Okay, Which X-MAN Do You Want To Boink?

Spin-off from the “So, Which Cartoon Character Do You Want To Boink?” thread (which included several X-MEN cites).

My five-year-old has developed an unhealthy infatuation with the old (early 1990s) X-MEN cartoon program, and he acquired about eight hours of it on various video cassettes on his recent birthday. So it’s on a LOT in my house.

As it lacks the sophisticated irony and nuance of POWERPUFF GIRLS or even DEXTER’S LAB, the adult mind begins to drift after extended viewing…often to idle daydreams about takinf a bath with Jubilee or getting fellatio from Storm.

I’d have to go with Rogue, myself. LOVE the coif. Darling little Southern accent (“call me “Sugah” again, okay?”). And an ass that is a quiet triumph of the cartoonist’s art. On the downside, condoms would be a necessity, to avoid having her drain more of the life essence than you’re wantin’ her to drain.

EXTRA BONUS QUESTION: “Which X-Man would you have GAY sex with?” (Gay Dopers may substitute STRAIGHT sex here)

Definitely not Wolverine or Beast…too hairy and scary for me. Cyclops and Angel seem like a coupla boring fratboys (the male equivalents of Jean Grey). So I’d pick Gambit…tall and square-jawed and an accent almost as cute as Rogue’s and the whites of his eyes are BLACK, how cool is THAT? Plus the morning after he might make gumbo for breakfast.

Hmmm . . . I’d go with Tula, or Dana International.

You did say “ex-man,” didn’t you?

Straight: I’ll second your Gambit. He’s sexy, in a cartoonish-bad-but-good-boy sort of way.

Gay: I’d have to say the cartoon Storm, but if I could get my hands on the movie Jean Grey (Famke Janssen)…rrrrowr.

Okay…do we have to go with the cartoon X-Men? If I may substitute the 80’s comic-book X-Men:

Gay: Colossus…talk about hardbody! Note that this is the 80s Colossus, not wimpy artboy 90’s Colossus.
Nightcrawler…furry fans take note! Blue satiny fur, tail, and cute accent! And if we can get the Bamfs to join in, it’d be even more fun…

Straight: Okay, every straight teen boy in the 80’s wanted Kitty Pryde. And she even has her own dragon. 'Nuff said…

Great minds, Uke . . . I thought Rogue before I even opened the thread. I’ve always had a thing for her. And (comics geekdom coming), although she was an Avenger and not an X-Man, the Scarlet Witch (daughter of Magneto) was not too shabby.

Gay X-Sex? Hmmmm . . . was Iceman on the cartoons? He at least had a good sense of humor. That’s important in a man, you know.

Straight: oooh…toss up. Wolverine, for his rugged good looks and wild passion…or The Beast, for his intelligence, thoughtfullness and sensitivity. Plus, he’s kinda cute aside from all that blue hariness. (This is coming from the girl who has an absurd obsession with The Tick, so maybe it’s the blue thing…)

Gay: hands down, Jean Gray. Second place goes to Rogue for the same reasons mentioned above.

Psylocke! Hands down. Hoo-AH!
If I had to go from the movie, Mystique.

punk snot dead,

I’ll take a note from jayjay’s book and not limit myself to the older cartoon:


[li]Kitty Pryde. (As I stated in the other thread.)[/li][li]Jubilee’s pretty nice.[/li][li]Majik.[/li][li]Feral. (OK, so she’s from X-Force, not X-Men, but still, she’s hot…)[/li][li]Wolfsbane. (Again, X-Factor, not X-Men, but rather a cutie…)[/li][/ul]


Hands down, Nightcrawler. jayjay…don’t forget…the tail’s prehensile…::Slinks off rather ashamed at having thought about that…::

(Apparently I have a thing for fur…1/2 of my choices are furry…)

I can’t believe I have an answer to this. I don’t even like the X-men (not even one of my comic book reading SO’s favorites.)

But…I saw the cartoon.

I didn’t bother to see the movie when I found out Gambit wasn’t in it.

So- Gambit. Definately. That accent. That cool coat.

Gay- Rogue.

So I’m with Ike. In reverse.

If I’m boinking anybody, he better be a man currently! No x-men for me.

Wolverine. No doubt about it. Short, slightly furry, doesn’t take crap but a real softie at heart, in touch with nature and rides a Harley. Hell, Wolvie’s on my desktop on my home computer. Cyke is way too goody too-shoes and bland, oh-poor-me-I’m-emotionally-repressed-and-have-uncontrollable-optic-beams-boo-hoo-hoo; Iceman’s too young. Nightcrawler wouldn’t be bad, he’s pretty witty and I dig the blue fur. Gambit, now, Gambit is intriguing although he tends to smug and that’d make me uncertain as to whether to kiss or kill him if he irritated me enough. Still, that can be fun.

Gay sex? Hm, I dunno; Jube’s still underage, I believe, so strike that. Maybe Storm.


And not the shy-little-girl Rogue from the X-Men movie, either. The buxom Rogue from the Saturday morning X-Men cartoon show. Grrrrowr!

Gaudere wrote:

[boring trivia]
The phrase “Goody Two-shoes” come from the main character of a series of children’s instructional books written in (I believe) the 18th century. They were quite popular, and as you might expect, the character of Goody had this annoying tendency to always do the “right” thing.
[/boring trivia]

Well, if Gen 13 counts, Rainmaker is the one. If not, I suppose I could settle for Psylocke–I hear she give a good mind job. Then again, just imagine the role-playing capacity with Mystique. Yowza! As for swinging the other way, Mister Sinister: give it to me rough! Gambit is damn good looking, but he just doesn’t have that seductive aura.

Straight: Jean Grey in her Marvel Girl days. I always loved Jean Grey in that sexy green mini-skirt.

Gay: The Mimic (a note to purists: The Mimic was associated back with the group about the time they went up against the Banshee and Factor Three).

Storm, definitely–Rogue’s accent grates on me very quickly, and I’d always worry about having a falling out with Kitty <rimshot>.

Gay…hmmm…I’d say Nightcrawler here. Kurt’s nice, charming, has a pleasant accent, and he has blue fur! How cool is that? Mystique should be an option here as well–there’s no reason she can’t play a guy for a while.

No doubt about it. Nightcrawler. Had it bad for him for too long. sigh

And indulging in the love that dare not speak its name? Hmmmmmm. I guess Jean. She can move things with her mind, right?

Well definately Wolverine I love him (in both the movie and cartoon though I never watched much of the cartoon) and I dunno who I would go as my Gay one… perhaps Jean Grey

It just has to be Rogue, doesn’t it? She has the best body in popular culture.

Sadly, they picked a fine but not-so-good-looking actress to play her in film (Anna Paquin.) Strange casting decision. My dreams are ruined.

Straight: Kitty Pryde (mmmm…) with Rogue a close second.

Gay: What are you, nuts?