is good…very good :smiley: