What a dilemma trying to find a thread for this post. It will have vitriol, but at too low a level to be Pit. It will solicit recommendations, but secondary to griping about the problem, so it’s not quite right for IMHO. It may branch into a Debate or factual GQ answers about why the market is what it is, but it may not. So for now, it’s the catch-all MPSIMS.
I can’t find a new cellphone that meets my needs! And it’s not that my needs are that esoteric, that they haven’t been manufactured to in the past. It’s just that they are no longer being met by any new stupid, price-driving, bells-and-whistles phones.
Here is what I want:
A clamshell cellphone, with an outer display for time and caller ID. I like being able to see who is calling me on the ID before opening the phone, to know how important a call is to take, and also like having an easily accessible clock on the outside the rest of the time. Not to mention the preferred form factor in my hand (and against my face) of the clamshell and the fact that it’s a hell of a lot harder to mash buttons by accident with the phone on my hip when all the buttons are inside the closed phone. I don’t care about things like color display, video capability, streaming downloads, polyphonic (or now, MP3) ringtones. But the phone cannot, MUST NOT have a camera on it.
Why no camera? My job takes me to just about every Federal building around DC, typically two or three per day, and every place has its own unique security procedure. Some of those procedures ban any recording devices. A growing number ban any cameras. Most do not ban cellphones, which is good, since I really need that phone to stay on me, even when I am at meetings. I hate that it’s an essential lifeline in my job, but I accept that reality. If I have a camera in the phone, which I would not use, I’d have to check the phone at the front desks, which is at least an inconvenience, at most a security concern in and of itself (sure, go ahead and look at my call history. Hey, an incoming call, this could be juicy!).
My current phone is unfortunately beginning to show its age, especially in the battery, which is needing to be replaced more every day. A new battery for the phone would cost about $50. A new phone, lacking the frivolous features I don’t need, with plan, would cost about the same, and likely be better integrated into the provider’s system when it comes to reception.
But there are no new phones (especially with Verizon Wireless, official choice of Those Who Wish To Receive Any Signal On The DC Metro) that satisfy my needs. Hell, two years ago when I bought my current phone, that one phone was my entire list of choices at Verizon.
I understand why every phone now has a camera. And fancy ringtones. And video/download/whatever streaming. The manufacturers did too good a job making what is actually needed in a cellphone (ability to make calls, connect decently to a widely available network, caller ID display, and address book/contact list) years ago. In order to convince people they keep needing to sign up for new plans, and keep buying new phones, the new phones need to have something about them that their old phones do not. So in go the cameras. In the mp3 ringtones. In the video LCD displays (inside AND out!). In the downloading options. In the useless crap features that average Joe Cellphoneuser will never use, but which justify selling prices.
But for the love of Og, why must every phone have the new, useless features, even when there are always half a dozen per service provider that are free after activation/rebates/whatever? Couldn’t those half a dozen phones remain sane, no frills options?
Upon a closer look at Verizon Wireless’ website, there is one phone that could meet my needs. I discounted it as a camera phone by accident because of that big, ugly black circle on the top of it, which seemed the perfect mount for a camera.
But my point still stands. My choice is one ugly ass phone.