Let me explain a bit first. I grew up in South Africa, and had a close friend with whom I kept in touch pretty scantily over the years. Thing is, keeping in touch with her was never easy as she was always moving about usually to places like the Transkei, where she would kind of “go back to nature” growing her own food ect. I always knew we would just pick up from where we left off, you know the kind of friendship I mean. The last time I saw her was 10 years ago and she’d just had a baby boy. So, last night with me, SO and kids planning a trip over there at Christmas, I decided to phone her mom and find out where she was. Me on phone “hello I’m trying to get hold of Lizanne”, her mom very abruptly “she died of breast cancer” me shocked to the core asked about her son “he died of Lukemia”. I never asked any more I said thanks and bye. I phoned her dad back today and he confirmed the news. Anyhow, obviously I didn’t want to ask lots of questions and upset him anymore, but now I’m left hanging. I phoned my brother who is still over there but living a long way from where Lizanne lived, he phoned some friends in our old town to find out more but no-one knew anything. I’ve trawled the net for Birth, death and marriage records in our old town but came up with nothing. It may sound strange that I want proof at least among lots of other questions I have, but when I phoned last night it just didn’t sound like her mother and her and her Dad never got on. It just sounds so unbelievable to me that they both died of cancer. My SO says I just don’t want to accept it, and I’m being paranoid, a father would never say that about his daughter (adopted daughter) and grandson, and I know he’s right but something doesn’t feel right. Well, if you’ve read this far thanks for listening, and if anyone has any ideas of where I might find more info, let me know. I can’t really think straight at the moment with the news and the fact that it’s 5:00am!
I am very sorry for your loss. I, too, lost a dear, close friend (actually, two of them) and I can only imagine how you feel.
The shock may wear off. The pain may lessen. But right now I know it doesn’t feel like either of those sentences are the truth.
Again…I am very, very sorry.
(((eirroc)))
I don’t normally do the hug thing…but in this case I just had to.
Thank you SilkyThreat I appreciate your thoughts and condolences. I wish I could believe it, and am trying to, but it’s hard.