Call me whatever, but I love sucking on a Kalamata pit once I chew off the flesh. Salt!
Pitted kalamatas are an abomination!
Since they’re long and thin, relative to the varieties used for the typical black or green olives, attempting to mechanically pit them results in heartbreak. You either lose too much flesh or the pitting process mangles the olive.
Yes, having to spit things out of your mouth is so classy. Are these also those places where you throw the peanut shells on the floor? Do they have a little spittoon next to your plate?
I admit that I don’t really like green olives (too sour), but I have gotten them in salads on occasion, and they’ve always been sliced and pitted. Though I’ve never gotten a “Greek” salad–this was from salad bars.
If you don’t eat Greek salads, why do you care if they come with pitted olives or a giant, unhusked coconut?
Eating the olive flesh and then briefly sucking the pit is part of the joy of a Greek salad. The olives have pits, crabs have shells, fruit has seeds. Deal with it.
If I ever order a salad and it comes with an unhusked coconut on it, I’m asking for my money back.
I try to hit the waiter in the eye. 
This sounds mighty complicated and specific. I guess I’ve never really paid attention to how I actually do it, but I’m pretty sure fingers are involved.
Although maybe I should look into the finer points of pit-ejection etiquette, just in case I’m ever invited to having a Greek salad with the Queen.
The Miss Manners etiquette rule is that you remove food from your mouth the same way you got it there. If you’re eating with a fork, then back on the fork it goes: Take Food Out the Way It Went In - Miss Manners | UExpress
I don’t remember ever getting an unpitted olive in a salad, but after this thread and how common it is, I’m assuming I have. Apparently it doesn’t bother me. I do get irritated when the vegetables aren’t sufficiently chopped, though.
Not so complicated. Ship me a jar of nice kalamata olives, I’ll make a video of the technique and post it on YouTube.*
*Not totally a joke. I do not feel particularly inclined to post a video of myself eating olives, but if someone buys me a jar of olives and ships it to me, I will post a video.
SO many filthy jokes come to mind…
What nobody has mentioned is that with a properly cured Kalamata olive, the pit has separated from the flesh inside, so it’s trivially easy to remove the pit with the olive in your mouth using only your teeth and tongue. Most other olives aren’t that way (just try to do it with an unpitted Queen olive), which is why they have to be pre-pitted.