It took a long time for my husband to warm up to the idea of getting a cat… but when he agreed, he felt good with the decision. From his perspective the cat was Mine and My Responsibility, both fiscally and emotionally. We agreed. I got the cat.
My husband suffers many food allergies – by many, I mean 13 of the most common food items you could think of – no bread, no chocolate, no beef, no dairy, etc. His immune system is kind of a pansy. He also gets seasonal allergies, and is really sensitive to dust.
Since we’ve gotten the cat (over 1 year ago), he has the occasional allergy attack (hay-fever like symptoms.) He suffered these periodically long before we got the cat, but it seems to be at least a bit more frequent. We’ve found that weekly dusting, vacuuming, and laundering of the comforter and sheets makes a significant impact on these allergy attacks.
I love my cat with all of my heart and soul – I’m sure a number of Dopers can understand this. I have never cared more for an animal–never imagined I would ever be so happy with a pet.
Despite this deep and abiding love, I’ve told my husband a number of times that if it became necessary to find the cat a new home due to his allergies, then that’s what we’d do, but I requested that he see a doctor to at least test the cat-allergy hypothesis. His doctor told him that it was extremely unlikely he was having an allergic reaction to the cat, that it was probably dust. My husband preferred lifestyle changes to allergy medication and that’s how we started with the regular cleaning (which we probably should do anyways.)
But every time my husband mentions his sniffling to certain family members, we get an earful about how absolutely imperative it is to get rid of the cat and how it’s so obviously the cat because his father is allergic to cats. I feel like the worst wife ever for even asking to get a cat. I feel like they think I am subjecting him to an unhealthy situation because of my selfishness. Nobody’s ever actually said that part–I just feel guilty I guess.
Anyways, this week I’ve been really sick, and he’s been busy taking care of me. The house needs cleaning. And on the tail-end of my own recovery, my husband has come down with a major cold. We think. Seasonal allergies? Maybe, but I find it unlikely in December. The cat? I don’t know!!!
I told him again: I will lose the cat if it will make you healthy. ‘‘It’s not the cat,’’ he says dismissively. ‘‘Honey, snort, snuffle I appreciate that you would be willing to do… AAACHOOO!…that for me, but I really don’t think it’s the cat.’’ You see, my husband now loves the cat. It is no longer just ‘‘Olives’ Cat,’’ it is our cat. I see the adoration in my husband’s eyes when he gazes lovingly at kitty in his lap and whispers softly, ‘‘You will perish.’’ Hell, I think my cat likes my husband better. I don’t know if my husband is not allergic to the cat, is in denial, or he just doesn’t want to ask me to part with the creature I love so much… but I love no other creature as much as the one I married, and I’d rather have a healthy husband-creature than a sniffly one.
I guess I’m just seeking feedback–on animal allergies (which I know nothing about), on controlling allergens in the home, on how to tell a cold from allergies, on whether we should be investigating the cat hypothesis at more length, or what. It seems like an overall good opportunity to fight my ignorance on cats, allergies, and marriage.
Thanks,
Christy