“Can’t learn any younger.” Said by my mother when I told her I didn’t know how to do something.
“It’s raining pitchforks and hammer handles.” What she said instead of “raining cats and dogs.”
“Don’t watch that TV show; it’s buckety-blood!” What she said instead of violent.
My boss in Mississippi used to tell her son that he was enough to drive her to drink corn liquor in the morning…he was a handful, but cute.
My mother used to yell, “Oh your father’s mustache!” when she wanted to curse but this little pitcher with the big ears was in earshot and would have picked up the other!
I say ‘It’s raining weasels’. I made it up in the '80s, and only I and one other person I know use the phrase.
“Hold your Horses.”
“Keep your shirt on.”
Are my two current old tymie phrases.
When my mom gets really frustrated, she’ll yell, “Dirty words, dirty words, dirty words!” It’s adorable.
Other phrases my parents and grandparents use:
Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise (as long as everything goes according to plan)
If nothing slips or comes loose (same)
As sure as God made little green apples
Telling someone how the cow ate the cabbage (to tell someone off)
He’s got the same pants to get glad in as he got mad in (he just has to get over whatever he’s angry about)
Fiddlesticks.
A horse apiece.
LAND-A-GUMPTION you WHIPPERSNAPPERS should take a GANDER at me, I got nice GAMS.
I frequently use the same expressions to the cats when they’re meowing around my legs in the kitchen, demanding their dinner. Since I’m talking to cats, however, they are “furry little horses” and “furry little shirts.”
I’ve heard that before, but always as “Shank’s pony”. Obviously the same thing, but I’m not sure which would be more common.
You need this like you need a hole in the head…
or like she tells me about my collection:
You have more Barbie dolls than Carter has little liver pills!!!
Whenever I finished something much more quickly than expected (often food-related, but not necessarily), my dad used to say “You went through that like a dose of salts through a tall Swede!”
I still have no idea where the phrase came from, and none of the 5 hits that Google provides is any help.
When the kids would be milling around the kitchen asking when supper would be ready, my grandmother would say, “Take a cold 'tater and wait!” (Grab something to hold you and git outta here till I call ya.)
He/She doesn’t have the sense God gave little green apples.
My dad used to say “even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.”
I’ve discussed here before my mother’s saying something required going “all around Robin Hood’s barn” to get to. Apparently others also say something like this.
My uncle’s new car would “stop on a dime and give you a nickel change.”
My Nana used to say “Spend a penny” for going to the bathroom.
My Dad used to say “Either shit or get off the pot!”
My grandfather is always saying that something, usually food, will “make your ears grow long”. That means it’s good for you. We’ve always wondered why anyone would want long ears.
My aunt used to keep her 4th grade students in line by telling them it would be “too wet to plow” if they didn’t behave.
My father had a lot of these. Some might require an explanation, but I’m a slow typer and will go into detail only upon request…
Ask Dad how he’s doing and his standard reply was “Able to sit up and take nourishment”.
Get between him and TV he’d say “You make a better door than a window”.
Referring to someone doing something stupid he’d say “He’s got a brain the size of a BB in a boxcar”.
Something he’d say that I always thought sounded funny [ha-ha] until I realized what he was actually saying [and it’s sad] - “Never get married and raise your kids the same way”.
Broke as a heehank? I had never heard this one, but since I read this, I’ve used heehanks in a variety of similes just because I like the sound of the word.
My dad always called it a lunch pail. Occasionally that’ll slip out when I’m talking about my kids’ lunches.
They had that one on the Way With Words podcast a few months back. It sounds like something you’d hear in a Lil Rascals cartoon to me.
He’s so stingy he’ll pinch every nickel until the buffalo shits