Once again - Describe a funny "Far Side" comic.

  1. I hope you can help me Doc.
    I came all the way from Alabama with this danged thing on my knee.
    (Drawing shows guy in doctor’s office with a banjo-shaped cyst on his knee.)

  2. Where the deer and the antelope work.
    (Drawing of deer and antelope pushing wheelbarrows, digging, etc.)
    I like the song references…

Ooh ooh ooh, my favorite:

Police officer in the living room, talking to a distressed-looking doe (a deer. A female deer), with a smug-looking guy toting a rifle in the background:

“I’m sorry ma’am, but his license checks out and after all, your husband was in season. Remember, just because he knocks doesn’t mean you have to let him in.”

My favorite:

A father is talking to his son as they look at the house next door, which has wolves going in and out: “Sorry, Johnny. I know you like the Smiths, but they were weak and slow”. (Or something like that.)

Two polar bears poised over a half eaten igloo…

“You’re right! It’s crunchy on the outside & chewy on the inside!”

A Baseball sitting on a little island, three fish, one with a bat, staring at it from the water. The caption “Great Moments in Evolution”.

Dog on the porch, lawn mower on the lawn, a twisted path mown through the lawn, master with hands on hips saying “You call that mowin’ the lawn? Bad dog! No biscuit! No biscuit!”

I’m always saying “No biscuit! No biscuit!” to people.

One primitive looking man sees some people outside the window of his little hut. He yells to his friends “Anthropologists! Anthropologists!” His friends are scurrying around, trying to put away the TV, VCR, indoor lights, etc.

Woman walking from the chicken coop to the house, carrying a basket of eggs.

Hen walking the opposite direction, carrying a baby.

A cow is grilling up some hamburgers on an open grill, with a chef hat and everything. Two other cows point to him in disgust.

“You’re sick Jessie. Sick! Sick! Sick”

Two cows sitting on a sofa. The phone is ringing on the side table. One cow says to the other, “There it goes again. And here we sit without opposable thumbs.”

The kid who’s pushing on the “pull” door going into the school for the gifted.

Donning his new canine decoder, Professor XXXXX becomes the first person to hear what dogs are actually saying when the bark.

Dog on the street next to the professor: “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
Dog in the next door yard: “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”
Dog chasing car: “Hey! Hey!”
Dog in background: “Heeeeyyyyyy!”

Oh yeah. I still say “Midvale School for the Gifted” to myself whenever I push on a “pull” door or vice versa.

One of my favorites that hasn’t been mentioned: Man talking (with finger shaking and all) to dog, “Ginger, I’ve had it! Stay out of the garbage! Do you understand, Ginger? Stay out of the garbage OR ELSE!.” While dog looks on hearing, “Ginger! blah bah blah Ginger! blah blah blah.”

Captioned: What we say to dogs.
What they hear.

Oh, oh, another one!

A bear comes home to his den. He has a tag stapled to his ear, a radar collar on, a big “No. 8” painted on his side, and a hypodermic syringe sticking out of his backside. He is greeted by his clearly irritated she-bear wife who says, “Late again! Well I hope you have a good excuse this time.”

A dog is sitting in a bar drinking a beer. He’s glancing around with a look of sudden apprehension on his face.

Caption: Larry notices none of the other dogs in the bar are wearing a collar. He suddenly realizes he’s entered a stray bar.

Group of scientist trying to decipher what dolphins say.

One of them has headphones and microphones and is listening to what a dolphin in its pool is saying. He then says something like this to the other ones:

“The dolphin is saying “buaynos-deeaz” (good morning) again!”

Others are marking it in the blackboard, that has mangled Spanish phrases (buenos días, cómo estás, etc.), written as they would phonetically sound to an English speaker.

The scientists cannot communicate with the dolphins because they can’t recognize they speak Spanish instead of English. :slight_smile:

Bear on a unicycle, wearing a muzzle and a tutu, madly peddling away from a rip in the side of a circle tent:

“And Bobo remained free for the rest of his life, although he did require counseling.”
A friend of mine and I were both going through a difficult time in university–she was coming out of the closet, complicated by the fact that she was married, and I was in love with a wholely unsuitable man–and we used to quote that line to encourage oneanother. “You’ll make it through. You may require counseling, but you’ll make it.”

The snake handler who gets a 30 year cumulative attack of the willies.

Beware of Doug. (still love that one. The furtive and suspicious look on Doug’s face just makes it for me.)

I came in here to say Midvale School for the Gifted, but since others have mentioned it, here are some of my other faves:

People are toiling away in Hell, except for one guy who’s whistling as he works. One demon overseer says to the other: “You know, we’re just not reaching that guy.”

Coupla cowboys are huddled behind burning covered wagons, fighting indians. One says to the other: “Hey, they’re lighting their arrows! Can they DO that?!”

Typical Gary Larson woman sitting in her living room. There’s a big lizard in front of her wearing a human mask, hat, and trenchcoat, who says: “Dangit Monica, I can’t live this lie any longer! I’m not a TV repairman who just stumbled into your life - I’m a Kimodo Dragon, largest member of the lizard family, and a filthy liar!”

There are so many good ones - that guy was a genius!