I happen to be an excellant gift wrapper. Unfortunatly I’m an airhead in every other respect.
Sometimes these two things mix. For instance last christmas I managed to include the scissors I had been using to cut the wrapping paper in with the present. And this year I managed to wrap three gifts then promptly forget what was in them. So I had to unwrap them, see which was which, label them accordingly, and RE-wrap them.
Inky
I had a brief experience as a professional gift wrapper for a local department store once a long time ago. After a while I got pretty good at it. I remember that it helped a lot to have real tools (paper and tape dispensers, sharp scissors, sticky labels) but that’s about all I remember. I have since devolved to my previous ineptitude.
“If ignorance were corn flakes, you’d be General Mills.”
Cecil Adams
The Straight Dope
I wrapped for a department store, back before wrap was cool…
It was a terrible experience at Christmas, what with all the pushing and shouting and cutting in line and people wanting idiotic things like entire tables or live animals wrapped.
Now, however, I love wrapping gifts; I love the neat creases and pretty papers and sparkly bows. The problem is that I don’t want people to open the gifts I give them. They always seem to think it’s out of embarrassment at the gift itself, when in fact I just want them to take it in before snatching the wrapping off.
Ah, well, the rocky life of a wrap artist…always misunderstood.
I LOVE wrapping presents.
Like OldBroad and OpalCat, presentation is everything. Ends are folded, patterns matched, fancy curly ribbons and bows and handmade tags (I did fancy paper angels for last Christmas that doubled as ornaments – dual presents!).
Handmade boxes. I made over 25 boxes from old Christmas cards and construction paper last year, perfect size for small presents, and pretty enough to keep or reuse. They’re incredibly sturdy.
For many years, there was competition to see who could make it the most difficult to get into a present. Multiple tape packages with no seams visible (or in one case, totally coating the paper as well), layer after layer of wrapping paper, numerous boxes … anything to draw it out. The unwrapping of gifts is just as much fun as the buying, wrapping, and receiving.
Excuse me. I have to go wrap something now.
Oooh, I hate it, and I’m lousy at it. I have a reasonably good eye for measurements in everything else, but I inevitably cut gift wrap much too large and recut it, after which it is much too small. And since I’m always short of paper, I end up doing tacky patch jobs, or just giving people stuff in the store box.
MaryAnnQ at least has something cool to offer potential wrappers. I could edit your next book for you if you want.
Catrandom, will edit for giftwrap
The SECRET TO EASY WRAPPING:
Glue sticks and/or hot glue guns PLUS stick on bows, stick on labels and stick on decorations. (Or, have your girl or boyfriend do it for you.)
I thought about spray paint but was talked out of it.
Giftwrapping (twitch) makes me (twitch) twitchy (twitch). Oh, I cannot tell you how much I hate wrapping presents. And yes, I positively suck at it, too. I love gift bags, though. I’m quite good at making a gift look really nice in a bag.
I wrap gifts at Christmas, but only because I like the way Christmas paper looks, and I’ve got roughly one bazillion kids to buy for, and they really like having paper to tear open. The rest of the year, it’s gift bags or professionals.
My first husband worked in a men’s clothing store, and he could wrap a gift blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. He liked it, too. So, every year, he would wrap every gift, except for the ones I bought for him. I didn’t even need to put tags on his, they were so flippin’ obvious. Sigh.
I think I’m going to start doing what my mom does–use the Sunday comic section of the newspaper as gift wrap. It’s recycling, it’s colorful, and since it’s newspaper, it doesn’t exactly have to look professional.
I discovered a neat trick that works for little boy’s gifts. Do a hack job with brown paper bags, then spraypaint the package green. After the green dries blotch it with some black for a half ass camoflage pattern. Write the name PVT So and SO on it with black marker and oila.
Thanks guys for responding to my first topic post at SD!
Pricciar, Michelle, MaryAnnQ, GuanoLad, BurnMeUp, Doctor Jackson, pluto, Catrandom, Cristi: I’m so glad to know I’m not alone. Just the sight of a roll of wrapping paper makes me want to run for the hills. Thanks for making me not feel so bad about my stinky wrapping skills.
ChiefScott, Trumpy303, OldBroad, Inky, Blue Twylight, elelle, eden: I sure do envy your wrapping talents. Your presents sound almost too pretty to want to open. Now how much sucking up would I have to do to get any of you guys to come wrap all my presents for me? 
Grace: Your presents were wrapped very nicely! It’s pretty futile to do the fancy bow thing when you’re shipping gifts since they usually get smashed anyway. And you know I don’t care what they look like – anything from you is beautiful no matter how it’s wrapped.
PunditLisa: Bags are a great idea and I do use them when I can. It just doesn’t seem as much fun as watching someone tear open wrapping paper. But I do like getting them that way, because like you said, they’re reusable!
Arnold, voguevixen, OpalCat, Ukulele, beatle, Suzeanne, EvilGhandi: You are all SO clever! I wish I could be that creative. You’ve given me some great ideas though – thanks!
Ike, opus & Sentinel: You win the funniest ideas award! Doing it drunk with a can of spray paint and a jar of rocks sounds kind of kinky. Perhaps I’ll try that next time! 
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
One year my brother bought my dad a tie that he wanted. My brother put a false bottom on the box and put some silverware there so that when my dad shook it he could hear was the clinking of the silverware hitting each other. I thought that was clever!
One year my ex- (twitch!) husband bought me a ring. He put it the bottom of a huge box and filled the rest of it with towels. It was so heavy there was NO way I would have guessed what was in there. Come to think of it, that’s the only smart thing he’s ever done.
MaryAnn
No, stupid, it’s a boat!