Old and alone – what if I fall?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My sister, at the urging of her friend, is urging me to do this. Sis’s friend’s brother, also old and alone, has her brother call her at 8PM everyday. His sister doesn’t need to answer the phone if she is otherwise busy, it is just a signal to her that he is alive and functional enough to make a phone call.

What do you think of this idea?

I’m not outside much now where I might been seen if I fell. I do go down the cellar steps in this big old house sometimes. I used to figure I would die alone somewhere in the woods on a hiking or biking trail but I have finally started carrying a cell phone when I’m out … but not really from fear of falling or dying alone, more about being able to order something for supper on the way home.

Do people really carry their cell phone around the house every time to take a shower or go into another room? Am I living a TV commercial? I’m not gonna wear a necklace or wristwatch panic button thingy, I’m just not.

Sis just reminded me the time when my grandmother, who was over 80 at the time, fell and broke her hip and wasn’t found for three days. After Babu got out of the hospital they sent her to a nursing home – she got on a bus and went home, where she lived another 10+ years, still living alone. Hardy Russian peasant stock, she was.

The potential negative that concerns me is what if I forget to call. I really don’t want to put Sis in a panic for no reason, but, hell, I’m getting old … I forget to drink the coffee I just made – and yes, smile if you will, but the most likely place I eventually find my glasses when I’m looking for them is right on my nose.

Comments welcome.

2

pretty much. Not in the shower though.

3

Set a nightly alarm on your phone (or a nightly calendar appointment alert).

4

I installed a 2nd handrail on my basement steps many years ago. Having a handrail on both sides makes them much safer.

I pretty much always have my phone in my pocket, especially if I know I’m going into the basement. Long-time habit from past back problems.

5

I pretty much do, except in the shower itself. It’s becoming so normalized to expect to be able to send or receive messages.

Perhaps a possibility might be using your burglar alarm system as a kind of monitoring system, especially if you add some things to it. If you are at home, doors will open and close, lights will go on and off, and so forth. Maybe there’s a way to automatically notice when typical activity is conspicuous by its absence?

6

Have you seen the Apple Watch commercials running now? A hiker falls and the watch dials 911 for them. I saw that and thought "Well, I picked the right decade to grow old in! Uber and autonomous cars when I should quit driving, and now a high-tech “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” device, and I don’t even have to be conscious to push a button!

Maybe just tell your sister to call you if you forget (I’d hope she’d do this anyhow).

But I set alarms for EVERYthing on my phone. I’ll use Calendar events as a to-do list. The phone’ll beep/vibrate and I’ll look at it… “Huh, I don’t remember putting Pick Up Oat Milk on here, but it’s a great idea.”

7

I urge you to examine your feelings about this and figure out why you feel this way. I say this because it’s not really a logical assessment of the pros and cons, it’s just a reaction to something – the commercials maybe, or concern about how it would make you look to other people (or to yourself).

I’m not saying that the panic button thingy is the only logical solution, not at all. I am saying that you should consider all the options rationally, and pick the best one. I hope you get some good suggestions here to weigh against each other.

Regarding a regular phone call, there are probably services you can contract with to call you every day at a given time, and then call your sister if you don’t answer. That way you wouldn’t have to remember to call. I say “probably” but I don’t know of a specific one that does that.

8

My inlaws have a plastic container in their shower that they use for their phones. They’re in their 90s, and FIL tends to have mini-strokes that lead to falls. They do have a chair in the shower, but they keep a phone at hand just in case.

9

I have two family members who have fallen, alone, fairly recently.

One had her phone with her. She dialed 911. Ended up with back surgery and currently undergoing rehab.

The other fell down his basement stairs. Had no phone. Lay at the bottom of the stairs, yelling “help”. A neighbor heard him eventually (he was laying on the floor for 20 hours) and called the authorities.

Carry your phone if alone. And keep it in a pocket. A third story I can relate just happened last week. A co-worker fell in her kitchen while holding her phone (and a knife, eek). Upon falling, both phone and knife went skidding across the floor, out of reach. She was fortunately able to get up by herself.

mmm

10

This happened to me about three years ago. I fell in the bathroom adjacent to my bedroom and my phone was in the living room. I lay on the floor for 15 hours until a mobile meals driver came to my house and summoned 911 for me.

Please, arrange for a nightly call so the other person knows something’s amiss if you don’t call in. Get one of those pendants or wrist alerts or carry a cell phone around with you. What’s the worst that can happen if you have one and never have to use it? Then imagine the worst that can happen if you don’t have a way to get help. Please, @Turble put your pride aside and do whatever it takes to keep safe.

11

Devices like Amazon Alexa and Google Home and whatever Apple has (do they have a thing?) are really cheap and can be used to make phone calls, or device-to-device calls. You can put them in just a few places in your house and always be a shout or just a whisper away.

I do believe my Alexa is now asking me if I want it to detect movement so it can turn on lights when I walk into a room. But don’t quote me on that.

I totally understand if people don’t want these listening devices in their homes. But just throwing it out there for anyone who might consider it for a safety measure.

I need to get one in my basement.

12

I think asking you to call her every night seems excessive. If you want to do that, great!, but otherwise it seems like it might be an imposition on you. But it sounds like your sister worries a lot, so it might be good to come up with something which works to calm her nerves.

One unconventional idea would be to get a device which monitors your water usage in real-time and uploads it to a website. There are many such devices that people use to keep track of water in vacation and rental homes in case of leaks or whatever . Get one of those and give your sister access to the water usage website. She can check that whenever she likes. If she seeks that you are not using any water like normal, she would know something has changed. The devices may even be able to send out alerts if water patterns change. I think they would typically be used for alerts about leaks, but maybe it could send out an alert for low water usage as well.

13

I read somewhere that the majority of people who have the panic button thingy, and fall and are unable to get up, don’t use it because they’re afraid it will lead to the loss of their home and independence. And this fear doesn’t seem so unreasonable to me. It’s a very difficult situation. The button doesn’t fix the toughest part.

14

I’m going to second this suggestion. An older generation Echo Dot runs something like $20. Put a few around the house and you’re always within reach of one. They can be used to contact anyone else with the Alexa app installed and authorized (phone, tablet, other Echo devices).

Another option would be to have a somewhat higher end Smartwatch that’s waterproof (at least to shower levels) that connects via bluetooth/wifi and/or LTE (much more expensive there) that has a decent battery life. My Ticwatch 3 Pro (@ $250) has about 2-3 days power w/out charging and has a full mic and speaker - I can call from anywhere in my house while wearing it. I have the charger on my nightstand and so I’m always wearing it or it’s adjacent.

15

Could you text instead of calling? That would be more convenient for everyone. I think the necklace/wristwatch gadget is a great idea & wish they weren’t advertised as only for old people. I know a couple reasonably young people with mobility problems who love these, as they can live independently with less worry about a fall.

16

I have fallen three times in the past year, once with a significant injury with significant loss of blood. The next time I fall, I don’t want to bleed to death. So I have stashed a roll of paper towels in every room of the house, including bathrooms.

The Apple Watch has a “fall” function. The problem is that it uses a phone line, and you have your choice of four carriers. Unfortunately, Consumer Cellular, the one used by seniors, isn’t one of those four. So we have to pay for an additional carrier.

17

Garmin also makes devices with ‘incident detection’ capability and/or call options that provide rescuers with your location, very useful if you fall in the wilderness, but also helpful if you fall down the basement stairs.

18

I have an old pay-as-you-go flip-phone that I carry in my pocket all the time for just this reason. It costs around $12 a month. I started doing that several years ago after one of my brother’s neighbors fell and wasn’t found for several days. He and his dog died.

After I retired two years ago, I made a deal with my niece, who also lives alone, to text or call each other every evening around 6:00. I also call her every time I have to go in the attic. I have pull-down stairs and I hate having to go up there. If I don’t call her back within 20-30 minutes, she would know something is wrong. None of this is inconvenient or weird. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

When I get really old, I’ll get a medical alert device. My mother had one and used it several times.

19

Wow, there’s a lot more to thinking about this than I had imagined. I’ll sort through this in a day or two and let you know what I decided. I abandoned Google completely years ago (and am having second thoughts about Amazon, too) so the personal spyware things are not for me.

Keep it coming, please.

20

Going forward, it might be helpful to know what sort of budget you would want.

All else being equal, and leaving out always on audio options such as Google/Amazon, you’ll be budgeting initial outlay vs monthly fees. The various alert systems generally have a monthly monitoring charge as well as device outlay, so they’re probably the MOST expensive. @aurora_maire 's option is kind of middle of the road - you can still get various cheapist monthly plans in the $15-20 per month range on most carriers (often prepaid, which isn’t a dealbreaker of course), but that’s still $180 per year in fees even on the lower end, and getting flip-phones are getting to be MORE expensive than low end smartphones.

[ I’d still recommend the flip phone option, since you can reasonably expect it to last roughly a week between charges especially if you leave it off most of the time - but a quick glance of ones that are 4G compatible seem to be running $70+ at a minimum, and you don’t want some of the older used ones that use phased-out bandwidth]

A bluetooth smartwatch is going to be one of the higher initial outlays as I mentioned in my prior post, but wouldn’t have a monthly cost… but I don’t know if you’re the sort that is happy remembering to charge a smartwatch every night and put on every day. For that matter, depending on your home, you may not have a solid bluetooth connection to your phone (the key element in this) in all locations, so you’d have to check with some other bluetooth device.

The LTE smartwatch options (both Apple and other) is likely the best for overall safety, but worst for overall costs - you have a large initial outlay, and probably $20ish a month in carrier costs, and still have the issue of charging daily and putting back on the wrist. But if some of the other health/fitness monitoring features (blood oxy, heartrate, etc) are helpful for you, it may be worth another look (LTE or not).

Trying to find other resources, I found the following website:

Of which the most helpful section is probably this -

The U.S. government offers one of the best ways to find volunteer and government-run senior call services. The U.S. Administration on Aging helps you find senior citizen services. Visit the Elder Care Locator on the web here: https://eldercare.acl.gov/. Call them at 800-677-1116 .

May you find a solution you can work with!