Malleus Maleficarum
Hmmm, maybe the Bible? One of those big ol’ Catholic or Orthodox versions-they’ve got more books in them, so they’ll be bigger than the wimpy little Protestant ones.
Or a nice leatherbound edition of Moby Dick or something by Tolstoy should do nicely.
When I was in college, our library was split in two sides. One was for quiet study, reading, etc. The other allowed reasonably soft conversation and group work as long as you weren’t too loud. Most libraries seem to have adopted this kind of set up.
Which reminds me-I gotta take another trip to the main branch of the Carnegie down in Oakland. It’s a library lover’s paradise.
IME, librarians can, and do ask a person to leave if they are causing too much of a disturbance. It’s even laid out in the rules when you apply for a library card. (In the small town libraries I’ve had cards with anyway.) Maybe small town libraries are allowed more leeway to police themselves? 
You’d think so, but not always.
I work with a children whose parents let her do whatever she wants to do. She is seven years old. She is developmentally delayed in part because her parents have not taken the time with her to actually socialize her. She does not know how to react to other people at all, no matter their age, and she has no idea of appropriate behavior in certain circumstances.
Her parents insist there’s nothing wrong with her behavior, but when there are four kids in a class sitting quietly and Number Five is gyrating around the room screeching like a cockatoo the entire time, there is a damn problem.
So unless her mother (or some other parental figure) teaches her how to behave in social situations, I really wouldn’t expect an 8 year old to have picked up on it just yet.
Like I said earlier, and mentioned in the thread title, I got the feeling that the poor kid had just never been set any boundaries, and didn’t know how to behave appropriately: she seemed to be indulged up to the point where her mother was inconvenienced, whereupon she was promptly snarled and sworn at and rough-handled. That’s no way to raise a dog, let alone a child.
The words of Mr. Rapp ring in my mind. When someone was yapping in the library instead of shutting their pie hole and reading/studying/quietly whatevering he’d address the offendor, “Are you deaf Mr./Miss X or are you the village idiot?” The addressed party would always look, resulting in, “I believe we’ve answered the question.”
Snickerage ensued.
So true.
Don’t worry, the Fanta Brat will grow up to become one of those jerks that sprawl in the library chairs, snoring, or sit there talking VERY LOUDLY on their mobile phones about some insignificant shit and look at you like you have two heads and Satan eyes if you politely ask them to take the conversation outside. Goddamnit, it’s my RIGHT to annoy the crap out of you bookworms who only want a bit of peace and quiet to indulge your evil literary perversions!!!
No takers? C’mon, it took me six hours to be that off-the-cuff witty.
I live in a medium sized Southern city, say 250,00 or so, and we don’t have a library anymore. We have a “media center.” It all went down hill after that.
Malleus Maleficarum? That would be perfect! Although all the Wiccans would bring you up on hate crimes or something.
Originally posted by Charles Mackay:
Where are the Sprengers of today?! Stopped cold by morons who coddle women and children, that’s where. :mad:
Too obscure, dear. Most people don’t know the name of the manual used by the Inquisisition. Absolutely lovely OP, though.
This is just ineffably wonderful!
OK, Malleus Maleficarum, in addition to being the handbook of the Inquisition, also translates as “The Hammer Of Witches”, and would thus serve admirably for educating imps of Satan about the head with.
Hey, I laughed.
Nobody expects the manual of the Inquisition!
Many moons ago, when I worked in a bookstore, I was in charge of the Staff Favorites area. One of my coworkers, who wrote horror novels and was always reading occult stuff - for research, he said - had the Malleus Maleficarum as one of his Favorites. And yes, it sold quite well!