Well, I know that they had sex with each other, at least twice. Also I would see them holding hands, kissing, etc. So I knew they had a romantic relationship. Maybe I misunderstood the meaning of the word polyamory, but I thought that meant that there was romantic relationships outside of the legal marital relationships. If this is what you meant, how did you know that there were romantic relationships outside the legal marital relationships?
Did all five grow up in the polyamorous family? Is all the property divided equally amongst the five children?
In case you are thinking that I’m opposed to the idea, I’m of the opinion that any number of people should be able to form a “family”, and that marriage shouldn’t be confined to two people. But seeing how complicated a two-parent family is, I am curious to know how a multiple-parent family arranges things.
Because we talked about polyamory when I told them I was contemplating a polyamorous relationship myself, and it was very clear that at least one of them, if not both, were sexually involved with at least one of the other folks, if not both. I didn’t ask, nor really want to know, the details. We had very good discussions without me knowing the details of who is/was sleeping with whom.
I don’t know if the Other Parents had poly relationships before my folks or not. As I said before, the oldest two were grown and out of their parents’ home before they met my folks.
I don’t know what the property divisions will be, as everyone is still alive. I assume that’s in their Wills and I’ll get that information when it’s appropriate.
I see, so in your case, as far as you could tell, this was two separate couples that happened to live together and both took a part in raising you, kind of like an extended family with two brothers and their wives living together. Did you call both women Mom, and both men Dad, or was Mom and Dad reserved for your biological parents?
Concerning the inheritance, I wonder how the parents would do it equitably. I know my father has discussed with me and my brother how to split up his belongings because he wants to make sure that we don’t start fighting about it after he dies.
As I mentioned before, Ursula K Le Guin (the science fiction author) likes to explore unconvential family arrangements. In some recent short stories (The Birthday of the World & other stories) she describes family relationships on The Planet of O where each marriage comprises of four individuals, with some added complications. I always thought that getting two people to stay together is difficult enough, and with each new person, you increase the chance of separation and all the difficulties that divorce entails.
As far as I could tell at the time, yes. I was singularly uninterested in their sexual habits as a kid (except for stealing Dad’s Playboys on occasion.) I didn’t give it a lick of thought until I was probably 14 or 15. I just knew they all loved me and each other and, being the wonderfully self-centered kid that I was, I didn’t even contemplate the nature of their love for one another. I know it sounds really bizarre, but I just didn’t. Neither did my stepbrothers, who each figured it out at about the same age as I did. None of us told the others until…well, about two years ago, actually. It finally came up in conversation and we laughed for hours! Our parents were bewildered that there was a moment of “realization” at all, since they never made an effort to hide anything within the family. They all thought we all knew all along. Nope. Kids really can be amazingly clueless, apparently. This is why I just laugh at the idea that a plural household must be “sexually charged” all the time. Some might be, but ours wasn’t. As you say, Other Mom and Other Dad might as well have been Auntie and Uncle.
We call them all by their first names, mostly, although I sometimes call Dad “Dad,” when talking to him directly. But my stepbrothers and I made the decision early on that “Your Mom” or “Your Dad” or “My Mom” and “My Dad” when referring to them in the third person was unwieldy, ugly and felt exclusionary. So we got into the habit of referring to Dad and Stepmom by their first names early on, and our folks didn’t have a problem with it. From there, it was an easy step to calling Other Mom and Other Dad by their first names, as well.