Many thanks, folks. It looks like the best approach is to offer condolences, and offer help, as the parents request it.
My friend (I’ll call him “Danny”) is the deceased’s father. I know his wife (I’ll call her “Wendy”) somewhat. But I know Danny best, as he and I have acted together in community theatre many times. We’ve been paired together in scenes, as we’ve been called (locally) another Laurel and Hardy. Needless to say, our relationship is based on a lot of laughs.
But it is also based on music. In our community theatre, we do musicals, and my singing experience (outside of musical theatre) is karaoke and church choir. I can read vocal music, but Danny has me beat in that department–he holds music degrees from a couple of universities–and he has been my vocal coach in any musical we have appeared in. And he’s a great coach. He is a choirmaster at a local church, and I have practiced with him–him at the piano, me singing–many times, on weekday afternoons, at his church. He invites me to sing with his church choir every Christmas (“Spoons, I need another bass voice–help me!”), and I always accept.
We are both in our community theatre’s upcoming production. Maybe, a couple of months post-funeral, I should suggest beer and pizza after a rehearsal, on me. We’ve done that a number of times before, after rehearsals. Perhaps this “what Spoons and Danny always do after rehearsal” will help bring Danny back to normal–or as close to normal as he can be, under the circumstances.