ohhh… gets out his KY and pornos
Jeez, oldscratch, 4000 posts? Don’t you ever shut up, man? Silence is foo, after all.
Ah well - congratulations anyway, ya windbag.
Allow me to wax sentimental for a few minutes. If anyone doesn’t want to see this kind of shit, feel free to scroll to the bottom of my post.
To people who posted. And anyone else. I’ve been here for just over a year now. A year that has seen more changes in my life than I’d really care to think about. Of course not all of them have been positive, but they have in their own way had a positive effect on my outlook. Have changed who I am in subtle or not so subtle ways. It’s been very helpful to have a sounding board available to one. I want to thank everyone who has helped make this board what it is.
People have said that this is just an online community. And they’re right, it is only an online community. It?s only as good as the people who are a part of it. As the people who choose to participate. Taking that into consideration, it is a very rich community indeed. Much richer than many communities you find in real life. As a community it has changed and matured over the past year, in some ways for the better, in some ways for the worse. But don’t we all grow in both better and worse ways? It?s the little ups and downs that make life so vibrant.
There is much more I could say on the subject of this board, but for now I’ll address some comments to the few of you who posted.
Eutychus - Thank you for starting this. I must admit, it was unexpected. I would say that you were one of the most thoughtful, sensitive, kind, moderators on the board. However, that would be doing you a disservice. You are one of the most thoughtful, sensitive, kind people on the board. You in many ways embody what the straightdope board is about.
Scotti - thank you, and bunches of hugs.
Ice Wolf - thanks mate.
tiggeril - raaaaawwwwwwr! and many attacks to you.
Silver Fire - that’s because you’ve never spanked Euty. Anyways, no one’s ever commented on my magical glowing genitals. So we’re even, fucker.
Smooth B - yeah. You know. Posting is like hard and shit. You have to click and stuff. Thanks man.
Jack Batty - yes. yes I am. and here’s to things going well for you.
Sue - mmmm grey goose. Haven’t had that in awhile. I got a nice little job at a fab little restaurant. They have a good vodka selection. I’m sure I can belt down a few before work in the morning 
Libertarian - well hell, if I had known I woulda thrown you a party. I’ve always enjoyed your presence. Even when we disagree violently, and resort to debate tactics that would embarrass 8 year olds, I find you an entertaining and informative presence on the board.
Anthracite - make handy my beatch? oh my, I don’t really even know how to respond to that. I do want to thank you though, and might I add how wonderful it is to see you happy these days. Keep it up. 
Zenster - I can never say no to cognac dude. Thanks, and I’ll be sure to let everyone know about my adventures down here.
Whammo - ky jelly eh? So you don’t mind if I grease you up and ride you like a sled down the halls.
woodstockbirdybird - the answer is no, I don’t shut up. And I don’t plan on doing so either. If I have to listen to annoying voices constantly, you?ll have to listen to mine.
To everyone I didn’t respond to. It’s because I hate you.
No, actually I just couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say. And you can only say “this means so much to me” so many times before it becomes tiresome. I think I’ve already passed that point. But no matter.
Now for lines of coke off nubile shaved hedgehogs! Shared needles with junkie piranha. Body shots off sexually frustrated tapers. And sexual relations with a variety of amphibious underaged creatures.
Congrats oldscratch!
After the performance poetry thread-which I printed the one you wrote for me and showed my friends-I am happy to see you’re still going strong.