Huh. He used to have a website, but it appears to not be there anymore.
Hey, coberst, you jive turkey!
What is the problem? Didn’t you know that Autolycus has a problem typing “f” when he intends to type “b”?
The rest of us 19-year olds resent that.
No reflection on the raw age, just that I didn’t make a freshman to be so full of himself (surely the upperclassmen would have let the piss out of him), and an upperclassman should (hopefully) be able to formulate an argument. So I put him at about sophomore level (hope I don’t insult all the sophs out there).
I’m pretty sure coberst is a retired older gentleman. They can be just as silly as those damn kids.
At first I thought that this was a young person just learning to think and write. But the coldness and persistence seemed familiar. I’m thinking that there was someone much like coberst a few years ago. She or he followed the same pattern that coberst has now: offering unpolished and immature essays on out of focus topics, refusing to make conversational exchanges with other Dopers, responding poorly to criticism, refusing to participate in other threads, demonstrating no sense of humor, etc.
All of these things are his or her right to do, of course. But coberst seems to be frustrated at us because we don’t meet up to his or her desires for our behavior. We also have the right not to perform up to his standards.
I wonder if there is something that prevents him or her from interacting with us on a personal level.
Who was the first President you voted for coberst? Mine was LBJ. We all know how that one turned out. Even he knew. He had one or two really good things going for him. That was it.
You know, coberst has actually been around for a very long time. Witness:
His style hasn’t changed any since then.
Never argue with anyone who posts three times in a row.
Bolding mine.
I think you mean “down”. 
*FELCH!
I need somebody
FELCH!
Not just anybody
FELCH!
You know I need someone
FELCH!
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s felchin’ anyway
But now those days are gone, I’ve lost all self-control
So grab a straw and help withdraw your semen from my hole
Felch me if you can, I’m kneelin’ down
And I do appreciate your bein’ round
Felch me 'till my feet fly off the ground
Won’t you please, please felch me?
Felch me
FELCH MEEEEE, OOOH*
©2007 Vinyl Turnip. Any similarities to lyrics from a certain song by a certain well-known British Invasion band are purely coincidental, and I’m pretty sure wouldn’t be actionable under some kind of exclusion thing for satire or whatever. Look, I’m not a lawyer— I’m sure there’s plenty of good info on Wikipedia about it if you’re that goddamned interested. Anyway, it’s not like “Vinyl Turnip” is my real name anyway, genius. How many times do you think “Jack Mioff” or “Harry P. Ness” have been sued successfully? None times, that’s how many!
August 2006 is not a long time ago.
I agree with Zoe. His posting style reminds me of at least one other (unlamentedly) former poster.
Dammit, Turnip, that was uncalled for…
Clever.
Sorry. I guess it’s one of those things you really have to see performed live.
Vinyl Turnip, that was beautiful. It could only be improved by one tiny word…
*And I do appreciate your *reachin’ ** round
Yes, I’m twelve.
Oh, and just to stay on topic, I’ve never made it through an entire **coberst ** post. He’s boring.
The moment he starts talking about mechanical suicide machines, my suspicions will have been confirmed.
Damn, that’s good! I blanked on that line. See, this is why bands sometimes have (for example) four members.
To contribute something roughly on-topic, IIRC our old “suicide machine” buddy did return at least once as a sock, a while back, and was quickly outed and banned. Maybe somebody who gives a shit can do a search on it; I, alas, am not that man.