I suspect I’m an exception where money is concerned. I was introduced to the vast differentials in wealth at an early age. I was visiting my girlfriend’s parents in my early 20s. Her father was the pilot for the private jet of a Louisiana oil millionaire. We went out to the airport one day to see her dad off as he was ferrying the millionaire’s kids to their mom’s house in the Smokies (they’d divorced.)
The kids were just toddlers, and it was kinda sad to see them being led among the adults to the plane trip they had to take serveral times a year whether they wanted to or not. As they walked past, my wife pointed at one of them and said, “Worth $3 million” and pointed to the slightly larger one and said “Worth $4 million.”
At that time in my life, I’d been working more or less constantly since I was 17, except for college when I worked part time to put myself though. A year of my labor was valued at less than $20,000 in every job I had ever had (liberals arts major, what can I say?) and here were two toddlers whose fortunes were already well past anything I’d ever made, or was likely to make, barring very good fortune.
I realized however, that the toddlers were no more to blame for the situation than I was. They didn’t choose to be born wealthy any more than I’d chosen to be born … non-wealthy. It was clear to me that there was something wrong with a system that valued people so arbitrarily, but that the people who got the high values were no more at fault for it than the folks who got the low values.
As a result, I’m a huge liberal by current American standards (although all that seems to mean nowadays is that I’m somewhere to the left of Attila the Hun). But I differ from some of the more extreme liberals in that to me the wealthy are not a bunch of evil scum scheming to turn America into just another Third World oligarchy (though I certainly believe if of some wealthy people (Richard Mellon Scaife, I’m lookin’ at you!). Some of them are toddlers as innocent as the two I saw in Louisiana. Most are somewhere in between.
I don’t think it’s that big a deal if you grow up with money and have friends or family who’ve always known you as someone with money.
I think it’s different if you grow up relatively poor and suddenly come into money, either by success or luck. All of a sudden, the poor folk you grew up with look at you differently. They might even expect you to give them money or gifts because they think you “owe it to the neighborhood” or some such shit.
Also, a lot of people make assumptions about people they perceive as wealthy. To my girlfriends friends, I was always the guy from the elitist college for arrogant rich preppy assholes. They never stopped to see ME for MY arrogant elitist preppy assholeness.
I remember another time when a friend of mine thanked us for not making fun of her visiting friend who didn’t have money (as obvious by is glaring lack of Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and “Cocks” baseball hat). What do people think we are? The evil fraternity from every college movie ever made? “HAWW!! HAWW!!! We made you cry!! New money ALWAYS cries!!”
I discuss it with a couple good friends and my dad. Never with strangers. We’re not rich, but my husband and I manage our money well, so some of our friends think we’re loaded. It’s pretty funny, actually – he makes a good 30% more than we do. And never has money for a cup of coffee.
It’s all relative, isn’t it? And a matter or perception. We drive new cars and we own a boat. We must be loaded!! But I buy my clothes from WalMart and thrift stores - we must be broke!!
Or maybe we just feel like a good car is more important than a clothing label. My sister likes designer clothes, and she drives a 10-y/o car. Depending upon where you see her, you might think she’s rich or destitute.
Personally, I think being wealthy means you never need to worry about what you spend. You don’t bother reading the prices on the menu - you just order what you want. You don’t wait for a sale - you buy what you want when you want it. I doubt that I’ll ever be wealthy (someone else keeps snagging my winning lotto tickets!!) but I expect I’ll do OK barring something catastrophic.
I think there’s a religious issue with admitting “wealth”. I know some devout Christians that are wealthy (by hard work) and never talk about their dough at all.
Matthew 19, Verse 24…
“And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
The thinking is “I’m going to heaven, therefore I’m not rich since rich people don’t make it to heaven”.